At the beginning of my current relationship, I made it clear to my girlfriend that I do not like ultimatums and will not put up with them if given one. Forcing me to choose between two things is stupid. I'd rather just talk about it and discuss the problem, dealing with it that way then completely rejecting one thing or another from my life.
Ultimatums shouldn't factor into relationships. Talk should be all that is necessary to keep one together.
When your husband or girlfriend is a complete addict then its pretty hard to have a reasonable conversation when hes too busy trying to kill that evil Warlord, or whatever they call them in WOW. He won't Listen.
If they were together for six years, it was one of those things were she probably yelled at him constantly, but WoW is an amazing thing.
Before I made the "When I divorce you, it's going to be because of WoW" like a couple of months ago to my husband, I've been on my husbands ass to quit or to play less since he started in early 08.
When people play WoW, and are as much into it as that guy is, and my husband was, you can probably tell them you're going to go slit your wrists and they not even budge because they don't hear you.
Either way, I highly doubt that this wasn't a silent killer, where she just hated it and then said "F you it's WoW or me". I know what it feels like to believe that the person you're married to loves a computer more than they love you because of the amount of time and attention put into it, and it's enraging.
I don't think it was strictly WoW's fault as the article leads it to believe. If they were married for 6 years and a game could come in the way there was obviously some problems with the guy/relationship before hand.
WoW wasn't the reason, it was the tool, but not the reason. You can't blame an ax for an ax murderer.
But I don't like given two choices and to pick :/ I like lots of things why to i have to split stuff.
that to me sounds awfully selfish. no relationship is going to be without give or take. and yes, there will be a time where you have to say "hey, its either A or B, take it or leave it". Because they can be two totally different paths that you two are on.
She obviously wanted a family. he obviously wanted WoW 24/7. there is no compromise with those two choices, unless one was to give up their position
plus, talk is cheap, action is better.
That website is depressing. All the comments are like "Yeah my decade long marriage is ending now thanks to WoW". My dad started playing it and got divorced soon after because he wouldn't do anything else. I got the 10 day trial of WoW and could see how it's fun and all, but I didn't feel like smurfing around with all of it. It was too much work for me to bother with. I can't imagine getting so addicted it ruins a relationship.
Anyway, ultimatums... I wouldn't present one. If he did, I would do whatever he wanted, though. That's how I roll. :moo:
Gaming addiction is a serious problem.
take my brother for instance.
He was a really successful chef at a 4star hotel, he got employee of the year, he was popular with everyone and a real laugh. but over a year and a half ago he quit his job and started playing RuinScape and now World of War Craft, constantly, now he's lost all his spark and has really bad skin, never gets out of bed until 2 ish, and plays constantly.
when my mum who is the sole provider for our family asks him to get a job or to go to college or even to think about what he wants to do next he just gives sarcy comments.
I'm at Uni and i work to help out, but he shows no guilt that he gives nothing to the household.
I miss my brother and its not healthy for him but nothing works. If he would just cut down and fullfill other aspects of life it wouldn't be so bad. Its a waste of time, sure for a bit of fun or escapism or relaxation but when it goes beyond that its hard for the people who care about them
I f'in hate Ultimatums.
Whenever someone gives me one I know the choice that they want me to take, but all I think is "How dare you make me pick" and so I will pick the wrong choice.....But then again, I'm not addicted to online games. I always find that they quickly begin to grind and since you can't really complete an online game, theres no end. Where as FF games grind a bit but you know that eventually you will get to the end and complete it.
not sure i completely comprehend the choosing the option that the person giving them doesn't want you to take out of spite or annoyance. I mean if you've done something to result in someone being so frustrated that they give you an ultimatum then why not use it as a chance to reflect upon yourself. Maybe then you could make an informed decision.
Because if you think Ultimatums are lame or immature or something responding in such a way seems to be "as bad" as giving an ultimatum.
Your right, it is spiteful picking the wrong choice just to be annoying, but I just can't control myself. But to be honest, the ultimatums im given aren't "Its me or the games" its usually something where I don't care about which route I take...silly stuff really.
But isn't giving someone two choices which only has one right answer similar to blackmail. Thats another reason why I dont like it.
If someone gives me an ultimatum that involves them then unless it's really serious then I wouldn't choose them.
The messenger is standing at the gate
Ready to let go
Ready for the crush
Too late for whispers
Too late for the blush
The past is mercy
When the future is aglow
If you're going to lay down an ultimatum then don't be surprised if it goes against you.
I don't think I've ever given someone one, really. I can think of perhaps one occasion, but at that point it really was a last resort. I think as a last resort, as seems to be the case with the lady in the article, then they're a good thing. Shouldn't be brandished willy-nilly though.
Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine.