Lifeboat Situation

[Loony BoB]

Okay, having thought about this long enough, it all really depends on how I want to go about it.

Survival Earned - if I'm after people who will help me survive the wild.
Flying Mullet
Knox
Miriel
theundeadhero
Vivi22

Everyone makes it because we are the ultimate team. After Flying Mullet's epic calves propel us to the nearest island, hero and Knox start setting us up for survival using their outstanding training in the U.S. military. Vivi22 creates a bow and uses it to expertly hunt animals which Miriel cooks to perfection. It's tough, but we're all fairly determined people capable of motivating ourselves and each other when it's needed. We make it through in the end, but I break my arm, Knox catches a cold and hero gets sick after wiping his arse with some unusual plant.

Survival Guaranteed - if I'm after people who will be great to spend my time with on the lifeboat.
Calliope
DK
Locky
Shorty
smittenkitten

Everyone makes it because we get found by a fancy yacht owned by an aging billionaire pretty early on and get VIP treatment for the entire journey. It is amazing. Someone hooks up with a butler and gets an STI, but I'm not telling who because I don't go gossiping about my bro.

[Psychotic]

me, faris, azar, shorty, denmark, will

because I want all the gingers in one smurfing place so I can do what should've been done to them at birth: DROWN THEM.

Will isn't a ginger, but he chose me so I'd pick him for being a bro and I would probably need some help in putting down that many redheads.

[Jinx]

me, faris, azar, shorty, denmark, will

because I want all the gingers in one smurfing place so I can do what should've been done to them at birth: DROWN THEM.

I TOLD YOU YOU WERE A GINGER FFS

[Psychotic]

Both myself and none other than Tasty Crayon tried to explain this to him 10 years ago and he wasn't having any of it then either.

[Shorty]

Rob and Will are not gingers.

Try and drown me. Try it.

[Psychotic]

Well I imagine it's hard enough to get you to take a shower given how badly you smell, so your water dodging reflexes are probably at a very high level. I think I am up to the challenge though.

[Shorty]

Joke's on you, I soaked in the tub for an hour last night. I smell like sunshine and daisies.

[Psychotic]

Given that the sun would melt the very skin off you, are you saying you smell like roasted flesh? Now that I think of it, I did detect a hint of burned meat when I met you. That and a musty, sweaty, unclean kind of aroma. Maybe that's the daisies.

[Shorty]

That burned flesh smell was the friction of your pants tent in reaction to us walking past the Dreamboats and Petticoats advertisement.

[Loony BoB]

me, faris, azar, shorty, denmark, will

because I want all the gingers in one smurfing place so I can do what should've been done to them at birth: DROWN THEM.

Will isn't a ginger, but he chose me so I'd pick him for being a bro and I would probably need some help in putting down that many redheads.

Well, obviously if you're drowning gingers then Will has to be around, because you need one non-ginger on that boat to finish the job.

[Psychotic]

joke's on you, you have to have hair to be a ginger

[Denmark]

me, faris, azar, shorty, denmark, will

because I want all the gingers in one smurfing place so I can do what should've been done to them at birth: DROWN THEM.

I TOLD YOU YOU WERE A GINGER FFS

misinformed people thinking something does not make that thing true

see: eyes on each other

[Faris]

Psychotic, Denmark, Cuch, Chris, and Shorty

Cuch and Chris use their manly muscles to use Psychotic and Denmark as paddles to row the boat. The two paddles are first to go, Cuch dies from lack of sleep and fear of what Chris will do to him, Chris dies from exhaustion and heart break. Shorty and I reenact scenes from 30 Rock until we are rescued by rich sexy Europeans and brought onto their yacht.

GINGER POWER

[Denmark]

why do i keep getting killed

[Unbreakable Will]

why do i keep getting killed

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