Last time on "The Ciddies Show", young Psychotic was forced to do the speech for Best Artist because nobody else wanted to do it. However, triumph came out of adversity, and
the greatest speech ever written for the Ciddies (I am very modest) was produced. 6 months down the line, it was time to return into what I like to call
THE ART ZONE!!
Psychotic: First up, let's take a peek at black orb's Lenna Monk, and here is a handy link.
http://forums.eyesonff.com/attachmen...3&d=1227809400
Rantzien: That was a very handy link.
Psychotic: And I'm glad you thought so.
Psychotic: The first thing that strikes me are her shoes.
Psychotic: Those are the kind of shoes you'd wear if you want to run for president.
Rantzien: They seem ready to strike, indeed.
Cz: No toe cleavage, I see.
Cz: It is so nice to see a woman with some modesty.
Psychotic: She looks to be outraged that I would dare peek at her frilled undergarments.
Rantzien: I would be too, if my undergarments were frilled.
Rantzien: And you were peeking.
Psychotic: I didn't do it on purpose. It just sort of happened.
Cz: If she weren't striking such a ridiculous pose, they wouldn't be on show to begin with.
Rantzien: This is a very nice piece, either way. Just look at all those scales!
Rantzien: Do any of you happen to know how many there are?
Psychotic: No, but I think that dragon would make an awful mess of any rug with all the shedding going on.
Cz: I don't think that many hosts would dare take the issue up with it, though.
Rantzien: Imagine the claw marks it would make on the furniture!
Psychotic: I'm wondering what that red and blue thing around its neck is, and how much damage it would do to my fine porcelain.
Cz: Ample damage, I suspect.
Cz: Perhaps it would be best to invite this beast to outdoor functions only.
Rantzien: Yes. But not in the pool.
Psychotic: That would be a disaster!
Psychotic: The next piece of artwork for us all to take a look at is rising Dutch superstar Pete for President's curiously titled "landscapes-wattedoen-compleetblendpoging3" which may be found here.
http://forums.eyesonff.com/attachmen...endpoging3.jpg
Cz: That curious title makes me curious!
Psychotic: What can we interpret from the title?
Rantzien: That the blend poging is complete, perhaps?
Psychotic: I must say, it reminds me of those shopping channels (I don't watch them frequently; think no less of me) where they are advertising some product, and the smiling lady holding it carries on smiling as smooth-voiced guy says "Now with Complete Blend Poging! 3!"
Cz: I would definitely buy this picture while stocks lasted.
Psychotic: It is availiable for a limited time only!
Cz: Then I should act now!
Psychotic: And not delay!
Psychotic: What do we think is going on in the picture itself?
Cz: I am particularly intrigued by the large ship sailing into port, with a tree protruding from its deck.
Rantzien: There seems to be a flamingo in the tree. Possibly the captain of the ship!
Cz: And I cannot help but notice that the trees upon the land itself are bare. Perhaps they have had to resort to importing their foliage?
Psychotic: I thought that maybe the ents had formed a navy.
Psychotic: Crooked SmokeStack Town made the same mistake Saruman did with all those dead trees.
Cz: There are no zeppelins in Middle Earth, you clod. >=(
Psychotic: Oh, right. Those only exist in early 20th Century Germany and Final Fantasy. So we've at least narrowed it down that far!
Rantzien: What might that thing in the tree on the cliff be?
Rantzien: A crashed satellite?
Psychotic: A telescope?
Rantzien: Superman?
Cz: All three?
Psychotic: Well, that's that mystery solved!
Rantzien: Good work, lads.
Psychotic: Omega Weapon, as drawn by Rocket Edge, is the next artwork to be examined. Here's the all-important link!
Eyes on Final Fantasy FanArt - Omega Weapon - Powered by PhotoPost
Psychotic: I think those spikes on his head are most incovenient.
Psychotic: I mean sure, Omega Weapon, you look cool, but you have to duck to enter rooms.
Cz: I suppose we all have to make sacrifices to look good.
Rantzien: Quite so! His wings seem a bit defect, too.
Cz: I'm rather worried by the sharp protrusions around the pelvic region as well.
Psychotic: They probably come in handy for opening cans and other menial tasks.
Rantzien: What a party trick that would be!
Cz: Beautifully shaded, though.
Rantzien: I'm a little curious about the fingers on the very left.
Psychotic: He's got his fists in tight balls. Looks like he's ready for a brawlin'!
Rantzien: I wonder if he knows four young orphans are coming to kick his ass.
Cz: I hope so. Otherwise he's pretty silly for parading around in all that armour.
Psychotic: Oh! You meant the real fingers. I thought you meant his fingers. What a fool I am!
Psychotic: And I don't know. He looks rather handsome...
Psychotic: Debonair, I might even say.
Rantzien: Maybe he's just looking for some company.
Cz: To each his own. I wouldn't be very impressed if he showed up at my house to pick up my daughter, is all I'm saying.
Psychotic: Hello scrumpleberry! Let's take a look at what you like to call "Feathers At Last"
http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k2...hersatlast.jpg
Rantzien: At last, some feathers!
Psychotic: Blimey! It's all action here, isn't it? There's a girl surfing into town with a glowing purple orb, and there's freckles and feathers and some lycra shorts and goodness knows what else!
Rantzien: It's like Final Fantasy I, Star Trek and Deperate Housewives combined.
Cz: And then made very, very purple.
Psychotic: This girl is pretty sloppy with her dress sense. Her earrings don't even match!
Cz: Nor do her eyebrows.
Cz: But I suppose she can surf on magic, so I give her an 8.
Psychotic: Are those the same shoes that Lenna MONK was wearing earlier?
Rantzien: This woman has likely stolen all of her gear, judging by the sinister look on her face.
Cz: And the stolen gear on her feet.
Psychotic: I hope she at least left Lenna with her frilly undergarments.
Cz: Hang on, I'll go back and check.
Psychotic: With those lycra shorts, it'd leave an awful VPL!
Cz: Yeah, it's cool.
Psychotic: At least surfing orb girl has some decency.
Rantzien: Thank heavens.
Cz: What is that thing, anyway?
Psychotic: I'm not entirely sure. It looks to be sucking one of her fingers in.
Cz: I can't help thinking that it might be a Puffskein.
Cz: Either that or she is cupping one of her breasts provocatively.
Psychotic: One of her glowing, radioactive breasts.
Rantzien: I think it looks a bit like a severed head, personally.
Psychotic: It could be Lenna's. It matches her hair colour!
Cz: Another mystery solved. Boy, we're on a roll today!
Psychotic: That we are. We have one final mystery to solve, however. Last but not least, proudly representing Nuneaton, it's themagicroundabout.
http://fc76.deviantart.com/fs30/f/20...beaulivres.jpg Here's a violet ink creation of Audrey Hepburn.
Cz: Gosh, these women just keep getting purpler and purpler.
Psychotic: Yes, I am noticing a rising purple theme in the Artist's Forum.
Psychotic: Now, while it's awfully good of Audrey Hepburn to release those birds and butterflies from that bottle, the mystery is: Who put them in there in the first place, and why?
Rantzien: Clark Gable?
Psychotic: Do you think Clark Gable is also responsible for the amputation of her right arm?
Cz: No doubt about it.
Cz: She's looking awfully composed, despite all this.
Rantzien: I think she is actually quite decomposed these days, anyway.
Psychotic: She's biding her time. Soon she will have her revenge on that arm-stealing butterfly-molesting Clark Gable.
Psychotic: Incidentally, did you know that if you molest a butterfly in California, you have to pay a $500 fine?
Cz: It's $600 now. They put it up in September.
Psychotic: Is nothing safe from the credit crunch?
Rantzien: What about butterfly porn?
Psychotic: Is there butterfly porn?
Rantzien: Er, don't ask me. >_>
Cz: If there isn't, I'm sure the kind denizens of the Artist's Forum will be able to furnish us with some.
Psychotic: On that note, I feel it best to draw this high brow discussion to an end.
Psychotic: I wish luck to all the finalists, and may the winner create some butterfly porn for us.
Psychotic: By us I mean Rantzien.
Cz: That rascal!
Rantzien: I hope someone wins soon.
Psychotic: Gentlemen, it has been an honour, and I am currently negotiating rights to a series of "Three Guys Discuss Some Art" to be comissioned for BBC2.
Rantzien: Good luck!
Cz: Godspeed!
Originally Posted by Demon Dude
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