Almost 100% of brides I talk to when I ask about the proposal and whether or not they were surprised told me that they were surprised by when it happened, and how it happened, but not that it actually happened.

IE: They knew that a formal proposal was on the way but they didn't know that it would take place during class hours, in front of a room of 1st graders, and that Steve Young from the 49ers (bride's FAVORITE team) would walk in with a signed jersey and tell her that her boyfriend has a "very special question" to ask her. Or that it would happen in front of a freakin' castle while in France. etc. etc. A good friend of mine got engaged while on a surprise trip to Hawaii her boyfriend planned for her. She knew it was coming, but I'm sure it was still so much fun for her to go along with anyway.

So this idea that people are getting married in a, "oh, I never thought about this happening!" sort of way and that's the reason why you would turn up your nose at proposals is kinda... I dunno. That's not really how it happens in the real world as far as my experience goes. One of my most recent brides told me that she knew that the proposal was coming within the week, but didn't know the specific date.

I guess you can wonder why you need to make a big to do about a "formal" proposal when you've already had a thorough conversation about marriage. But what's wrong with having a little fun with grand gestures of love? Something out of the ordinary and beautiful and personal. It makes for a great story, that's for sure. And life should be full of great stories. I will never get sick of hearing proposal stories.