The never answered questions...

[Kawaii Ryûkishi]

There's no applicable answer, because the subject of the question is all in your head. Perhaps take a few steps back from the fumes of whatever it is you're burning in sacrifice at the altar of a video game character.

After all these years, why hasn't Square Enix ever fixed their official spellings of "Paradin," "Rydia," and "Gilbart"?

[Takara]

They're too busy making money and creating ten million spin-offs of FFVII.

Why do people always tell me Rosa is a bigger damsel-in-distress than Rinoa even when presented with evidence of the contrary?

[KoShiatar]

Because they tend to consider Rinoa stronger just basign themselves on graphics. But they're horribly wrong.

Who invented such silly spells as Pig and Frog, and for what purpose?

[Sir Lancealot]

Don't know about Pig, but Quina made Toad so he/she/it could eat them.

Why doesn't eat said Pigs and Toads?

[Evastio]

Because pigs are in the form of bacon when they are eaten and toads are better swallowed than chewed and eaten.

Why did they change Virus' name to Bio if Virus sounds so much better?

[KoShiatar]

Because it was the period that everybody feared bird flu.
Did the dancer in Baron ultimately try to seduce Cecil?

[Kawaii Ryûkishi]

She did try, but Cecil was already too occupied with Cid's daughter to pay much attention.

Speaking of Cid, before he leaps off the Enterprise and explodes himself, why does he decide his final words should be telling Cecil to repeatedly impregnate Rosa?

[KoShiatar]

Because he believes in the values of enlarged family.
Why did Cid's wife choose him?

[Takara]

Cid was never married; he just met that drunk chick at the Brothel Pub in Troia, and... well, the rest of the story is not appropriate for a family forum.

Does Cecil have chest hair?

[arcanedude34]

Nobody's ever dared to check, but a crack squad of Cids say no.

How many times must Cecil dye his hair?

[KoShiatar]

He does not. Actually, his hair is purple because of his Lunarian heritage.

Apart from hair color, what else is different in Lunarians that is not immediately apparent to sight?

[Evastio]

They live 8 times longer than humans and they have more advanced brains.

Why do the Mysidians turn Cecil back into a human when he's a frog or a pig when they hate him?

[Takara]

They're drunk. The only Mysidian who isn't, apart from the Elder and the twins is the barmaid that poisons Cecil.

How did Tellah travel to Mt. Ordeal from Damcyan?

[Evastio]

He used his Teleport/Exit spell to go there. Although it sounds impossible Rosa practically did the same thing going from the Tower of Zot to Baron Castle.

Why doesn't Warp do anything in battles?

[arcanedude34]

It siphons all the love out of the universe into Cid's beard to magnify it's awesomeness twofold.

Someone take my question.