The Unknown Guru woke up with a start, sweating from a crazy dream. They were searching for Coolest Thing of all Time AKA a Weedwacker, which was rumored to be located at the internets. Lucky for The Unknown Guru, they had recruited the help of The Captain and The Summoner of Leviathan as they both had experience making things. The Unknown Guru grabbed their trusty royal garments then tossed The Captain a toe of a rat and The Summoner of Leviathan a heart, thrice broken.

Our grumpy group of adventurers set off for the internets with a rousing cry of "Cram it, Proto!" On the way The Captain fell, injuring their right nostril. The Summoner of Leviathan told The Captain they should ride on the flying squirrel that they brought to carry their supplies, but The Captain ate too much corn before they left and was afraid they would get sick. So The Unknown Guru and The Summoner of Leviathan left The Captain with a TV(Hey, this is a dream, remember?) so they could watch Alf while they waited at a witches convention.

After a long trek, The Unknown Guru and The Summoner of Leviathan finally arrived at the internets, which is located in Mordor. Upon entering the internets, The Unknown Guru and The Summoner of Leviathan found themselves in the cellar, where The Man was eating a ludicrously titanic taco. The Unknown Guru asked The Man where they could find the Coolest Thing of all Time AKA a Weedwacker. The Man took a drink of their Fresca, made a gingerbread house and pointed to the left. So The Unknown Guru and The Summoner of Leviathan continued into the next room, where they found The Fonz and their pet field mouse guarding the Coolest Thing of all Time AKA a Weedwacker with a kitty cat. The Unknown Guru lept into action at once, crying out "lol wut!" and swinging their royal garments at The Fonz's wenus. And that's when The Unknown Guru awoke. Did they win? Did The Captain ever make it back home? Does The Man's mother know they made a gingerbread house? Now no one will ever know...