Knock Knock

[Jiro]

As some of you speedy facebook pals of mine are already aware, I'm currently sitting on my lawn with my laptop out because my house keys are AWOL and nobody is home. Yay for wireless internet, right?

Have you ever been locked out of your house? Did you break in? Why were you locked out?!

Discuss being locked out of your house. Also, discuss the wonders of wireless internet. Thank smurf for that.

[APolaris]

I thought this thread was going to be a collection of terrible knock-knock jokes and was preparing my list of equally terrible "yo mama" jokes.

[fire_of_avalon]

So this one time I locked my keys in the old subaru but we always left the trunk unlocked so I knew I could dive in after them.

Only problem is at the time I was wearing a skirt and stilettos... and my friends were asses and wouldn't get them for me. So there's a video somewhere of me climbing in through the hatch, trying to stretch over the seat, losing my balance and falling into the backseat on my head with the my legal in the air.

Then one time my cousin's ex locked his keys in his truck so I had to climb in through the back window to get them.

And then one time I had to pop the screen at my old house, pry the window open and climb into a room. That was fun. Also I lock my keys in my office a lot and have to break in.

[Raian the Fallen]

I thought this thread was going to be a collection of terrible knock-knock jokes and was preparing my list of equally terrible "yo mama" jokes.

This.

And thankfully, since there's usually always someone home, I usually never get locked out. Unless everyone's out, and I decide to come home early. :P

[NorthernChaosGod]

I've locked myself out of the house a couple times, but only when I duck out for something quick so my window is still open and I just climb into my room.

I did lock myself out of my car once and had to wait for my mom to come with the extra key.

[Pike]

I've locked myself out of my car a couple of times. Funny story about one of those times: Once while at university I parked in a no-parking zone. It was only going to be for a few minutes-- famous last words, right? Anyways my mom drives up with the extra key right as a policeman is writing me up a ticket. Yeah, fun times.

[Peegee]

One time after a night of drinking my roommate took my key and said 'okay mike you stay right here we'll be back' and took off to bring their car around. A few minutes later another friend saw me goofing around and too drunk for my own good and told me to come along with her in her taxicab.

So she drops me off at her place and not wanting to pay money for fare I got out of the cab and started to walk home.

here's a map



I had to cut through a hospital, a college, a baseball diamond, some wetlands, and then I'll be safe. Yay.

So off I trekked. I made it past the hospital with no issue but as I was making my way around the college some kids went up and asked me if I had any weed on me. I wasn't in the mood so I told them I didn't have anything. I then walked around and started climbing the fence in the baseball diamond.

That was when I realized those guys were following me.

ohshiohshiohshi what do I do? I KNOW I'll go to a coffee shop! It's a left turn instead of a right turn at the end of the red line, so I could easily make it. I walk into the wetlands and start walking. Right into a huge pool of water. We're talking waist deep. Yay. No hiding at a coffee shop for me. I jumped my backyard fence and that's when it hit me. I'll let you recount the events in the night. Here's a hint. Read the first sentence again.

How the hell was I supposed to go back in the house? I had walked home and my roommates were still not home yet. The front door was locked. I decided to stop worrying about gibberish and started to sleep on my deck.

Some time later i woke up. It was raining on me. This night was awesome. Grumbling, I grabbed my backyard door and flung it open.

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I had enough of this. My roommates later found me passed out on the living room floor in a puddle of bog and rain water. Yay classy.

[Jiro]

Moral of the story: sleep at your friend's place.

[Peegee]

Moral of the story: sleep at your friend's place.

I think she was off to get laid or something. Besides I was drunk.

[Shlup]

I don't recall ever being locked out of my house... I've never lost or forgotten my keys, despite my chronic absentmindedness. For my current house, I don't usually even bring my keys with me--I just use the garage, which has a code.

[Yar]

I lock myself out all the damn time. I break in though heh

[Iceglow]

At my mom's I used to lock myself out regularly mostly because first thing in the morning leaving the house I'd simply grab my coat and not check my pockets so if my sister had "borrowed" my keys, I was without them.

When I lived in Canning Town, I got locked out of my room once (they had yale locks on all the bedroom doors) thankfully Aga one of the girls we lived with who I got along with was also home. We ended up hanging out in her room watching videos and stuff whilst avoiding our housemates we hated in the lounge. Was nice of her because I had to wait for my ex to get home and she was working on a late close shift which meant she'd get home around 3am.

In my current address I've been locked out a grand total of 2 times. 1st time I forgot to bring my keys out with me to work, thankfully my housemates were going drinking and to the theater that night in central london. I arranged to meet up on my lunch break and collect my keys from them so I could get in to the house. The second time I got locked out, well Baloki and Zorrander tried to lock me out of my house. I live in the garage conversion on the ground floor of the house. My windows were open so I simply climbed in through it whilst they stood there tittering at the front door.

[Jiro]

Moral of the story: sleep at your friend's place.

I think she was off to get laid or something. Besides I was drunk.

Here's how I see it. You've got a few options here.

• She decides PG is a good choice, c'mere you
• You're drunk and so you just sleep in the corner, w/e, and you don't remember anything in the morning anyway

So there you have it. If she was leaving to go get some, then even better.

[Loony BoB]

Being locked out coincided with a very bad memory of mine where Danielle and I were having a troublespot in our relationship, so I was living alone for a week or so. I was waiting for the locksmith to arrive when our upstairs neighbour noticed me and had a little idle chat, I didn't really know her, but upon finding out about our situation she invited me up to her place. Since that point, she and Danielle/myself have been much more 'in touch' with each other as neighbours than we were before and that has also allowed us to hand her our spare key in case we ever get locked out again. It also helps her to feed the cat while we are overseas or anything. xD So I guess good things come out of bad situations. Yay?

Jiro: Who's there?

[Iceglow]

Moral of the story: sleep at your friend's place.

I think she was off to get laid or something. Besides I was drunk.

Here's how I see it. You've got a few options here.

• She decides PG is a good choice, c'mere you
• You're drunk and so you just sleep in the corner, w/e, and you don't remember anything in the morning anyway

So there you have it. If she was leaving to go get some, then even better.

Or there is one last option....

• PG gets raped hard by said girl using a banana in place of a strap on. He remembers this horrendous act that only MILF could enjoy and therefore commits suicide by cop after raping 20 azn school children with the long shlong of east china.