Ask a stupid Final Fantasy question, etc. - ONLY ONE QUESTION IN TEN POSTS!!!!

[arcanedude34]

I love these thread and i haven't seen any around, so I'm starting one.

Rules:
ONE question per post
NO spam or answers to questions that have already been answered
You MAY pass your question. Next person to post gets it
ANYthing goes

Games allowed- FFI, FFII, FFIII, FFIV, FFV, FFVI, FFVII, FVIII, FFIX, FFX, FFX-2,FFXI, FFXII, FFXIII FFT, FFTA

I'll start:

Why does Cloud have such spikey hair?

[Goldenboko]

Lots of hair gel. Duh!

So... why don't the villians kill you why your still level one?

[arcanedude34]

They get caught in traffic and can't get to you until later.

Why do we never see a chocobo Bar-B-Q or something?

[Martyr]

Chocobo necks are made of concrete.

Cloud be more badass with black hair; why does he dye it blonde?

[arcanedude34]

Because his natural hair isnt blonde; it's pink. They only carry blonde dye in Midgar.

Why do characters in FFV stand on the tip of the pointy thing on ships with no regards to thei own safety?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Because they are a curious folk.

Why are the 4 warriors of light in FF1 have no names, and are only known by thier jobs? How do they distinguish those who have multiple jobs?

[arcanedude34]

They have nametags.

Someone take my question.

[black orb]

>>> How do I revive Aeris?.

[Martyr]

Joke! Two Aeris questions simultaneously!
My friend, Aeris is revived when you have beaten all the Final Fantasy's. The cyber connection between all the saved games in their respective batteries combines over your FFVII CD, and, when you start a new game, she doesn't die, but is instantly revived, and then there's a totally kickass scene where she slays Sephiroth RIGHT THERE!

What if Aeris Married General Leo?

[arcanedude34]

Then Aeris wouldn't be able to love Cloud. I think.


What if Cecil lost the fire ring before he got to the summoners' village?

[Zora]

He would have regretted it when facing Golbez and having that dragon kick his butt.


What is behind Vivi's face?

[Martyr]

Gogo!

Why didn't Kain go after Rydia?

[arcanedude34]

Because she took his burrito so he got mad at her.

Why is ExDeath so uncreatively named?

[LunarWeaver]

Because the name Final Fantasy soaked up all their genius.

What exactly will happen if Zell is refused a hot dog for too long?

[Vermachtnis]

He'd have to raid the mustard SeeD plants cause his true addiction is Mustard.

Why don't the characters just steal Odin's horse or better yet just use Bahumat for transportation?

[Frozen Phantom]

cause the horse/bahumat would kick their asses....duh

Why can't the final fantasy franchise die???

[No.78]

Because of a fan support machine

What happens if you remove Vivis hat?

[vorpal blade]

Vivi's head gets cold.

Why didn't they use a Phoenix Down on Aeris?

[feioncastor]

Because she's allergic to feathers of any kind, and using a Phoenix Down would've revived her just long enough for her to have an allergic reaction and her trachia would close up, causing her to suffocate in seconds.

How did Yang absorb the blast from a cannon with a firepower great enough to destroy an entire kingdom on the other side of a continent?

[The Mog Ninja]

cuz hes a fat ass =)

sum1 take my turn

[PuPu]

Why is there a Cid in every FF?

[Bubblekin]

Why is there a Cid in every FF?

We wouldn't know it was FF otherwise.

Who would win, Lulu or Quistis?

[Slothy]

We wouldn't know it was FF otherwise.

Who would win, Lulu or Quistis?


Quistis would be crushed by the weight of Lulu's "dolls".

How come Vivi doesn't have any luck with the ladies (he married Quina for god's sake)?

[Laddy]

Because he's taken.

Why does Balthier have such a voice that makes him seem older?

[Griff]

laryngitis

how can blitzers breath underwater?

[Darth Anarcus]

When they are out of the water, they do not eat or drink, substituting it for breathing. When they are in the water, it's the other way around. Every time a blitzer is not on camera inside the sphere pool, he pulls out a burger and munches.

How and since when could Cloud fly? (I'm referring to his fight with Sephiroth in Advent Children.)

[Takara]

Since the writers decided he could.

What's the deal with Wakka's hair?

[boys from the dwarf]

yer mam.

o.k. seriously.

the deal is, the more gravity defying hair is, the better the charcter. but wakka loses bonusses for being pretty stupid and looking wierd.

why the hell should i gave those pupus and magic pots my elixirs? and why dont they accept megalixirs?

[Vermachtnis]

Because it's like Crack to them.

Who would win between Neo Shinryu (FFV) and Omega (FFVIII)?

[Dagga]

Omega because he's O so MEGA
Why does Beatrix love Steiner?

[Bubblekin]

Why does Beatrix love Steiner?

She gave up dating other women when Freya turned her down for the 11th time.

Why is there always a "Death" spell when it always misses?

[black orb]

>>> Because she has weird fetishes..

How do I break the damage limit in FF9?

[Rocket Edge]

Name Zidane 'damage limit' & let a monster break him up?

What's under Vivi's hat?

[LunarWeaver]

The real ticket to the Canary play he forgot he had all along.

If white mages and black mages had a war, which side would win? LOL, YOU'RE A RACIST NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY NOW, TRICK QUESTION.

[Black Magic Shopkeeper]

They'd wind up makin' out. Duh.

Why do all the main girls look alike?

[Darth Anarcus]

Because their hypostases are completely independent of their essences, therefore their subsistences would be completely devoid of how their corporeal forms are manifested within the games.

Is "Final Fantasy" an inappropriate title for children under the age of eightteen?

[Black Magic Shopkeeper]

No, even a 3 year old can play it. (Just keep stamping your foot, Shopkeep. You'll get your customers yet! Soon babies will be drinking coffee and casting explosive spells at their parents! Muwahaha.)

Is it just me or does Tidus have a thing for his mom?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Dont you know? Incest is HUGE over in Japan!

Why dont they release any games in America first? We are a larger market (I think and hope)

[Laddy]

Because we are hated globally being jenius yehss Amuricca!

Why do people think Quina's a guy when he's a she?

[Zora]

The same reason people thought that Vaan (FFXII) was a girl at first and not a boy

Why is FuSaYo a class "Lunerian" and not a sage?

[Frozen Phantom]

Cause someone at Square was drunk when they made his character.

Why does SE have to be racist with their black and white mages?

[NINJA_Ryu]

its not racist, its a matter of unity betweent he forces of GOOD and EVIL!!!

Evil destorys while good creates, duh :P

Why do they use roman numerals in the FF sequence? What ever happened to good ol 1-10!

[blackmage_nuke]

Because roman numerals are gooder and ol'er

How can people stand on the deck of an airship without being blown off?

[Vermachtnis]

Final Fantasy II was suppose to be called Aye-Aye, but because producers didn't get it, they wrote it as II and Square went with it.

EDIT: WHOOPS
Because all those Potions and other items weigh them down.

What if Bahumat was afraid of heights?

[feioncastor]

He'd abandon his residence on the moon and move to the west side of Chicago, and probably pick up season tickets to the Cubs if he could save up the money.

Why doesn't Squall get plastic surgery to remove the ugly scar on his face?

[Takara]

Because he spends all his SeeD paychecks on Weapon Monthly magazines, white t-shirts, and black aviator jackets, so he doesn't have enough left to consult a plastic surgeon.

Why wasn't Guido recognized as the official fifth Ninja Turtle already?

[Slicksword45]

Because he would make them explode.

When is FFXIII coming out.

[Frozen Phantom]

when hell freezes over

why do ff characters take turns attacking in battle?

[feioncastor]

when hell freezes over

why do ff characters take turns attacking in battle?

Because there was a sense of decency in fighting that existed in the 1980's that we seem to have lost today. Obviously, if you're fighting someone and they are more agile than you, it's only fair to stand by and allow them to attack you first.

Why has Square-Enix released 12 installments in the Final Fantasy series, but has yet to release a follow up to Rad Racer, the finest game Squaresoft ever developed?

[boys from the dwarf]

RR is harder to say then FF and doesn't sound as good. are-are VS eff-eff.

how come on FF4 you can travel around the world in about 10 seconds with an airship?

[feioncastor]

Because THE WORLD IS SQUARE

Oh, and if anyone is wondering... I win. :)

Why doesn't Squall get a more professional haircut?

[Kryton87]

Because he's antisocial

Why does the majority of every Final Fantasy world look like Japan?

[Griff]

Because exposure to the a-bomb gave them the ability to cast magic, summon dragons, and fight evil. henceforth every FF is a biography of one year in Japan

How come when you fly off the north end of the world map you end up in the south end?

[Firo Volondé]

That's a perfectly normal phenomenon, due to evey world being shaped like a giant cylinder. The north end is connected to the south end, therefore going off the top will take you to the bottom and vice versa. Going east to west, though, is still a total mystery.

Why can mages only cast dumb elemental spells, instead of cool stuff like making people's heads explode?

[No.78]

If they cast fire into someones head, this is a possibility. You underestimate black mages sir!

Why does Squall never get burnt when he R1's teh enemies?


Vivi's head gets cold.

That's just dissapointing :(

[Bubblekin]

If they cast fire into someones head, this is a possibility. You underestimate black mages sir!

Why does Squall never get burnt when he R1's teh enemies?


Either it's because of his ice-cold personality, or like anything in FFVIII, just blame the GF.

How do monsters carry their items?

[Vermachtnis]

The same way everyone in RPG's do: Malletspace.

Where do the monsters go if you Condemn them while in the Void?

[Dagga]

They go to lollipop city in the Northern Hemisphere...

What is the final fantasy?

[boys from the dwarf]

13 until further notice. 14 has alway seemed a pretty ugly number to me (BTW. i hope and also think im wrong. why would they stop now?)

THE final fantasy is final fantasy. the original game that started it.

anyway.

would kefkas weapon be orphans, babies or the crippled?

[Griff]

crippled orphan babies

why are those random animals carrying 148 gil and a magic fire ring?

[Dagga]

They play too much final fantasy. They don't get out a lot... They think they have a mission to accomplish.
What is Don Corneo?

[Goldenboko]

A person duh!

How come FF characters are stupid and don't realize that if they want a Golden Chocobo they should just call me?

[arcanedude34]

They do, but you never accept the charges.

In Dali the time you have to go there, the party consists of a huge guy in armor, a guy with a monkey tail, a kid with no face, and a regular looking girl. Why does Zidane think the inkeeper is staring at the regular looking girl, not the three freaks she has with them?

[Kryton87]

Because Mega-Armor, faceless hats, and tails are commonplace among the inhabitance of Gaia.

Where are all the orcs?

[Twilight Edge]

They are in their homeland of Kalimdor, planet I-don't-know-where, so they don't make an appearance in FF but in Warcraft.

[Darth Anarcus]

Because Mega-Armor, faceless hats, and tails are commonplace among the inhabitance of Gaia.
...That wasn't a stupid answer! You broke the rules!;)

Why is it that any time the characters enter into a snowy area (the Great Clacier/Gaia Cliffs in FF7, Shumi area in FF8, that one cave in FF9, Mt. Gagazet in FFX, and some other place in FF12), they never need to put on heavier clothing and seem perfectly comfortable wearing their normal clothes with half of their bare flesh exposed?

[NeoCracker]

Because, unlike you apparently, they are real men. REal mean bear the cold like the men they are. And yes, that means final fantasy women are pretty damn manly.

What would be the punchline to the joke, Squall, Cloud, and Zidane walked into a bar?

[Peter_20]

FF chars, yay.

What are Levels good for, anyway?

[Dagga]

They're good for lyric writing, taking up space in the game making it a bit challlllllennnginngggg (I know I spelled that wrong)

If Red XIII were a pigeon would he be a cool cat?

[Peter_20]

They're good for lyric writing, taking up space in the game making it a bit challlllllennnginngggg (I know I spelled that wrong)

If Red XIII were a pigeon would he be a cool cat?No, dogs are cooler.

Why is Cid always called "Cid"?
There are other names in this world!

[Dagga]

Because Cid is his birthname dah!

Do chocobos poop while they're flying?

[Peter_20]

Yes, if they're paid well enough.

Are moogles a pale type of bears?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

No, they're an ancient version of stuff animals, they just all come dead now so that they don't run away when you cuddle with them.

What are chocobo feathers used for besides the tail feathers(those would be the phoenix downs)?

[Peter_20]

They're used as a spare sword.

Why do FF characters salute at the end of every damn battle?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Because they have nothing else better to do.

How many swords does Gilgamesh actually have?

[Martyr]

Gilgamesh is a tremendous collector of swords, and, after final count last week, he currently owns 46,000. Of course, that number is rounded down, and ultimately unreliable because he'll have more tomorrow.

Which Final Fantasy foe has the most arms and legs?

[Dagga]

Don't be silly final fantasy foes don't have any arms and legs!

What character in Final Fantasy has a big nose?

[boys from the dwarf]

Gilgamesh is a tremendous collector of swords, and, after final count last week, he currently owns 46,000. Of course, that number is rounded down, and ultimately unreliable because he'll have more tomorrow.

to me, that really sounds like something Terry Pratchett would write for some reason! i guess its just that sort of humour that lightens up your day but doesn't make you burst out laughing.

meh. i just felt like saying that.


What character in Final Fantasy has a big nose?

Baku with his permanent cold and swollen nose. ACHOO! which gives me an idea for my next question.

why does Baku always have a cold?

[Griff]

A mutation in his DNA makes him more succeptable to cold and flu. In fact it's a miricle he's survived this long!

If I went back in time and altered plan's for FF7 so that Sephiroth was a midgit in a tutu, would there still be fanboys?

[Relena]

Yes, there would be, possibly more than they have already.
Why do so many people like X-2?

[Firo Volondé]

Because Rikku is half-naked in it.

When will FFXII be released in Europe?

[forgotten_fantasy]

february 2107

How many homosexual playable characters are there in all final fantasy games

[Twilight Edge]

I lost count.

How many bullets does Vincent's gun have at maximum?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

One bullet for eahc enemy in the battle because that's all it takes.

Where is most perverted event in FFVIII?

[arcanedude34]

The deleted scene from FFIX where Eikoe is showering and Garnet, Lani, and Beatrix show up and.... well you can guess what happens.

Who is the hottest Final Fantasy chick in the series?

[Lacus Clyne]

Tidus.
Why do so many people dislike Final Fantasy 7?

[Laddy]

... because they are horrible meanies.

I love FF, what type of tyrant dosen't?

[arcanedude34]

King Bob

Who is the hottest Final Fantasy guy?

[Frozen Phantom]

Cait Sith (srry....I really couldn't help that one)

*don't consider this my question....its really a joke, but you are welcome to try to answer it. Someone can take my question*

In the theories of many fanboys in most situations result in much confusion of why SE continues to use crystals as their "symbol" of sorts, but the question in general is why? Failure to write a 20 page report to answer this will result in a sticky and yummy death.*

*yes I pulled a paper mario 2 quote :)

[arcanedude34]

Um... cuz. they were drunk. And everyone know the chocobo is Square's "symbol," duh!

Hers one that always bugged me-

If Ritz gets Viera classes by bein trained by Viera, how come Marche doesnt get Moogle classes from Montblanc?

[Takara]

Because he's blonde.

Why do most characters lack fashion sense?

[arcanedude34]

Most character start out with like 200 gil. You try shopping anywhere other than a thrift shop with 200 gil that needs to support your family for a month. And what do they have at thrift shops? Crappy clothes! Yay.

(side: I have never come across a Final Fantasy costume I don't like
[...yes, even Kuja])

Someone take mine.

[.:kerrod:.]

>>>>>>>why does rikku look like she's trying to play drums/scratch the air everytime she talks....even in X-2?!

[Kanshisha]

Because she is drunk...
Why does barret have boots on? not sandals or thongs?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Because they'd never match his feet, so he hides them.

Why doesn't Sephiroth just take some pills to make himself happy rather then destroying the planet?

[NeoCracker]

He's anti drug to the extreme.

Why don't teh Chocobos rise and overcome?

[Bunny]

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaark.

Could Mog outdance Dirty Dancing-era Patrick Swayze?

[dennenappelke]

yes, mog is so much cooler

How is it possible that Zidan receives a letter from a moogle in Burmecia, and Dagger in Alexandria can deliver that same letter?

[Kanshisha]

because they have telekineses skills...
Why don't squall in FFVIII have pet fish? or a wolf?

[Vermachtnis]

He had both, but the wolf ate his fish and Squall killed the Wolf in anger.

Would Ifrit made a good watch dog?

[arcanedude34]

Yes, he's actually a mercenary watch-dog. He's just an Aeon, Esper, Eidolon, and everything else part-time.

If an Iifa Tree falls and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

[Gabranth]

of course not, look how small those things are. DUHHH

what kind of hair gel does seymour use?

[Frozen Phantom]

he doesn't use any, gravity styles his hair

*and I will do a slight varation on arcanedude34's question*

If a tree falls in a forest and crushes gogo, would anyone care?

[dennenappelke]

the other trees would care, because they lost a great friend


if cloud were the main character in FF8, would Rinoa be attracted to him? (and what if Squall were the main charachter in FF7 ?)

[Laddy]

no, he's not emo enough.

IS it just me, but is Edward totally...a loser?

[Twilight Edge]

Not in EoFF Playin', he killed me.

How heavy is Cloud's Buster Sword?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

2kg, duh.

Why do Cloud and Sephiroth have only one wing instead of two?

[Ben]

Because the 2nd wing would be to heavy.

Why don't they make a chocobo monthly magazine?

[arcanedude34]

Chocobo's can't read, and anybody wo is obsessed enough to the point of subscribing to it owuld probably be one of those people who would never read it anyway, because they'd be too busy with raising/grooming/feeding/training/mating chocobos.

If a tree falls in a forest, why do chocobos have three toes?

[CimminyCricket]

cause the tree ended up hitting and removing the others!

Why can't chocobos speak human?

[Vermachtnis]

Oh they can, they just enjoy us pulling their strings and kicking their sides.

What does Shiva eat?

[f f freak]

She eats your babies.

What is Aeris's favpurite past time?

[.:kerrod:.]

drowning puppies

If cloud dyed his hair black, would aeris love him more?

[Martyr]

No. She'd see him as an antithesis to Sephiroth, who has white hair. White is the color of purity, and all things bright and good, primarilly, also, so she would actually feel the way about Cloud the waynshe feels about Sephy, and, also, Cloud would probably have to kill her.

If Black Hair Cloud and Black Hair Sephiroth joined forces to seduce Sephy's mommy, how could Aeris come between them and certain unstoppable incest?

[Twilight Edge]

By turning into the tentacle monster which I would not describe.

If Zack is alive and dyed his hair blonde, will Aeris love him forever and never get into a relationship with Cloud?

[Griff]

no, she would have a threesome with both. Every night. Twice.

Why is Wakka so racist?

[Laddy]

Because he like cheese crackers, and the Al Bhed like pretzels.

Is it just me or was FF6 short one character?

[arcanedude34]

Just you.

What is Spehiroth's full name?

[Fynn]

Sephiroth Who-Wants-To-Become-The-Planet-Because-His-Fake-Mama-Was-An-Alien... and so on, and so forth...


Why can't the black Chocobo fly in FF7? Why does it just walk over everything?

[Dark Messenger]

It ate too many greens to be able to fly.

What if Vaan and Tidus met?

[Dynast-Kid]

They'd have a sexy (and even more androgynous) love child.

What would've happened if Sephy didn't kill Aerith?

[Laddy]

She would be in this forum, giving us a sermon on flower respect.

What Final Fantasy is an evil plot for golbal domination?

[Dynast-Kid]

FFXII. Why else would they make it so awesome?

What do Magic Pots look like, minus the pot?

[Laddy]

Magic!

Can you hug a moogle?

[boys from the dwarf]

why wouldn't you? (thats my answer. not question of course.)

what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen chocobo?

[Twilight Edge]

Mach 2.

How stoned are the Stone Gragoyles in FFVII's Northern Crater?

[Remon]

Not stoned enough

What would happen if Kimahri married Quina?

[Fynn]

Kimahri would want to get a divorce the first of their honeymoon... Quina's such a perv!

Why is Cait Sith's moogle so fat?

[Timster]

Because it stopped by McDonalds, on it's way to the game.

Why don't they mix all FFs to make a really BIG one?

[Martyr]

Because Final Fantasy keeps coming out! Such is the terminally paradoxical nature of the Name of the Game!

If Edgar from FF6 made it into the other FF games, who would he finally end up marrying? (Cause he's gotta get somebody)

[Peter_20]

He'd marry Quina.

Why does Garnet change her name to the adorably awful "Dagger"?

[Slothy]

Because, like a fool, you didn't rename her.

Would chocobo's be fun at parties?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Oh yeah, they'd 'Kweh!' like there was no tomorrow.

What would it've been like if moogles didn't help you save?

[Remon]

We would save without them lol

What would happen if Sin made a Baby?

[Timster]

They're called sinspawn, I mean hellooooo:p

What would happen if Selphie and Rikku met?

[Psychotic]

Some really horrible fanfiction.

What would happen if Maechen was telling Tidus and the party a story, and then Lulu just snapped, and kept kicking Maechen in the head, over and over and over. Maechen isn't moving. Blood is spilling from his mouth, and from a wound in his head. And all the while Lulu is just kicking, kicking. The other party members try to pull her off, but they just can't. Lulu has to keep kicking, because it's the only way for the screaming in her head to stop. So yeah, what would happen? :)

[Timster]

Not to spam or anything, but I think you just described what would happen, maybe you should have stopped when Lulu snapped and left the rest up to others.;)

And to answer your question: they shoot her with a tranquilizer (sp?) rifle Edit: tranquilizer bazooka:D

my question is up for grabs...

[Dynast-Kid]

Who would win in a gun fight between Yuna (X-2, of course) and Lightning (XIII)?

[f f freak]

Quistis naturally. She'd step in and be all like "If you don't stop fighting I'm gonna go gatling gun on your @$$es" And when they don't stop she kills them with gatling gun.

What would happen if Lulu got together with Kimahri and Quina at the same time?

[feioncastor]

Ron Jeremy.


Why does the Chime that controls the door of the mirage tower stamped in English "MADE IN LEIFEN", yet when you go to Leifen, no one seems to know English? Or anything other than "Lu...pa?" for that matter.

[arcanedude34]

A wizard did it.

Is every villain in the series at least partly gay?

[Griff]

no, there was always chaos in FF1.

Why do cloud's clothes change colour between movie and gameplay scenes?

[Takara]

He said that the clothes made his ass look big in the CG sequences, so they gave him another set.

What would happen if all the Chocobos went on a strike?

[.:kerrod:.]

i imagine they'd be chanting something like: 'Wark do we wark?' 'For warking humans to stop warking us too wark' 'Wark do we wark it?' 'WARK!'

What would happen if cloud got shot along with zack?

[boys from the dwarf]

everyone but sephiroth would die.

in FF9. where'd all of those silver dragons come from?

[ReloadPsi]

Kuja, being free after 10,000 years and deciding it was time to conquer Gaia, had this weird anthropomorphic west highland white terrier named Finster working behind the scenes and constructing entire armies of them out of clay.

When the hell is Square-Enix vs Capcom coming out?

[The Crystal]

Kuja, being free after 10,000 years and deciding it was time to conquer Gaia, had this weird anthropomorphic west highland white terrier named Finster working behind the scenes and constructing entire armies of them out of clay.

When the hell is Square-Enix vs Capcom coming out?

When SE run out of good ideas for RPGs, and lose money because of this.

In FFVIII, why Adel was normal size in the past, but in the present time she was a giant?

[Vermachtnis]

Everyone knew people were smaller in the past.

Does the McDonald's of Spira put Ixion in their Food?

[arcanedude34]

No, thats sick. Only 100% processed Anima meat makes it into the high standards of McDonalds.

Why does Montblanc help Marche out in the very beginning of the game, when he could have let the Bangaa's kick his ass and talked to him afterward? That would have made one amazing show.

[CimminyCricket]

lmto, yes it would have. As for the answer, Because he had to keep his image for the lady moogles (if there are any), it wouldn't do to not fight some grumpy bangaas.

Why is it, that when the ground around a monster/person is broken, ripped up, destroyed, incinerated after/during a summon, is all there in the end?

[Slothy]

The party doesn't really summon anything. They just get the monsters to partake of some grade "A" hallucanagens with them.

Which brings us to my question: what are Final Fantasy characters on, and where can I get some?

[oddler]

They're on Speed (or as they like to call it, Haste). You can get it various ways including materia and Espers.

What really happens when everyone's HP drops to zero?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

They die, but then Final Fantasy God say, "Eh, you need to finish the story, so I'll let you live till then." So he revives them to where they last "saved".

What's the difference between a moogle and a moomba?

[Twilight Edge]

None.

Where's Sephiroth's other wing?

[Firo Volondé]

It's invisible.

Does Yuna's bum look big in her Black Mage outfit?

[Melodies_of_life]

It's frekin' huge.

Why does Vaan sound like he does?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Because his hormones are off balance.

Why are there so many teenage characters in FF?

[TyphoonThaReapa]

Because no one gives a damn about children or adults. Which means if you die a child or adults whos going to give a crap? Not me.:cry:

Why did FF12's storyline suck after the first three hours?

[No.78]

Because that's when you fell asleep?

How does Amarant see?

[Odaisé Gaelach]

With his eyes.

What are all the crystals made of anyway?

[CimminyCricket]

Turkey stuffing

why do moogles walk when they can very well fly?

[Griff]

costs less air miles.

is Rikku hotter in FFX or FFX-2?

[Twilight Edge]

X. Her clothes are tighter than in X-2, so she will be hotter wearing it compared to X-2's bikini suit.

Does Trance make Kuja look like a trans?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Depends on your perspective. :p

Why hadn't Tidus gone through his dramatic voice change yet, leaving him with the adolescent annoying speak?

[Ben]

Because when he was 6 he stabbed himself in the chest to make it so he won't ever have a voice change.

Why does Tidus act all childish in the beggining and then becomes really "mature" in the end?

[Fynn]

That's the power of love, my dear child.

Why has Yunalesca got more hair than clothing?

[arcanedude34]

She sold all her clothes to ge hair extensions.

Why doesn't Zidane get his tail removed?

[SnoopyG]

girls are into a really long tail in that area


How come guns in final fantasy are really weak

[Dynast-Kid]

Because they're supposed to be hooked up to blades to maximize the damage potential, but the characters are terrible idiots and never remember to attach the two.

What Final Fantasy characters are on Kimahri's Myspace Top 3?

[Twilight Edge]

Red XIII, Angelo and Quina.

Was X-2 asking for hentai to be made about it when SE released it?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

No, but it happens anyways.

Why doesn't Vaan cover up his skeletony abs?

[Bunny]

Deserts are hot.

Could anyone truly love Cait Sith?

[Fynn]

Of course! Take Reeve, for example. He likes him A LOT... *cough*

Why does Lufenian concist of four words only? (Lu... Pa... Gami... Dho?)

[Twilight Edge]

Just so they could be sure to monopolize the airship manufacturing economy mon.

If Cait Sith can star in a neko hentai movie and Malboro can star in a tentacle hentai movie, what kind of hentai would Quina be in mon?

[Fynn]

A new type, where they play with food.

Why is the whole main FFXII cast blonde?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

It is teh hottness to asians. (Actually, they are pretty much starting to get into blonde haired people)

Will Garnet stick with the short hair?

[arcanedude34]

No. She's gonna shave it all off, then get a mohawk, then an afro, then back to long.

Why is Red XIII red?

[Odaisé Gaelach]

'Cause blue is sooo last season.

Why does Lulu have an Arabic name?

[Firo Volondé]

Because she's an Arab.

Which Cid is cooler: Highwind or Fabool?

[UltimaMasamune]

neither, Benansa can kick both of theire asses



'Why does Lulu have an Arabic name?

because it's Lulua (same pronunciation with a wa at the end)


What's the deference between a gublade and a bladegun

[OneWingedAngelSephiroth91]

It's black and blue but not red all over

[OneWingedAngelSephiroth91]

How about what brings the end first but saves the beginning later?

[UltimaMasamune]

because you touch your self at night

why do you touch your self at night

[Eiko Guy]

Because FF freak always says "no"

Why does ff freak live off of others bile?

[Twilight Edge]

Because she has pancreatic problems.

Why are people asking non-FF related questions?

[f f freak]

Becuase Outlaw Starwind has brain problems that force him to continuosly run into walls which gives him even worse brain problems which makes him think it's me that lives off of other people's bile when it's actually that hobo that lives on the bench.

How does Lulu control her dolls?

[Slothy]

She doesn't; the PS3 made them sentient.

Just how big is the party's item bag anyway?

[No.78]

Not how big, but how it was made. The answer, is by Mary Poppins, Level 75 BLM

Why don't FF party members sometimes have a change of heart and randomly leave the party forever? NO Shadow doesn't count.

[f f freak]

Because if they tried to then the bad guy would come in and say "I have your mother in my secret lair!!!" Then he would dissappear and the person trying to leave would be like "Oh snap!!!" then you would all run off to save the mum from certain death. When you rescue her you also get the brownie item.

What would happen if all of the Final Fantasy villians met?

[UltimaMasamune]

they would have a fight on who has the silverest hair

Why does Kefka kick so much ass?

[Fynn]

Um... He's sure got quite a big leg later on... Also, notice that earlier on in battle he lifts his... dress?... whatever, with his hand slightly, straightening out his leg, about to kick someone. Well, whatever... The twisted inventions of a twisted mind.

Why do some FFI and II tracks sound, like, a LOT better on the GBA than on the OST?

[Twilight Edge]

Ask them.

Which FF location do you get hit by lightning where the sun don't shine?

[arcanedude34]

Yes.

How old is Sephiroth?

[Griff]

10, FF7 came out in '97

What was Square smoking when they came up with the stats system for FFII?

[arcanedude34]

Opium.

Why does FFV lack both a good protagonist AND antagonist?

[Fynn]

Oh, please, the REAL protagonist is Moogle #1!

Honestly, why is that ship called the Lunar WHALE?

[arcanedude34]

It was a bet to see if the writers oculd put the phrase 'Get off that big whale' in the game without raising the rating. :D

Why does everyone think FFIV is a sequel to FFII when the worlds, characters, plots and EVRYTHING are different except for Kain's name?

[Fynn]

It's a cunning plan of SE's. They want to take over the world this way. They don't want to let people know it's a sequel, because if they do, all the worlds would turn into one making it difficult for Square to rule over it. The USA version of FFIV SNES almost gave it away...

How do you mate Moogles?

[Takara]

Weren't you paying attention in FFVII? By playing some crappy arcade game at the Gold Saucer.

So, who or what exactly did NORG evolve into?

[Twilight Edge]

Some hentai tentacle monster. He proceeded to rape every female student in Balamb before Zell returned and kicked his ass hard because he tried to rape the ponytail girl he likes. Zell and the girl later got married.

Why did NORG breath so heavily?

[Fynn]

Because he's your FATHER! (If you don't know what I'm referring to... than that's just silly).

Why are the golems in FFI naked?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Because nudists were big back in the day when the game came out, and they couldn't make the characters naked or they would've got sued.

How did the tank boss in VIII survive the first beating by your characters? (Too lazy to remember the name of it)

[Bunny]

Luck.

Is Final Fantasy VII the best Final Fantasy game to be released?

[Griff]

Oh HELL NO! It actually makes X-2 look good.

If all 3 bikers in Advent Children were remnants of Sephiroth, how did they decide that Kadaj was in charge?

[arcanedude34]

He was the gayest. The #1 rule of any Final Fantasy is that the one who is most easily made fun of for homosexuality is the head bad guy or antagonist.

If there are no rats s the Summon Cave, how come there are Rat Tails?

[Goldenboko]

Simple there are bats, and bats eat rats, and bats don't like rat tails so they don't eat that part and we all know bats litter.

Why don't the governments threaten the villians with nukes? That always seems to work in real life.

[Twilight Edge]

Because they reverse-threaten to blast the government to smithreens with some big bad planet from outer space.


Who would do the thing mentioned above?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

Hillary Clinton.

Who is the president of Gaia in FFIX?

[CimminyCricket]

I person with a monkey tail who was secretly a penguin.

In FFVIII there were originally 3 Ragnaroks (or more specifically 2 other ships with same design), what happened to them?

[Bart's Friend Milhouse]

They died during childbirth

Who is the president of Gaia in FFIX?

[No.78]

(The questions are getting too serious!!! I have to save the day)
Uehehhrrmmmm, Cid? This is no quiz lol

Why are chocobos invincible?

[Twilight Edge]

Because they have the Goldenboco Invinci-chocobuckle-feather equipped.

Lupa lupa lupa lupa lupa?

[Fynn]

Lupa lupapa lupa lupa luuuuuuuuuuuuuupaaaaaa!


Why does the Trance Kuja battle theme have this "we will rock you"-styled beat?

[Dynast-Kid]

Because Kuja's that awesome.

What color hair would Gogo and Quina's baby have?

[arcanedude34]

All colors.

Does anyone know where that quotes is from?

Now, for my REAL question

What is a Cait Sith?

[Fynn]

A... cat on an overweight mechanic moogle?

Why do SOLDIER members' eyes become bright blue instead of pink? Jenova is pink. Since they recieve her cells, their eyes should become pink, not blue. But they're blue.:mad2: How come?

[I Don't Need A Name]

cos the men in soldier are all man!!!!! (but the baisic costume consists of pink Y-Fronts)

why make Kuja look like a woman, but Brahanne (sp?) look like Rick Waller wearing a face pack

[Dynast-Kid]

Because sexual ambiguity sells.

By what unnatural force does Cloud's hair keep so big and pointy?

[CimminyCricket]

me


Why is it that FF characters can run FOREVER during gameplay but there are cutscenes of them running maybe 20 feet when they start breathing hard.

[Omni-Odin]

Because they have panic attacks when the camera is that close.

Why is Ultimecia such a b*tch?

[Twilight Edge]

Bekause she talcs lice this. We do not akkept C and K werbal confusions here. "EoFF. EoFF EoFF EoFF. Kurse EoFF. Swarming lice lokusts throughout this first generation. You disgust me. I shall kommenke time kompression, all existenke denied."

Wark wark warrrrrrrk?

[Dynast-Kid]

Kweh kweh kweh!

What is the natural lifespan of the North African Cactuar?

[Heero Yuy NWZC]

2 days. Those Afrikaans love to hunt them.

How can you get a chocobo to stop being afraid of water?

[Laddy]

By hugging my great aunt.

What airship has the best in-flight film?

[Dynast-Kid]

The Alexander. Although, the Blackjack and Dreadnought Leviathan both are said to have good selections too.

Why does Garnet wear orange spandex?

[f f freak]

Becuase she thinks she part of the x-men.

How does Quina get from Alexandria to Lindblum before you?

[arcanedude34]

S/he summons a great big frog that gets him/her there in one big hop.

Why is Quina so food-obsessed?

[Twilight Edge]

The lust! The gluttony!

Who is the nerdiest of FF nerds?

[Summoner]

Brother.

Of all the FF characters to knock off, why didn't they kill Leblanc?

[Fynn]

Because then they'd have to deal with Noojie-Woojie.

What would happen to Edea if you took away the big gold thing sticking out of her back?

[arcanedude34]

What WOULDNT happen?

How much does Vivi weigh?

[thehodgepodge37]

A small food portion enough for Quan to be able to eat him (i know, that wasn't funny)

[arcanedude34]

Um.. i understand ur new around here, dear friend, but usually, one would leave a stupid question to keep the thread going. Just something to keep in mind, if you will.

Thank you and good night.

[thehodgepodge37]

Um.. i understand ur new around here, dear friend, but usually, one would leave a stupid question to keep the thread going. Just something to keep in mind, if you will.

Thank you and good night.

Shut up, fedigan. Okay.... why doesn't Yuna drown in the water when she and Tidus are making out underwater?

[arcanedude34]

Hey dont use my real name! Thats my choice and mine alone! I'll get Quina after you again. :quina:

Cuz shes a secret-blitzer by night.

Why does Barret think its his fault that his town (Corel i think) got destroyed when it clearly isnt?

[thehodgepodge37]

cause he's retarded


um... why does Locke and Edgar (in ff6) first know about Terra's magic in battle? I used magic so many times outside battle and I didn't use magic in battle for quite a while ago (past the point where they talk about Terra's magical ability).

[arcanedude34]

Umm.. cuz they were pretending to be shocked by her skillz but really werent.

Why is Locke named Locke?

[thehodgepodge37]

when Locke was born they accidentally locked him in a closet (at the hospital) so they named him Locke. It would have been "Lock" but the person at the hospital didn't know how to spell.

[thehodgepodge37]

Why is Kuja a crossdresser?

[arcanedude34]

OOH OOH OOH DOUBLE-POST!! IM TELLING!!!!

*cough*

Anyway...

He's not a cross-dresser. He's a practicin nudist, but laws on Gaia are extremely strict so he just grabbed the skimpiest thing he could find.

Is Quina going to eat thehodgepodge37?

Er.. I mean...

Why doesn't Vaan get a shirt?

[CimminyCricket]

'cause people kept titty twisting him.

how come there are MILLIONS of pheonix downs but only one pheonix that's a summon, why not a BUNCH?

[No.78]

It's a SCAM Cimanim, IT'S ALL A BIG CONSPIRACY!!! ;_;

Why are there no Panda monsters? :bigsmile:

[Twilight Edge]

They are in WC3 and they like it because they BRING PANDA-MONIUM!

Moobs or boobs?

[arcanedude34]

Quoobs.

Is Steiner gay or straight?

[No.78]

Straight! *points at Beatrix* But he might be Bi... We'll never know.

Why is Spira so small?

[Fynn]

Why make it bigger?

Are Biran and Yenke gay?

[Aqua Mage]

Only when they're lonely. ;)

Why is Rydia's hair green?

[No.78]

Because... Because... SHE'S A FREAK!!!

Why isn't Quina in any FMVs? :(

[arcanedude34]

S/he is... But this is the stupid question/stupid answer thread so...

S/he's too busy eating thehodgepodge37.

Why is it that when you select nothing on the teach me Mogster lessons, his brother STILL says 'Gosh Bro, you sure know a lot...'

[Twilight Edge]

Because his bro told him to say so everytime he finishes saying anything.

Gya haa haa?