A Song of Marry, Boff, Kill

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

Marry Renly: I get to be consort, for a while at least.
Bof Pod: The whores paid him for sex...
Kill Stannis: He annoys me.

[Mr. Carnelian]

Marry: Jon Snow
He's a decent chap, he's good looking, and he's handy with weaponry and so could protect me from all the war and suchlike. Since the death of Ygritte (did I spell her name right?), he's hesitant about sleeping with other women, as evidenced in his turning down Melisandre when she was literally all over him. But I'm a man, so way-hey! Obviously, he's not gay, but he COULD be bisexual, you don't know for sure (don't burst my bubble, okay)! Plus, I've read some fan theories that he might actually be a Targaryen, so there's an outside chance that he might end up on the Iron Throne!

Boff: Gendry
Have you SEEN his torso?! God damn!

Kill: Walder Frey
He's such an awful, awful man. There might well be more loathsome people (looking at you, Ramsay Bolton). But, because he's a minor character, I get the feeling that his part in the Red Wedding is never going to be followed up on. So, if I don't kill him he might just get away with it.

[Formalhaut]

Marry: Jon Snow
He's a decent chap, he's good looking, and he's handy with weaponry and so could protect me from all the war and suchlike. Since the death of Ygritte (did I spell her name right?), he's hesitant about sleeping with other women, as evidenced in his turning down Melisandre when she was literally all over him. But I'm a man, so way-hey! Obviously, he's not gay, but he COULD be bisexual, you don't know for sure (don't burst my bubble, okay)! Plus, I've read some fan theories that he might actually be a Targaryen, so there's an outside chance that he might end up on the Iron Throne!

You, uh, obviously put much thought into this.

For me:

Kill: Ramsey Bolton. Sam made a good point about Walder Frey, but Ramsey is just wrong. That kid is not right.
Boff: I went with Podrick. Not only is he great in bed, he's also a really nice person!
Marry: I initially went with Brienne but I wasn't certain she would enjoy the married life. Jon Snow is a good pick, but so is Renly Baratheon. Ultimately, one is dead and the other is a sworn brother of the Night's Watch, so you actually can't marry both. If neither of that were a concern, I'd probably go with Jon.

[Shiny]

Sansa, she's slowly becoming the only woman with any sense in Westeros]

Wait, wut.

Marry: No character ever because smurf that. They're either insane, evil, drunkards, have dragons, or some mystical type power. I don't want to be flayed alive because someone is angry at me.
Boff: Jon Snow because I would irl tbh. I'm a sucker for curly hair and puppy dog eyes.
Kill: Ramsay he can go diaf.