The Journal Thread (October)

[Calliope]

ducdame, ducdame ducdame!

everything is the same. how very amusing.

[Dingo Jellybean]

Ocotober 23rd, 9:12 PM EST(Tuesday)/11:12 AM Sydney Time(Wednesday)

Hmmm...there's no cold water in my house. So I had to use the dishwasher as well as take a "poor man's shower." If you weren't poor before, don't ask.

[Loony BoB]

I feel like I've had yet another rugby ball come sailing down from the sky and land on my head xD

Talked to the girl, and I'm still totally clueless as to what the hell I'm meant to do about anything. I guess all that I wanted her to know is that I like her. Now that's out of the way, I have no idea where to go.

[Danni]

I haven't written in a while.. that's only cuz I haven't really had anything to talk about. Now however, I've decided it's about time I updated this silly thingy.

Well saturday nite I decided that's it! I'm dying my hair.. Now! so jon and I went and hunted down hair dye. I had to *gasp* bleach my hair before i could color it. I was blonde for like 5 minutes.. twas scary.. i make an awful blonde. *ick* Then I dyed it blue! yes.. blue. xD it's faded a lil bit since I did it, due to showering and stuff.. why the hell don't they make permanent blue hair dye? *sighs* it would make life so much easier. I also bought new gauges. A new one for my belly button.. I finally took the hoop out, and now I have a barbell.. and i finally gauged the third hole in my ear lobe.. I went from a 20 to a 16.

I saw some movies over the weekend.. "from hell" and "corky Romano". They were both very very good... or at least I thought so. *shrugs* From hell was a lil bit weird but meh, I can't remember any Johnny Depp movie that wasn't.

I also thought quite a bit this weekend, about a lot of stuff. Jon and I talked a lot, and I found out something about my "friend" Chrissy. She's said some things behind my back to Jon, and that smurfing hurts. Soooo.. i wrote her an email.. all I have left to do now is wait for her to reply. She'd better not try to pacify me.. it won't work. God, I thought she was my friend.. but I guess I was wrong. *kicks something and changes the subject*

*giggles* I wrote Mikael some very silly emails the last two days. *hehe* He's one of the only people I've talked to online recently. *huggs him tight* I've talked to him, Rafael, and Scott... but Scott only once. We seem to have grown apart again.. *sighs* I miss all of my friends a lot. Both the ones online, and off. I haven't talked to Simon in ages... every bloody time I come online he's never on, or on aim but on away. Mikael says he's always on the same time as him, but always on away. Bah.. whatever.

So today, I finally emailed mark back. It only took me a month to figure out how I felt, and how to put it. I was so nervous when writting the email.. I mean after the letter he sent me, I was thrown for a loop. *sighs* I think I'll write more about that a bit later in a locked entry.. so if you want to read it go ahead.

All I have to say right now is, thank god for the friends I have now, the ones I can trust.. and I wish the ones I hurt I hadn't... I miss my best friends so much, it actually physically hurts. Is this normal?

Current Mood: nervous
Current Music: Incubus- Pardon Me (acoustic)

[Jewels]

Today was a mess. Failed my social studies test just by one mark. I soo hope I do not have to resit it just cos of one stupid mark.

My personal life is just turning upside down. I really don't know what to do in my own situation but I guess it will never be said. How I feel that is.

Thinking about Angel Sirius today and how he's coping with his friend passing away. Just makes me remember my cousin and how it felt when I found out he committed suicide. I guess it did take a while to actually get over it.

[Rinoabella]

I did something today, I don't know whether to regret it or be proud of it.

This guy, we've never actually HAD an argument or anything before...but he knows I dislike him, it's kinda developed over time. And he dislikes me because of that. And the strange thing is, I actually went with him to the ball! He was different then though, or maybe it was just because I didn't know him well then. Anyway, I dislike him now because he bitches about me to my friends, because he is a dirty sleaze, because he talks about people behind their backs, and because he is mean.

He's in three of my classes. He sits there and stares at me sometimes, it creeps me out. These past few days, I've really gotten annoyed with him! Today in Art Design, he kept interrupting a conversation between me and my friend, and then started making fun of me. So I told him to ":bou::bou::bou::bou::bou: off"...which immediately made all my friends stop and look at me in shock. I was shocked myself cos it's not like me! I apologised straight away, and I said I didn't mean it...but it felt kinda good at the time. He deserved it. I don't know why I couldn't hold it in...maybe it's cos I was so angry...my friends are all good friends with him, so it's hard to talk about him with them. I dunno what to do...maybe I'll switch tables in Art DES or something, I just need to get away from him.

[Mikztsu]

Meh, very good friend of mine (or at least I thought so) seems to be ignoring me, and I absolutely have no idea why...This really sucks, because we used to talk a lot and about many things, and now all this so suddenly...Which really bothers me is the fact I have no idea why. I really can't think anything how I could've possibly hurt him, if I have.

It has to be some sort of misunderstanding, at least I hope so. Or do I? Well, it would really be shame to lose a good friend because of misunderstanding.


*goes to rock the floor* Good night.

[Spatvark]

This is my 1st entry & it feels kinda weird, writing down personal stuff, but hey, who cares? It's not as if ne of u lot know me so... fudge it

[Today's song: F.O.D. by Green Day (say's it all)]

My problems r probably quite trivial but getting them down might help. Teen angst... who needs it?

Neway, I'm in a love-life dilemma (suprise suprise...). I'm in love with my best friend Michelle. We haven't really known each other that long, only about 1&1/2 years, but I can't help it. I 1st got 2 know her after she had a messy split-up with her jerk of a boyfriend, James. Every1 treated her like trout, except me really, coz' well... wot else r freakz like me good 4? I was always attracted 2 her coz' well... she's fine, but I wasn't really in love with her. This was all at the end of Yr. 11, & we spent our 6 weeks holiday 2gether mostly, just chillin', smoking some spliff:smoking: , getting 2 know each other. It turned out we had a lot in common, Music, clothes (I'm a bloke & I don't cross-dress...................... well, not often:laugh: ), pet hates, dirty jokes, TV, films, etc. By then I was really starting 2 fall in love with her & then the paranoia kicked in as usual with me:shame:

U c, I'm really afraid of rejection (yeah... like who isn't?) & just couldn't ask her out. I mean there's this veritable goddess, & there's me, an unhygenic slob who smokes 2 much & ain't exactly about 2 win ne beauty contests... what can I say? I'm a coward, I always c the worst in personal situations.

So, back at school 4 Yr. 12, me & Michelle go 2 a party which I have 2 virtually drag her 2. Neway, another friend of mine, Rhys is there, & the 2 of them r getting on really well... 2 well, & end up with each other by the end of the night... bugger, I really feel like beating the crap out of everything:shoot: , I mean it's my fault they're 2gether (& I MEAN my fault 4 reasons I'll get on2 l8r), ruining everything 4 me.

The next day back at school I tell Rhys that if he ever hurts her I will F*@KING kill him. I told him this bcoz' he has a past history of being trout in relationships... 1st he went out with Katy, nothing major there; then he went out with Sarah, Katy's sister (eek! ) which caused troubles, & then he f*@ked about behind Sarah's back with Olivia... REPEATEDLY, ending up with 1 major cat-fight between Sarah & Olivia; then whilst continually stringing Olivia along, making her think there could b something there just so he could get a few shags, he was making his moves on Gemma. Here the pattern is changed; with Katy, Sarah or Olivia, Rhys just kept treating them like trout & they kept coming back... tragic really, but in this case, it was Gemma who treated Rhys like trout (3 cheers for Gemma! ) & Rhys kept on running back. Neway, after all of that, Rhys starts going out with Michelle, the 1 who owns my heart:boohoo: , & I'm really worried about her coz' she has a habit of picking troutty boyfriends, & u can't get much trouttier than Rhys, + she always gets really depressed after the messy break-up I was sure would follow.

Now, about 1 yr & 1 month since they started going out, they r still 2gether, despite the MAJOR fights they keep having, coz' she keeps on crawling back 2 him. It makes me feel sick quite honestly, 2 c the way he treats her & the way she keeps taking it. 4 times she's sworn she's going 2 end it, but no... it still ain't happening & she's becoming more & more depressed every day, & I love her more & more every day...

The main problem is, whilst Rhys is completely crap as a boyfriend, he is 1 of my best mates, so now I'm torn between him & Michelle. What do I do? Do I b a friend 2 Michelle & tell her 2 dump him? I mean, I haven't exactly got an impartial view on this whole thing. Or do I keep quiet & not do nething, & watch as Rhys treats her worse & worse each day? Or do I tell her how I feel, risking f*@king everything up between me & Michelle, or even me & Rhys? Bloody teenage melodrama, it don't get ne better.

Neway, along with my love-life problems (huh... wot love-life?), I'm doing really trout at school. It's not as if I'm not smart enough, it's the fact that I'm a lazy c?£t. If I actually applied myself, I could kick the crap out of everybody else in the exams, but it's not that easy. I don't know wot I want 2 do in life or at Uni, & I haven't got much time left 2 decide...

Ah sod it, I can't think of nething else 2 write, but I'll b back... after some sleep maybe

Cya all l8r...

[Calliope]

i don't know. give up or grow up? throw up or harden up? maybe...i'll just shut up

[Spatvark]

wow... I just read wot I wrote... wot a load of crap! :laugh: Ah well, as I said

Teen angst... who needs it?

oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear

[Shattered Chest]

25. Lokakuuta, 2001. I have the anthrax for sure. I've been hallucinating about Wyllius, which is not good. I want to be independent, but that Wyllius character has me under HIS spell.

[Mikztsu]

Okay, I had awesome offline day as we went swimming and all that, but online sux0red. PM from Cerrers that she's still alive was one the bright spots of onlineness. =)

As tonight sux0rs, I'll go to my bed/floor thing now, and it's relatively early to me (About midnight). And the fact that I'll have to sleep on the floor doesn't even amuse me anymore. It starts pissing me off. Today I've been cranky anyways.

~Mik

P.S. I was half sleep when I wrote this, and it probably shows. I barely could keep my eyes open.

[Calliope]

hurrah! drainpipe trouser tastic! i just got a scholarship to study at university! and i didn't even have to do anything! *is stunned* yeah...they'll pay for my whole degree if i get good enough grades...now what am i going to do...i'll have no mountainous debt chaining me to bankruptcy (spelt wrong) ...egad! i have a future now! *is scared*

yay yay yay!

[Tragic Rain]

I'm lonely. none of my old friends ever get online anymore. The internet just doesn't 'do it' for me anymore. i get on and check my mail and check the posts here, but that's it. id like to have a person to talk to on AIM........my AIMname is tragicrain69...

[Jewels]

Today wasn't so great after all. I have such a sore throat that I know I'm going to get the cold. Darn it. I'm gonna be moaning and groaning for at least a week to everyone. And if Scott rings in the weekened, I'm gonna be sounding horrible.

I know I promised myself that I won't ever get into a net relationship but really this promise doesn't want to last. I guess I wouldn't mind being in one but more of that I just want a close friend. I had one online but I hardly ever get to see him anymore and it's frustrating cos he always cheered me up and knew all the right answers. But some people just think I like this guy and I know that I don't in that way but then sometimes I wish I did....I guess I'm just confused at the moment. I really wish my close friend and I could talk more often.