Do you have any weird fetishes?

[Madame Adequate]

No and yes, respectively.

Basically, if it absolutely humiliates and/or harms the other person, I am into it.

My boyfriend is into the exact opposite (being humiliated and harmed), you should hook up with him.

My turn-offs include penises and British accents.

I only have one of those. Oh, and do want electric play!

I'm amazed no-one's mentioned Bley's Crotch...

That's because the thread's about fetishes, not completely normal things that all sane people are aroused by.