"I'm a busy man, and only have time to listen to the first three seconds of any voicemail message I receive. Be sure to get your point across in those three seconds, or else your message will be ignored. Thank you."
"I'm a busy man, and only have time to listen to the first three seconds of any voicemail message I receive. Be sure to get your point across in those three seconds, or else your message will be ignored. Thank you."
"The most important and recognize player in the history of the country."
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I were as great as Paulo Wanchope.
The best advice would be don't try to be funny, just put something up there short and simple, and go with that.
Even if you were to come up with a voice mail message that was truly funny (which would be rare), everyone will hear it in about a month, and then you will have to change it anyway.
"If you are hearing this I don't like you enough to talk to you on the phone, please don't leave a message after the beep."
My answering message sung by me:George Costanza's answering machine message is a good one.
"Believe it or not Rob, Jen, Amelia and Opree aren't at home, please leave a message at the beep. They must be out or they'd pick up the phone, where could they be? Believe it or not we're not home!!!!"
When I was in NZ, my voicemail had me clearing my throat, reciting the full two verses of Old King Cole, followed by "Thanks. Leave a message." It was great. Nothing will ever top it.
However, I always enjoyed that used by my Aunty Di at one point...
"Hi, I didn't pick up the phone because I'm avoiding someone. If I don't call you back in five minutes, it's you."
There's also this list, which includes the message which inspired De la Soul's song of the 80's (or was it 90's?), Ring Ring Ring (Ha Ha Hey).
EDIT: Another idea is to make your message full of beeps and not much else, so they have no clue when to start talking.
EDIT: Oh hey that idea is on that site too. Go figure.
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Because I get a lot of job offers and Tech Service Requests through my phone line, I keep it simple. Nothing says I'm-too-unprofessional-for-this-job like a voice mail message that says "Hello, you have reached Jenova. After the tone, please leave your name and a short plea for your pathetic life."
So, my message is pretty generic.
| Beati Pauperes Spiritu; Quoniam Ipsorum est Regnum Caelorum |
"You know what to do."
"Hello? Hey, what's up? Wait, what? Ohh, I'm not here right now, leave a message."
I went on a Final Fantasy message board to ask if they could come up with a witty voice mail message. "No" was the apparent answer.
My friend has one that says "You have reached the voice mailbox of Satan."
Everything except Satan is in a generic voice.
It's not terribly original but it is funny.
Tôi đói.
On a sidenote, one of the best answering messages I've ever heard was at work. Someone had tried recording their message and screwed up, and obviously never re-recorded properly.
"Hi, this is Ann and -- oh, god,..." BEEP
She must have had something like a hundred missed calls that day after everyone called it for a laugh.
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
"AHHHHHHH! I'm stuck in this devil box, let me out! LET ME OUT!!!"
*beep
Boldly go.
Record something in a foreign language that nobody you know speaks.
Maybe soon you'll catch up to the 2000's where everyone over the age of seventeen knows witty voicemail messages are obnoxious.
*kick*
"Mark Huculak here. I'm not avaliable right now. I used to work at Wendy's, but at least I never worked at Arby's. Now I work at a call center and some time in between the two I happened to find the Dao. Please leave a message after the tone."
I'm a fan of the classic "Hey, what's up?", simply because of the messages people leave afterwards.
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