My first roommate was my sister I guess. She's okay.

My second roommate ever was Danielle from Chappaqua, NY. She was a sluuuuuuuuuut. One night we'd left our windows open and she went out. I woke up later to the sound of the blinds banging against the window. I rolled over to fix it and she is drunk off her ass riding some dude for all she's worth, saying "I am so sick. I'm gonna puke," and he says "I'm almost there baby."

This went on for four hours. I was in and out. In the end he gets up, puts on his pants and says "I feel sorry for your roommate."

I rolled over and said "I feel sorry for your dick, dude." That scared the out of him.

My second roommate was Pakonis. She is one of the best people I've ever met. I love her.

My third roommate was Kelly. She was 17, WASPy, didn't drink. I was 20. We met when I came in drunk. But I'd brought a fan and we didn't have A/C so we were cool, I guess? She was weird.

My fourth roommate was Norjai. She could've broken me in two but we both loved top model.

My fifth roommate was Shatericka. She's adorable and hilarious. She likes the Lion King and vodka. I liked her.

After that I had no more roommates. I lived alone.