This sounds like my life, if you remove the "ex" part
I didn't actually break up with her but there was an icy glare involved and a threat to remove her from my car while driving on the interstate.

If I don't cut my hair after two weeks, it's too long. My bangs are in my eyes, sides cover my ears, and the back is almost down to my shoulders. You lucky bastards and your short growth or high tolerance for long hair.

Also for the guys of this forum:

Do you find it a little awkward and/or feel like a creep when the stylist or what have you positions herself so you are more or less staring directly at her tits the entire time?