I have a crush on every girl at this forum.
I sort of keep a shrine to you all in my bedroom, featuring printed out photos, and also some dolls I made of you. Sometimes my parents come in and are like "Paul, when are you going to stop fantasising about these internet girls and get yourself a real girlfriend?" and I say "SHUT UP MUM YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND NONE OF YOU DO! I HATE YOU!"
My life is pretty great.