Maybe I can give insight or maybe my insight is irrelevant:

My mother used to nag (well she still does but) - and I do not like to be nagged. I do what I like because somebody told me that I was a self-controlled autonomous individual. Even if mom said explicitly "i gave birth to you so you would listen to me" I would rebel and not listen.

Also the only thing mom ever says to me is don't do this. and don't do that. i work during the day and relax by playing video games at night. sometimes i watch movies and learn on youtube but my brain can only absorb so much 'productive' activity before it cries.

Here is where the disconnect happens - mom's dad died when she was 17 so she has worked very hard to get to where she is. Yet I don't actively 'recognize' this and instead I virtue-lize dad because he gave up being a god (ex olympian high ranking officer at the sport he spent most of his life perfecting) just to have grumpy selfish spoiled worthless me.

I see mom as an equal. I see dad as a god. So when god speaks I listen.

Hope this helps.