I would force my Chocobo into laying egg after egg until I have an army. I would form a band of ninja-chocobo-knight-whatevers to take down all these pirate loving EoFFers.

If lucky enough to get a golden Chocobo, I would sell his ass to the zoo for lots and lots of money.

As for the moogle, I would hit his little poof pom and watch it sway back and forth, leading to endless nights of amusement.