a story in a song!

[Xander]

I like songs that tell little cute stories.... what songs do you like that kinda tell a story, it can be silly or cute or just anything really Tell us some of the stories!

I love the story of Nickee Coco in a song by Of Montreal.

Nickee Coco and the Invisible Tree
Nickee finds an invisible tree so she climbs it and falls asleep in it. Everyone thinks she has gone missing and calls out a search but noone could find her, but she was okay eating mangos in her dream Well then an owl happened to fly by and found her and they got an owl translator and found out and then it was all ok

"After an owl translator was called in and the owl's wonderful message was understood the whole town joyously followed the owl back to the invisible tree where little Nickee was still fast asleep." I just love that bit, owl translator :3

I can't remember the others I was going to mention so thats it for now

[Araciel]

leroy brown

[Dr Aum]

Pretty much any Steely Dan song.

[Jowy]

We are two mariners
Our ships' sole survivors
In this belly of a whale

Its ribs our ceiling beams
Its guts our carpeting
I guess we have some time to kill

You may not remember me
I was a child of three
And you, a lad of eighteen

But I remember you
And I will relate to you
How our histories interweave

At the time you were
A rake and a roustabout
Spending all your money
On the whores and hounds
Oh Ohhhhh

You had a charming air
All cheap and debonair
My widowed mother found so sweet

And so she took you in
Her sheets still warm with him
Now filled with filth and foul disease

As time wore on you proved
A debt-ridden drunken mess
Leaving my mother
A poor consumptive wretch
Oh Ohhhhh

And then you disappeared
Your gambling arrears
The only thing you left behind

And then the magistrate
Reclaimed our small estate
And my poor mother lost her mind

Then one day in spring
My dear sweet mother died
But before she did
I took her hand as she, dying, cried:
Oh Ohhhhh

"Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave
*sigh*"

It took me fifteen years
To swallow all my tears
Among the urchins in the street

Until a priory
Took pity and hired me
To keep their vestry nice and neat

But never once in the employ
Of these holy men
Did I ever once turn my mind
From the thought of revenge
Oh Ohhhhh

One night I overheard
The Prior exchanging words
With a penitent whaler from the sea

The captain of his ship
Who matched you toe to tip
Was known for wanton cruelty

The following day
I shipped to sea
With a privateer

And in the whistle
Of the wind
I could almost hear...
Oh Ohhhhh

"Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave

"There is one thing I must say to you
As you sail across the sea
Always, your mother will watch over you
As you avenge this wicked deed"

[haunting, sailor-esque musical interlude lead by mandolin, accordion and tuba]

And then that fateful night
We had you in eye sight
After twenty months at sea

Your starboard flank abeam
I was getting my muskets clean
When came this rumbling from beneath

The ocean shook
The sky went black
And the captain quailed

And before us grew
The angry jaws
Of a giant whale

[instrumental noise]
Oh Ohhhhhhhhhh
[screaming]
Ohhhhh
[screaming]

Don't know how I survived
The crew all was chewed alive
I must have slipped between his teeth

But, O! What providence!
What divine intelligence!
That you should survive
As well as me

It gives my heart
Great joy
To see your eyes fill with fear

So lean in close
And I will whisper
The last words you'll hear
Ohh Ohhhhh

<3

[I Took the Red Pill]

The Devil Went Down to Georgia plz

[Xander]

Oh yes, Decemberists! I have not listened to my Picaresque CD nearly enough!

[Bunny]

Pain of Salvation's Remedy Lane. Entirely.

But if you want to get more specific:

She is still young...

Another day of emptiness
This life is wearing her down
The room around her is a mess
Her children safe with her mom

She is still young but feeling old
Two children with different fathers
She sits on the bathroom floor alone
The shower chain broke
Her neck hurts

Then another night of emptiness to wear her down
Naked to the world she wraps her sadness in a gown
Her children fast asleep she sears the dark with glassy eyes
Choosing carefully among her husband's business ties

"Over!" she cries through rope ends and silk ties
Beautiful life escaping her young blue eyes
But life holds her hand, refusing to let go
Leaving her breathing on the floor

They're still asleep don't hear her cry
And she's still obsessed with rope ends
This time she picks a stronger tie
With Winnie the Pooh and friends

She is still young but feeling old
A child dying to be a mother
Now she hangs from the ceiling all alone
All pressure is falling from her

Seeing guilt has taught her guilt she's raised on disbelief
Merely twenty beautiful but with a taste for grief
She has learnt all that there is to know about hopelessness
Seeing that no effort in this world can stand her test

"Over!" she cries through rope ends and silk ties
Beautiful life escaping her young blue eyes
And Winnie is strong, would never let her fall
Prevents her from breathing till she's not there at all
But life holds her hands, refusing to let go
Leaving her breathing on the floor

[Johan Hallgren]

[Daniel Gildenlow]

Seeing guilt has taught her guilt she's raised on disbelief
Merely twenty beautiful but with a taste for grief
She has learnt all that there is to know about helplessness
Seeing that no caring in this world can ease her stress

Helpless she lies in rope ends and undies
Unseeing eyes fixating Eeyore's smile
"Over!" she cries as she's going unblind
Still in this life
Still in this troubled mind
The ceiling let go, the old house let her fall
Dropping her breathing to the hard cold floor
Hitting her head - a broken china soul
Red stains on porcelain and she's not there at all

Breathing she cries for rope ends and silk ties
Beautiful eyes Piglet stands shy behind
Broken she lies undead and unblind
Beautiful life
Beautiful crying young eyes
Blackened and bruised, learning how to see
Staring at her tooth - crimsoned ivory
Hours they pass this broken china soul
Red stains on porcelain
And she's not there at all...

"...and years later I would find You hanging
alas the subte irony in shortering life with an extension lead
before I could get You down I died so many times...
thoughts about running to the kitchen for a knife to cut You down
but I learned that there is no way of leaving the room
when someone is hanging from the ceiling
Your body just won't allow You that rest
You stay
to watch her face slowly turn blue
finally to let You weight add to hers
doubling the burden
awaking her to the burden
that brough her there in the first place:
LIFE"

"The Sisters of Solitude...

They love and hurt, break and are broken, the sisters of solitude
They cannot shake the dust from the ground
Cannot rise from the ashes, the sisters of solitude
They reach out to embrace the world, good and evil, weak and strong
They will settle for nothing less, the sisters of solitude
They love that they be loved, give that they be given
Hurt that they get hurt, the sisters of solitude
Hence, one loses weight by the second
Throws up what she can instead of what she cannot
Hence, two have tried to hang themselves, too strong to shut life out
Yet too weak to live it
Hence, the little one dissapears, melts into the walls, stands back
Agrees, unsatisfied
They all carry the end of the world in their chests
Heirs of sadness and irony, of settling for less, of bitter consent
Of mothers and mothers of solitude
They all carry to break free, the sisters of solitude
I fear them all so...
I love them all so..."

[Kanshisha]

hmm listen to the red hot chilli peppers song California it tells a story and i know how to play the beat on drums so thats a self improvement...!

[themagicroundabout]

Back when I was 4 and I knew the name of every dinosaur
I knew how to read ROM comic books
My babysitter said I was really smart
When the lights went out everything changed
The radio music made me feel strange
And I had a real bad dream about a gorilla in the bathroom

Back when I was 6 I took everything real serious
And I thought that every song that came on the radio
Was referring to strange sexual acts
Because they thought I wouldn't know the facts
And being small is hard and no one ever tells you how

And back when I was 8 I'd sit outside on an old milk crate
And look out at the world from the stoop across the street
The boomboxes and the hot concrete
And every Halloween they hung
A million rubber skeletons across ninth street.

Back when I was 12 or so I swear to god I never felt so low
Everyone but me was making out and eating cookies
I had more than my brain could stand
I threw my life in a garbage can
I felt so weird
I had to disappear
In crying suicide disease.

At 15 getting stoned felt good and it sent me back to childhood
And nothing ever mattered to me more than that.

But then 16 became eclipse
My brain became apocalypse
I was lost and found and I've never been the same.

Back when I was 22 I left the best thing that I knew
and I gave it up for fortune and for fame
I played like I didn't know how
I shocked the world
I wowed the crowd
But I deserved more than what they gave

Back when I was 27 still nothing had been forgiven
Clay turns into rock and rock just sits
So sitting on a crowded beach
I'd pretend I was a leach
And stick to things here and there for a little bit

Back when I was 31 I knew I'd become what I'd become
Nothing left to reveal
And nowhere else to turn
So shocked and withered dumb and bitter
And in need of a babysitter
I'd gladly let my hand fall off and burn burn burn

Back when I turned the big 4-0 I realized just how much there was to go
And I started to think that being alone forever
Wasn't where it was at
So I pulled my head out of the window
And I taught myself how to love real fast
I started talking about painting
With a woman in the laundromat

Back when I was 50 and my first wife had just left me
I felt okay and I sang my daughter
Funny little songs
And just when I thought the best was past
I fell in love for real at last
And it didn't even matter that it had taken me so long

Back when I was 63 the public rediscovered me
My comic books and records had all become rare cult-collector items
Both my parents were deceased
So they didn't see my records get re-released
And I got a dog for the first time in my life

Back when I was 74 my dog died and I got two more
I still felt really good about my daughter
And also about my girlfriend
And I'd sing and draw a little bit
But mostly I'd wake up early and sit
And hang out with the puppies and wish that I could live forever

Back when I was 87 my grandson had just turned eleven
My woman was dead
And my dogs were getting pretty old
My body didn't work quite like it should
But overall things were pretty good
I was getting decent royalties from the reissued comic books and records

Back when I was 106
My only friend
Was one goldfish
Everyone I ever knew was dead and gone
The goldfish never had a name
And the neighbors thought I was insane
And I flushed it down the toilet when I saw it floating upside down

Back when I was 128 I would sit outside on an old milk crate
And look out at the world from the stoop across the street
The boomboxes and the hot concrete
And every Halloween they hung
A million rubber skeletons across 9th street
Every Halloween they hung
A million rubber skeletons
Every Halloween they hung
A million rubber skeletons
Every Halloween they hung
A million rubber skeletons

And most other songs by Jeffrey Lewis, too. =D

[Burtsplurt]

Good choice, Jowy. That song is amazing.

Joanna Newsom - Monkey & Bear
A deceitful monkey and a dancing bear escape from captivity on a farm. In order to eat, the monkey convinces the bear to continue dancing in order to provide food, promising her that soon they will be in a land of plenty. So she dances for the children in a local village. One night the bear went away from the camp at night to bathe in the seaside caverns (maybe so she wouldn't be so scary to the children), and that scared the monkey, because he was afraid of spelunking down in those caves. The bear went far out, however, and didn't come back. Seemingly on purpose.

I would post the lyrics, but it's long, albeit comparatively short compared to some songs on the album.

[Kris_A]

Of Montreal - Du Og Meg of course

She fell in love with a boy
Who spoke a second language
and who lived across the ocean in the evil empire

He awoke her sleeping heart
and swept away the darkness
and acute fear of flying couldn't keep her away
ooh ooh ooh

She landed on her feet
and joined his fledgling rock group
as they toured the evil empire
selling t shirts at the shows

She taught him what was real
she taught him he was okay
that his thoughts were not just rubbish
that he had something good to give

Still his heart was so ambivalent and homesick
of her he was never sure
She gave in so sweetly that the spirit said
boy you better go run to her

So when she split her hopped on a plan
with his parents and his brother
he told her that he loved her
they were married in the summer
ooh ooh ooh

[Jebus]

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop...you know the place...Well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy...except of course for the undeniable fact that every single morning my
mother would make me a big ol' bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast.

Dawww!! Big bowl of sauerkraut!
Every single mornin'! It was driving me crazy.

I said to my mom, I said, "Hey, mom, what's up with all the sauerkraut?" And my dear, sweet mother, she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train. And she leaned right down next to me, and she said, "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!" And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth and force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was 26 and a half years old.

That's when I swore that someday, someday I would get outta that basement and travel to a magical, far away place, where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer, and the towels are oh so fluffy! Where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long, and anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel!

Wocka wocka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn't long at all before my dream came true. Because the very next day, a local radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt. I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize. That's right, a first class, one-way ticket...

to Albuquerque! Albuquerque!

Oh yeah. You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before, and I gotta tell ya, it was really great... except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor. And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time. The flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts, and the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore...and, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out, and we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died. Except for me. You know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position
Had my tray table up
And my seat back in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha. Ah-ha-ha. Aahhh. So I crawled from the twisted, burnin' wreckage, I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days, draggin' along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag and my tenor saxophone and my 12-pound bowlin' ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel. But finally I arrived at the world famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn where the towels are oh so fluffy! And you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna. It's OK, they're clean.

Well, I checked into my room, and I turned down the A/C, and I turned on the SpectraVision, and I'm just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow that I love so very, very much, when suddenly there's a knock on the door. Well, now, who could that be?

I say, "Who is it?" No answer.
"Who is it?" There's no answer.
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not sayin' anything.
So finally, I go over and I open the door, and just as I suspected, it's some big, fat hermaphrodite with a flock of seagulls, haircut, and only one nostril. Oh, man, I hate it when I'm right.

So, anyway, he bursts into my room, and he grabs my lucky snorkel, and I'm like, "Hey, you can't have that! That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me."

And he's like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And he's like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'kay!"

So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus, and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows, and I took out his appendix and he gave a colonic irrigation, yes indeed, you better believe it. And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook. And twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice. And you know what it said? I'll tell ya what it said! It said:

"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator.
If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.
If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator."

In Albuquerque! Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest, I would not sleep for an instant, until the one-nostrilled man was brought to justice. But first, I decided to buy some donuts.

So I got in my car, and I drove over to the donut shop, and I walked on up to the guy behind the counter and he says, "Yeah, whaddaya want??"

I said, "You got any glazed donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're outta glazed donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
He said, "No, we're outta cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any apple fritters?"
He said, "No, we're outta apple fritters!"
I said, "You got any bear claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, I'll go check."

"No, we're outta bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in that case...in that case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving crazed weasels."
I said, "OK, I'll take that."

So he hands me the box, and I open up the lid, and the weasels jump out and they immediately latch onto my face and start bitin' me all over. Oh, man, they were just goin' nuts! They were tearin' me apart! You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started goin' through my head. I believe it went a little somethin' like this:

DOH! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me! Ohhh! No, get 'em off, get 'em off! Oh, oh God, oh God! Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God! Ah, AaaaaaahhhhhhhhhOhhhhhhhhhh!

I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face, wavin' my arms all around and just runnin', runnin', runnin' like a constipated wiener dog. And as luck would have it, that's exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams. Her name was Zelda. She was a calligraphy enthusiast, with a slight overbite, and hair the color of strained peaches. I'll never forget the very first thing she said to me. She said, "Hey, you've got weasels on your face."

That's when I knew it was true love. We were inseparable after that. Aw, we ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss. The world was our burrito. So we got married, and we bought us a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly. Oh we were so very, very, very happy, oh yeah. But then, one fateful night, Zelda said to me, she said, "Sweetie-pumpkin? Do you wanna join the Columbia Record Club?" I said, "Woah! Hold on now, baby! I'm just not ready for that kind of a commitment!"

So we broke up, and I never saw her again, but that's just the way things go...

In Albuquerque! Albuquerque!

Anyway, things really started lookin' up for me, because about a week later, I finally achieved my lifelong dream. That's right, I got me a part-time job at the Sizzler! I even made employee of the month after I put out that grease fire with my face. Aw yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that. I was gettin' a lot of attitude.

OK, like one time, I was out in the parkin' lot, tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil, when I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself. So I-I say to him, I say, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?" And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw."

So I did.

And then he gets all indignant on me! He's like, "Hey, man, I was just being sarcastic!" Well, that's just great. How was I supposed to know that? I'm not a mind reader, for cryin' out loud. Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname - Torso-Boy! So what's he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote. This guy comes up to me on the street and he tells me he hasn't had a bite in three days. Well, I knew what he meant, but just to be funny, I took a big bite out of his jugular vein. And he's yelling and screaming and bleeding all over, and I'm like, "Hey, come on, don't you get it?" But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!" You know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation. Man, some people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...um...where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway, I-I know it's kind of a roundabout way of saying it, but, I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is...

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really tryin' to say. And, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an existential quandry, full of loathing and self-doubt and wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence, at least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this crazy ol' mixed-up universe of ours, there's still a little place...

called Albuquerque! Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I said A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
.... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!
*burp*
heh heh heh heh

<3 Weird Al

[Old Manus]

Ice Cube - It Was A Good Day

The song's music video and the lyrics itself, tell a story about how one man (Ice Cube), surprisingly enjoys a good day in South Central Los Angeles, which came not often enough on the streets of LA. "Waking up in the morning, gotta thank God...no barking from the dog, no smog...nobody I know got killed in South Central LA, today was a good Day...today I didn't even have to use my AK," are some examples of the lyrics.

Frank Sinatra - It Was a Very Good Year is good too. Just realised they have a similar name :chef:

[Martyr]

One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer, by George Thoroughgood & The Destroyers.

I found the lyrics on the first MSN search, and didn't read through them. But they oughta be accurate. This isn't rap we're dealing with:

Wanna tell you a story,
About the house-man blues
I come home one Friday,
Had to tell the landlady I'd-a lost my job
She said that don't confront me,
Long as I get my money next Friday
Now next Friday come I didn't get the rent,
And out the door I went

So I goes to the landlady,
I said, "You let me slide?"
I'll have the rent for you in a month.
Next I don't know
So said let me slide it on you know people,
I notice when I come home in the evening
She ain't got nothing nice to say to me,
But for five year she was so nice
Loh' she was lovy-dovy,
I come home one particular evening
The landlady said, "You got the rent money yet?",
I said, "No, can't find no job"
Therefore I ain't got no money to pay the rent
She said "I don't believe you're tryin' to find no job"
Said "I seen you today you was standin' on a corner,
Leaning up against a post"
I said "But I'm tired, I've been walkin' all day"
She said "That don't confront me,
Long as I get my money next Friday"
Now next Friday come I didn't have the rent,
And out the door I went

So I go down the streets,
Down to my good friend's house
I said "Look man I'm outdoors you know,
Can I stay with you maybe a couple days?"
He said "Let me go and ask my wife"
He come out of the house,
I could see it in his face
I know that was no
He said "I don't know man, ah she kinda funny, you know"
I said "I know, everybody funny, now you funny too"
So I go back home
I tell the landlady I got a job, I'm gonna pay the rent
She said "Yeah?" I said "Oh yeah"
And then she was so nice,
Loh' she was lovy-dovy
So I go in my room, pack up my things and I go,
I slip on out the back door and down the streets I go
She a-howlin' about the front rent, she'll be lucky to get any back rent,
She ain't gonna get none of it
So I stop in the local bar you know people,
I go to the bar, I ring my coat, I call the bartender
Said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose,
Need me a triple shot of that juice
Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

But I'm sitting now at the bar,
I'm getting drunk, I'm feelin' mellow
I'm drinkin' bourbon, I'm drinkin' scotch, I'm drinkin' beer
Looked down the bar, here come the bartender
I said "Look man, come down here"
So what you want?

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No I ain't seen my baby since the night before last,
Gotta get a drink man I'm gonna get gassed
Gonna get high man I ain't had enough,
Need me a triple shot of that stuff
Gonna get drunk won't you listen right here,
I want one bourbon, one shot and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

Now by this time I'm plenty high,
You know when your mouth a-getting dry you're plenty high
Looked down the bar I say to my bartender
I said "Look man, come down here", he got down there
So what you want this time?
I said "Look man, a-what time is it?"
He said "The clock on the wall say three o'clock
Last call for alcohol, so what you need?"

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
No I ain't seen my baby since a nigh' and a week,
Gotta get drunk man till I can't even speak
Gonna get high man listen to me,
One drink ain't enough Jack you better make it three
I wanna get drunk I'm gonna make it real clear,
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

[Ryth]

We are two mariners
Our ships' sole survivors
In this belly of a whale

Its ribs our ceiling beams
Its guts our carpeting
I guess we have some time to kill

You may not remember me
I was a child of three
And you, a lad of eighteen

But I remember you
And I will relate to you
How our histories interweave

At the time you were
A rake and a roustabout
Spending all your money
On the whores and hounds
Oh Ohhhhh

You had a charming air
All cheap and debonair
My widowed mother found so sweet

And so she took you in
Her sheets still warm with him
Now filled with filth and foul disease

As time wore on you proved
A debt-ridden drunken mess
Leaving my mother
A poor consumptive wretch
Oh Ohhhhh

And then you disappeared
Your gambling arrears
The only thing you left behind

And then the magistrate
Reclaimed our small estate
And my poor mother lost her mind

Then one day in spring
My dear sweet mother died
But before she did
I took her hand as she, dying, cried:
Oh Ohhhhh

"Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave
*sigh*"

It took me fifteen years
To swallow all my tears
Among the urchins in the street

Until a priory
Took pity and hired me
To keep their vestry nice and neat

But never once in the employ
Of these holy men
Did I ever once turn my mind
From the thought of revenge
Oh Ohhhhh

One night I overheard
The Prior exchanging words
With a penitent whaler from the sea

The captain of his ship
Who matched you toe to tip
Was known for wanton cruelty

The following day
I shipped to sea
With a privateer

And in the whistle
Of the wind
I could almost hear...
Oh Ohhhhh

"Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave

"There is one thing I must say to you
As you sail across the sea
Always, your mother will watch over you
As you avenge this wicked deed"

[haunting, sailor-esque musical interlude lead by mandolin, accordion and tuba]

And then that fateful night
We had you in eye sight
After twenty months at sea

Your starboard flank abeam
I was getting my muskets clean
When came this rumbling from beneath

The ocean shook
The sky went black
And the captain quailed

And before us grew
The angry jaws
Of a giant whale

[instrumental noise]
Oh Ohhhhhhhhhh
[screaming]
Ohhhhh
[screaming]

Don't know how I survived
The crew all was chewed alive
I must have slipped between his teeth

But, O! What providence!
What divine intelligence!
That you should survive
As well as me

It gives my heart
Great joy
To see your eyes fill with fear

So lean in close
And I will whisper
The last words you'll hear
Ohh Ohhhhh

<3

Yes. <3