The Journal Thread (October)

[Shoyku]

10/08/01

well, yesterday I got meself Baldur's Gate 2! er... the Manual is more like a novel tho... I guess I can't write much in this space since I'm not thinking properly. But one things for sure... Imoen is NOT worth 20k!

[Calliope]

hm...not much different. towns wasn't at school today so we couldn't do the scooby doo thing. hehehenyahaha. ha! i can't even be bothered finishing this post, there's no point cos the more things change the more they stay the same

goodnight amigos!

[Silverlocke]

“…Blew, blew away, but I don’t wanna fade…”

I’ve written quite a lot lately, but I don’t believe I’ll be posting it. I wrote it with the intention of posting it, but it was a bit too personal, even though I took effort to depersonalize it. Oh well…

Cliché as it may be to state such, love, whatever kind of it you might have, IS the energy behind which all which is created, and the lack of it is the only thing which truly destroys. Dark. light, in-between, but I don’t know. Whatever it may be, my new salvation is such that I don’t think I’ll ever be the same, and that is quite a good thing, I feel. I’m still more intoning than feeling, but it gets tiresome to disconnect from most of your life and connect and strengthen with the rest. I’m still here, though. I’ll probably ramble on later.

I don't know if I'm being cryptic. If you know what I'm talking about it makes sense. No, really. Maybe...

[Mikztsu]

Hmm..I haven't been writing here yet. I've had LiveJournal for a while, but I guess I could paste and copy some of my LJ entries here.

Here goes today, oh-my-so awful today:

"What are you doing, oh great Ghostraper?"

"I don't know."


[ mood | blah ]
[ music | System of a down - Spiders ]

Today wasn't that great. :rolleyes2

For some reason I felt awful in morning and I decided to take day off. Finland is getting so cold already; It's below zero in the mornings now. That feels cold after summer, and now I'd just better begin adjusting in -30 celcius's freeze. Our Ice-hockey practises begin in 10 days, and I'm little excited about that. Hockey is my bringer of light in winter. I've been listening all kinds of hockey related songs lately, related so that they usually play them between the whistles in games. Trying to get myself inspired and such. Yep yep. I should be careful with my left wrist too. Baah, I wanna out from Finland for a while.

Gah, my thoughts were flying more and more far in the future. As I took day off, I was online pretty much this morning. I was very very bored. Then later in day we went indoor swimming and sauna, and that was great. That always makes me feel great. I didn't feel like going anywhere after that and I came home. Watched TV, played some Baldurs gate, napped, thought and planned stuff, came online and now I'm bored again.:P People who'd I really like to chat with stay for like few mins online tonight, or aren't online at all.

Haha,yeah! And while I napped today I saw most odd dream. Can't remember it well, but 'tis was odd. It was related to someone else's dream that person had seen earlier. *laughs* I don't feel like sharing it now. Heh, it's very late and I should go to bed.

I could almost honestly say that I almost fear going to bed now, if I felt being honest about this fear. Yeah, goodnight folks. *tucks and messes everyone's hair*

EDIT: I've been called many, but I apparantely have a new nick and it's Milkers. *.O *fears every single one of YOU*

[Daryl]

Tuesday, October 9, 2001 - 6:50 PM CST

Song of the Day: "Somewhere Out There"

I had the best conversation last night, on the phone, with a friend I haven't spoken "seriously" to (as in, beyond "hey, how's it goin'?") in far too long. It made my day better, and I was already having a rather good day.

I'm really confused, but what else is new, right? I'm not sure what I'm doing with my life. Heh. I may be changing majors in school, but I don't know what I should do. I'm just... uninspired to do much of anything, really. I have no ambition anymore, and it shows in how often I skip classes, or just sleep the day away.

Days are hard. Nights are easier. Nights are dark, it's harder to see.

It's good at time to be blind.

Somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight...
someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight...

I think that I'm starting to tear away a lot of my delusions about life, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or a bad thing. I rather enjoy being in my little self-made happy land. Cliche as it is, ignorance is truly bliss.

I don't even know what I'm saying tonight. Heh. I feel like a child again.

Somewhere out there, someone's saying a prayer,
that we'll find one another
in that big somewhere, out there...

My friends are a great comfort to me. They let me curse and kick and rant and sing until I feel ready to continue living. My significant other (gosh, it's hard to find a term that sounds more 'grown-up' and less high school like than 'boyfriend' that doesn't sound so... clinical) brings balance to my life, heh, even as he brings chaos. It's nice to have someone, finally, who accepts me for who I am, and who I don't feel the need to hide my 'true self' from. I can be me without fear of not being accepted. I rather like that.

Yet, I'm feeling closed off from everyone in my life. I really don't know why. I think it's because I'm starting to push people away again. Stupid and foolish of me, I know, but sometime's the only way I can cope is to be alone.

And even though I know how very far apart we are,
it helps to think we might be wishing
on the same bright star.

Music has been my true comfort today. I've been singing on and off all day (so nice to finally have my voice back completely!), and it just makes me feel... right. Heh.

I can't help but wonder why I keep writing this, or if it makes sense to anyone... that is, if you all haven't already stopped reading. Lryics...

And when the night wind starts to sing
a lonesome lullaby,
it helps to think we're sleeping
underneath the same big sky.

Y'know, I haven't even thought of this song since a few years back, when these girls were singing it as a duet in choir, and I worked with them outside of class, polishing it. It's a good tune, despite its simplicity... maybe because of its simplicity. Who knows, who cares? I certainly don't. Anyway, a friend last night (during aforementioned phone call, I believe) reminded me of this song... heh. Now it's stuck in my head!

I think I've reached that point where I should really stop this. I want to sing again. Heh. Just for those of you who need the end of the song, though... here. Feel fulfilled!

Somewhere out there, if love can see us through,
then, we'll be together somewhere out there,
out where dreams come true...

Yes. Tuesday's almost over. And, this entry is over.

~Daryl

[Delglad]

I guess it's really morning, but this is around the time I usually get ready to go to bed. Anyway, today was a pretty normal day in my now strange life, but work was a bit stressful. Dealing with stupid people all day tends to cause some stress. Finally, though, I'm able to relax and have some free time (enough to actually get things done) from work for a few days. I need to do some shopping, maybe some cleaning. It's been hard adjusting to things around my house lately, and home just doesn't seem to feel like home anymore. Actually, everything seems different lately, and sometimes I wonder if things will ever be "normal" again.
Oh well... Nothing much else to do but wait and see what tomorrow brings...

[Ashi]

Mood: Artistic.
Music: FFIX: Disc 2: Track 17.
Entry:

Okay so today's events are coming back. xD

They took us on a trip from school today. Kelly and I were like, we didn't want to go but Sarah made us. We really didn't have much of a choice anyway. We went to a lecture .. too made we made it in the second half of it, it sounded very interesting.

Hmm...there was something that I had to say ..

Oh yeah. When we came back from the "field trip".. Bea, Ash, Cas and I went to the Cafeteria ... the Social Worker said we could so we went. Cas said she was hungry. But we didn't go to class straight after getting the food .. we sat near the stairs till Cas was done. Then we decided to head to class.
We got to class, okay? BUT the teacher was angry. She was pacing around in front of class and didn't even look at us! *fear*
I don't know if she was just angry at the four of us or everyone else. Because when she talked to the social worker they called two other girls from our class; can't understand why.
In Chemistery class the headmistress came in and gave us a lecture about what we did in math class. Though I still can't understant "what" made the teacher angry! Was it the four of us being late, or was it everyone else?! *confused*
Looks like I'm going ot have to go talk to our headmistress on Satureday morning. If the other three don't want to "fess up", it's up to them ... but I kinda want to.

After a talk with Mum today, she told me that I shouldn't dwell on things, it lowers your own opinion of yourself. But this. I mean, this has to be dwelled on ... it's so worth it.

*Needs to go have another talk with Mum*

Yep. These days I tell my mum alot of things. I'm glad we're getting closer. =)

Ohh yeah. And some people have been trying out all new ways of getting on my nerves. -_-;; I would've told them to stop it all but whenever I try they play stupid and pretend they have *no* idea what I'm talking about.

[Calliope]

today was 'gloat day'

[Mikztsu]

"Why are you tormenting me so greatly, oh Ghostraper?"

"I don't know, oh little ghost."

[Music: Mikztsu - Voices in my head]

Hello.

Today was the day of severe confusion and oddness.

Last night I woke up, and I was shaking and couldn't breath well. That was kinda freaky. *_* Not many thoughts in my head to share with you now. *feels kind of Mik*

Nighty, everyone.

[Danni]

I've been in Virginia for two days and I already want to go home, is that normal? I mean really, WTF?? I'm so incredibly bored and lonely here. I have no one to talk to cuz Jon's always at class or has tons of homework.. which I expected would happen.. but there's nothing to goddamn do either. And I can't talk to my net friends when they are on because I can't get on the compy.. I'm sharing one modem with 3 college guys.. hmm.. I think their homework just MIGHT come before my "silly" need to talk to my friends..and it does

[Ashi]

Mood: cheerful.
Music: Tunnel Allstars - Let your mind fly (Dj @ work edit).
Entry:

*Retraces today steps*.

Okay, I got up at about 9 something AM. The oddest thing happened. While I brushed my teeth, I wondered when was my next appointment with the dentist was going to be. It'll be a pre-braces thingy. Then, about two minutes later my sister walked in my room and said that someone wanted me on the phone. It turns out that they called me from the dental clinic to remind me that my appointment is going to be on Satureday afternoon. Isn't that weird or what?

After that we dropped Sethy and Henry off at grandmama's and picked Lilly up.

We headed to the clinic. Pat and Steve were going to get shots. Man, it took ages in a waiting room full of little children. But we did get out in the end.

Then we went to the mall near the clinic. First we went to Zara (a clothes store). Lilly was telling me that everyone in the university was talking about how cute the guys who work in Zara. But it's not just the workers, the male models are also drop dead gorgeous (duh). I mean, when we were looking at the posters in the male section it was like ... oh wowies. But anyway. I picked up half the store then walked to one of the cashiers and got mum to pay for about 80% of the stuff that I got. Whee. Mum never does that. I really must be dying.

After Zara mum decided to go The Body Shop with Pat. Steve came with Lilly and me to the gallery. Some of the women who work in the gallery are sooo annoying. They make you buy everything. I usually just tell them off. But today, the worker I talked to didn't really bother me much. But the one who talked to Lilly on the other hand ... . Mum joined us in the gallery later and we watched Lilly and the worker from afar. She looked like she was in deep debate. She came out later with a bag full of make up saying "It wasn't me!". xD.

Then we decided to go to Promod. We didn't get anything from there; we just looked around. Then we went upstairs and decided to look for Nine West (a place that sells shoes). But we discovered that it was at the other end of the mall and mum almost cried so we decided not to go. We went back to the ground floor and got milk shakes from Baskin Robins. Then Steve went and got a video game. Mum and Pat headed to Carrefore and made the rest of us go get lunch (take away).

We came home after that. Wait ... we went to Early Learning Centre to get something for my baby brother .. but I'm not sure where would it fit. xD

At home I called "R" and asked him if he was going to go to the club. He said he hadn't asked yet and that he'd call back. I called Cas and didn't get any answer. "R" called me back later and told me that he was going at 7:30 and going home at about 8:15. Ride problems as well. -_-;. Mum said she wouldn't take me to the hang out at 7:30 'cose it would be late and none of my other friends are going today so I decided not to go. I left "R" a message explaining that.

I went to grandmamma's house this evening. I took my psone with me and played Final Fantasy VII from the beginning.

Hee. *Laughs at self* I talked on the phone alot today. xD

I just shared my whole day with yoop all. *dies self*

Now I just need to go finish work on the profiles for Laurens. I did alot last night.

[Mikztsu]

From LJ thing:

[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Incubus - Drive ]

"Mik, who are you?"

"I don't know."

Hmmm...today was todayish.

Right now it's 1:45AM, and I'm going to bed soon. Few things troubled me and others didn't.*_* *thinks and thinks* Gosh, I can't think much to say, I thought about 10 minutes what to say after the previous sentence, and my head really feels so empty right now. I don't feel like boring you with details of my day now.

Yeah, someone (well, not just "someone", Shadow Nexus) posted first ever MikArt from my very first week here in EoFF from December!!*dances* I was so touched to see that thread. It's amazing how he still had it.*_O *sporks self for deleting it in a first place* I kinda promised to carry his babies if he can find the second MikArt, but I guess it's worth it...I guess. I wanna see that nifty Cloud, Sephiroth, Barret, Dyne, Marlene and random Shinra soldier picture again.:P Here's the link to that first ever MikArt thread if anyone's interested: http://www.eyesonff.com/forums/showt...threadid=10214

Yeppers, I should go to bed.*_^ Have a good night/day/morning, whatever it is where are you at.

[Julia]

Dear journal,

I posted some neat things today and got some new add-ins to my msn messenger. it was fun. Plus i chatted a bit today, but long enough to annoy Aexoden(who called himself the bunny wabbit in the chat room) =)
anywayz, i'm going to sleep now. See ya around journal.

[SilenceMessiah]

October 11 2001
Precisly 9:03ish
Song: Track 15 on my soundtrack to my life: Sum 41 - Nothing on my Back

*sighs*

It has been a long day, not to say that officially any day is longer then anyother, but this day, in therealm of my time, was quite possily a full year. I find it ironic how people seem to act the same around you if they really hate you and or really like you, theirs just slight;ly more touchin involved in the second of the two, or at least in a less hurtful mannor. However, under any circumstances this coul not be summed up as a good day. It appears that the entire face of the earth is about to plumet off some slighty menacing yet, none the less unintimdating face of the galaxy, I however am not inclinded to deny this from happening, I suppose I am beign to vague; and possibly crpytic.

It's the week of homecoming, ah yes, that magical spirit time of the year. Pardon me but, gag me with a spoon. I am not saying I don't like my school however the thought of beating someone senseless in a moon walk thing with big glovesdoesn;t exactly "light my fire", comical as it may be, I'd rather watch other peopel make asses of themselves. Aside from teh fact that I can;t go bowling tommarow, everything I suppose it good... oh and I'm broke .. but that's beside the point.

I can;t say I've had the most enjoyable week after the Acmlm fiasco, and bitching at certian webmasters to get off their lazy southern asses and get FFL up, or at least a temp site. *sips dr. pepper* I have homework to do, but the idea of doing it, has barely creeped it way into my mind. Oddly enough through all of this, I am still relaxed, and for the most part calm, I realize I shoudl be upset, but apperantly I am too tired or to calm to give a damn. I guess everything will work out in the end... I mean, it always does with us, we always end up getting everythign done, We don't know how, but we do....

Sincerly
~Silence Messiah
tend not to talk in first person, I'll work on that.

[Danni]

I feel pretty awful right now... I wish my friends would just tell things, instead of hiding them from me, and letting me find so.. which hurts more. -_-;;; Sometimes I wonder if some of these even deserve my trust..
here's the song for my mood... Linkin Park "in the end"



It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme, to remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I

Chorus

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know (2x)

Chorus