Invite him in for some tea

Just stand there and stare because he can't come in unless I say so anyway

Ask if he's accepted the Lord as his saviour

Beg to be turned in to a vampire. You've heard they have a good night social life

Poke him with a stick

Kill him with the stake I conveniently had next to the door

Take a picture and post it to social media

Go back to bed

Hug him