Life's misfortunes
Probably not a real misfortune, but I was unfortunate enough to have bit my own tongue today while eating. It was pretty painful and annoying to deal with, especially now that my tongue is swollen where it was bit into. Have you gone through anything similar or just as unfortunate?
Please share!
Apparently, I have been declared banished.
Had another gout flareup in the last couple of days. Pain wise, it wasn't that bad, but the joint still stiffened up pretty badly. Seems to finally be going away for real today. Glad I had leftover drugs from last time I had it!
Landing on the "Oh no! Fired!" space when you have the 100k salary, and getting the 20k salary instead.
Originally Posted by Fynn
when have i felt your dark breath
all the horrors of your fingers
take from me what i never owned and i will
fight to get my powders back from your jaws
clench harder than i remember your
hair wreathes in between my teeth and
now we can't stop here anymore i haven't the
slightest clue of where to go with your veins
EDIT: WAY TO FRIGGIN ABANDON ME HERE BALLOON
Receiving a ticket in a two hour parking zone when I had only been parked there for fifty minutes.
someone is going to feel my wrath
Getting Burns from grease at work
I murdered my little baby toe two days ago. I'm so sad about it. Stupid chair! Don't you know to get out of my way when I've been drinking??
streme Wheelie
Recognized Member
I spent an hour walking/running into town to catch the bus and I was about 10 metres away when the bus decided to just leave.
Inventing your own combat sport when you're drunk called 'Sock Wars'. Then convincing three of your friends to take part in the first official Sock Wars Tournament... then realizing that all of your friends are much better at it than you are.
I suppose being English I should have expected to be crap at my own sport.
Reading that with a little bit of sleep deprivation, I skipped a certain word because the word right next to it looked the same. After reading the rest of the post, I was very confused until I re-read it and realized you were talking about your toe.
Face
ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็༼ ຈل͜ຈ༽ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้
How do you play?
Alcohol consumption is a prerequisite.How do you play?
Two men square up against each other holding a beer-soaked sock each. The game needs a short hallway with a doorway at either end. In the 'Hallway of Combat' the men attempt to strike each other with the before-mentioned socks.
A hit to the body is worth one point with a head shot worth two. If a man is behind his 'Doorway of Safety' when hit then no points are scored. First to ten.
I approached the Olympic committee about adopting it as a sport for London 2012. They still insist on that fencing crap though.
I went to a thai restaurant and ordered egg rolls with my dinner but they gave me spring rolls instead and they are just going to go to waste because spring rolls are the worst.
I just wanted my deep fried fatty fat fat egg rolls
My life's made of misfortunes; even though I purposely avoid three grids. For me it's always the little things; there's never any of my milk left when I want a brew (note: my milk, which I haven't drank), never any Dr Pepper bottles left at work, I'm always tripping up, walking into things, knocking things over, spilling food all down myself. etc etc. It was only yesterday when I was on the bus to meet an ex, an already stressful ordeal, and I spilled near enough an entire bottle of Coke (note: they were out of Dr Pepper as standard) in my lap. I somehow managed to change tops discretely, whilst still on the bus too. A few days before that my friend dragged me with her to the doctors after I'd literally just finished work and wanted food, it "won't take long", nearly 40 minutes later I'm sat in the waiting room regretting my choice of quavers (way too noisy to eat in a silent waiting room!). It was also on the way to the doctors that I tripped myself up and scraped my arm on a wall. Little things like this happen to me daily, but I just laugh. I've been known to drop DVDs everywhere at work, and I once dropped half of a footlong Subway on the floor on the staffroom because it fell off my lap
I am never, ever going to get to makeout with young Bruce Willis. All of you people have nothing on me. Not a damn thing.
Signature by rubah. I think.
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