Annoying statements

[Raistlin]

What are some arguments or other things that some people say that just annoy the hell out of you? Here are some of mine that I've heard recently:

"Voting third-party is throwing away your vote."

"How can you stand defending murderers?" (I work for a public defender's office)

"Why don't you make your own sandwich?" Bitch, please.

[Jinx]

"Raistlin's a cool guy."


Oh wait


I've never actually heard that said



:smug:

[Bunny]

Any sentence containing the word "literally".

I literally shit my pants out of hatred every time someone uses the word literally.

[Laddy]

I'm not mean; I'm real.

What a silly statement. It's one thing to be straight-up, another to be cruel. There have been so many people who have managed to give a long list of terrible insults to people for no reason and insist that they somehow deserve praise because they were being "real."

[Raistlin]

Stfu, Boobies.


Any sentence containing the word "literally".

I literally shit my pants out of hatred every time someone uses the word literally.

Haha, yeah, the only literal thing about how it's used colloquially is that it's not used literally.

[theundeadhero]

I colloquially trout my pants out of hatred every time someone uses the word literally.

[Jinx]

What if you're using literally the correct way?

Like, "I literally shit my pants."

Because you really shit your pants.

[Shorty]

"I'm Wesley and all of the women around me should be perpetually making sandwiches."

[Shlup]

The other day at work, a guy asked if I had kids. When I said no, he said I'd better hurry up.

Thankfully, I'm his boss, so I can slowly torture my revenge out of him.

[Tigmafuzz]

"I'm Wesley and all of the women around me should be perpetually making sandwiches."

Some women just can't do anything else well :colbert:

[Jowy]

"I'm Wesley and all of the women around me should be perpetually making sandwiches."

Some women just can't do anything else well :colbert:

not even trying to come off as a misogynist over here, but i have never had a bad sandwich made by a lady. a few teetering on mediocre, sure, but we are human above all. sometimes you just overdo it with the vinaigrette. dudes on the other hand have all torn through the bread with an excess amount of peanut butter at some point in their lives. i have.

ON TOPIC:

"that sounds like a bad idea."

maybe, but live a little and take a chance. if you give it a shot and it doesn't work, you tried at the end of the day. improve it for next time.

[Araciel]

Lockout..

...

ffuuuufufuuu

Also, 'these donuts are only a day old'

why the FUCK are they rock-solid!?

[Jowy]

sometimes at work there will be mystery boxes of pizza hut and/or dunkin donuts. you are rolling the dice if you're man enough to try for a free snack.

[Jiro]

sometimes you just gotta take the chance, your last post proves that

[Araciel]

MAN I always try. my stomach has been galvanized over the years I'm like a fucking coyote.

Also, 'could care less'

...I can't even express...

[Jinx]

What the fuck, who puts vinaigrette on a sandwich?

[Jowy]

i do, stop eating cold cut packaged bologna and kraft singles on wonder bread like a pleb

whole wheat toast, iceberg lettuce, two slices of turkey, provolone, sliced tomatoes and a little red wine vinaigrette to zing it all together

[Slothy]

"I'm just touching base," or any variant thereof used to describe checking in with someone about something. It might not bother me so much if it weren't for the fact that half the people in my office use this several times a day in person, on the phone, and I assume, even in their dreams. It's a small office too and no one ever has their door closed so it's impossible not to hear. Sometimes I think I'm going to punch the next person to tell me they're just touching base with me.

You shouldn't be "touching base" unless you're a baseball player. Just ask me your damn question and go away before I stab myself in the eardrums with a pen.

[Jinx]

i do, stop eating cold cut packaged bologna and kraft singles on wonder bread like a pleb

whole wheat toast, iceberg lettuce, two slices of turkey, provolone, sliced tomatoes and a little red wine vinaigrette to zing it all together

First off, who eats bologna and American cheese? I can't stomach either. (Only like US cheese on my burgers.)

Secondly, you lost me at fucking ICEBERG LETTUCE. Who's the pleb now?

[Slothy]

Secondly, you lost me at smurfing ICEBERG LETTUCE. Who's the pleb now?

Romaine is the superior lettuce.

[Jowy]

it is, but i can't justify buying an entire head when i'm only gonna eat half

economics 101

[Slothy]

Lettuce doesn't go bad in a day.

Also, how the hell do you buy iceberg lettuce other than by the head?

[Jinx]

In a bag.

Same as you can buy romaine.

:colbert:

[Faris]

"Everything must be organic for me"

...we're not living in that kind of world or city m'dear.

[Jowy]

i know it doesn't go bad in a day! I don't make sandwiches very often.

[Jinx]

YOU CAN USE IT IN A SALAD AS WELL.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Wtf only puts two slices of sandwich meat on their sandwich?

[Slothy]

In a bag.

Same as you can buy romaine.

:colbert:

Not to drag this even more off topic, but a bag? Honestly? And that doesn't even explain how he's buying iceberg lettuce and not wasting any but would with romaine unless they sell very tiny single serving sandwich sized bags of the stuff.

:doublecolbert:

[Christmas]

Top 10 Annoying Statements Pregnant Women Hear

By Psychotic and BoB, Pregnancy.org



It’s bad enough that complete strangers think it’s perfectly okay to violate a pregnant woman’s personal space by touching her belly and providing all kinds of unsolicited advice.





People say the strangest, most annoying, and sometimes downright offensive things – ask any pregnant woman. It’s as if seeing a pregnant tummy makes people rewrite the laws of civilized conversation.





Here are some examples of some of the most annoying things expectant moms hear:





1. “Was this planned?”
Now, maybe it was and maybe it wasn’t, but yes stranger, allow me to tell you about my personal life. What makes the asker think that it’s their business how or why this baby was conceived? How do you answer that? My suggestion: Reply with a smile and ask: “Why do you want to know?”



2. “You look like you’re ready to pop!”
Um, what do you say to that? Thank you? This is an especially nice question if you are only 4 months pregnant. Why doesn’t the person simply cut to the chase and say they think you’re fat?



3. “You don’t want someone else to raise your child, do you?”
This one is amazing. Insult mom’s mothering before the baby is even born. And by all means, make assumptions about why her baby might go to daycare. Perhaps mom has no choice. This also shows ignorance on the part of the person asking about the benefits of daycare.



4. “You’re planning to breastfeed right?”

Once again, last time we checked, this was a personal decision. While breast is certainly best, if, how and why mom is planning to breastfeed is no one’s business but her own. And why on earth would she open herself up to a debate with a complete stranger?



5. “Are you ready to be a parent?”

This question is one which every new mom has probably been asking herself for her entire pregnancy. But I doubt she wants to pour her heart out to a stranger. Besides, whether she answers yes or no, it is sure to invite further questioning.



6. “Do you want a boy or a girl?”

Seriously, does the asker expect to hear anything other than “as long as it’s healthy, I’ll be happy.”?



7. “Get lots of sleep now because you won’t when baby gets here…”

This one qualifies as annoying simply because it is inevitably repeated over and over again by many a person to every pregnant woman on the planet.



8. “You can eat anything you want!”

Does anyone truly believe that? Not only is it seriously unhealthy advice, it, too, is one of those statements that is heard about as often as “See you next year!” on New Year’s Eve. How many times can you smile and fake chuckle?



9. “Aren’t you tired?”

Is that a rhetorical question or do you really want an answer? I’m pregnant, not sick. Sometimes I’m tired, sometimes I’m not.



10. “You sure you’re not pregnant with twins?”

This one is right up there with #2. Thank you for the compliment. Yes, I’m sure. Why don’t you just ask me how much weight I’ve gained and be done with it? Yes, that should be #11, shouldn’t it?







What’s the most annoying thing you’ve heard?

The award for most annoying statement of the week goes to the CBN.The statement goes thus "CBN will spend NGN40.3bn to produce new coins and naira notes".

[Shorty]

I have to second everything Boobs is saying. Vinagrette, bologna and cheese and iceberg lettuce is all terrible.

Annoying questions: when people at work ask me "are you having fun yet" as they walk by. Stop saying this, it is the worst thing ever. Just say HOW'S IT GOING.

[Jinx]

I have to second everything Boobs is saying. Vinagrette, bologna and cheese and iceberg lettuce is all terrible.

Annoying questions: when people at work ask me "are you having fun yet" as they walk by. Stop saying this, it is the worst thing ever. Just say HOW'S IT GOING.

omg lub <333

I do enjoy vinaigrette YOU KNOW ON MY FUCKING SALAD WHERE IT SHOULD BE

[Shiny]

People who ask me in really intrusive questions like, "Do you want kids" "Are you living with your boyfriend" "Do your parents care about you living with your boyfriend", or "What's your religious beliefs". Depending on the person, I will answer all of the questions, but I just find it odd when people I barely even know ask those questions...

[Denmark]

sandwiches are best without vegetables anyway!

[Raistlin]

People who ask me in really intrusive questions like, "Do you want kids" "Are you living with your boyfriend" "Do your parents care about you living with your boyfriend", or "What's your religious beliefs". Depending on the person, I will answer all of the questions, but I just find it odd when people I barely even know ask those questions...

Oh god, that reminds me how annoying it is when people ask questions like "so when are you getting married and/or have kids?" Or when I say I don't want kids, lots of people look shocked and say things like "you'll change your mind." Apparently everyone is expected to want the same things.

[Rantz]

"Stop humping my leg, you weird smurfer!"

[Pike]

The terms "going green" or "carbon footprint" drive me up a wall and I've no idea why.

Also annoying: most super-conservative image macros/copypastas that make the rounds on Facebook or that my Grandpa "helpfully" emails me on a weekly basis.

"Mary Sue" - hate that term as a writer, I could fill up a novel with why I hate this term and why everyone misuses it.

Anyways

Re: some of the other things mentioned in this thread:

I just don't use the word "literally" in my writing. Not because I don't know what it actually means, but because I don't want to inadvertently trigger the Grammar Nazis.

Nobody has ever asked me if I'm going to have kids. Actually I get the opposite: people tell me NOT to, which is ironic because I actually do want a kid or two at some point. I think it's because I look like I'm about 17.

[Jinx]

Nobody has ever asked me if I'm going to have kids. Actually I get the opposite: people tell me NOT to, which is ironic because I actually do want a kid or two at some point. I think it's because I look like I'm about 17.


or this:

"Hush now, mummy's almost conquered the Roman Empire. I'll feed you soon!"

6 HOURS LATER

"Mrs. Pike MILF, we've received a report of child neglect and abuse in this home."



:peachdance:

[Raistlin]

Here's some old peeves of mind: I refuse to use the common terms "pro-life" or "pro-choice" with respect to the abortion rights debate. They are emotional propaganda terms that I refuse to use on principle, despite being passionately pro-abortion rights. I'll just say pro/anti-abortion or abortion rights.

[Clo]

YOLO YOLO YOLO YOLO

[NorthernChaosGod]

YOLO YOLO YOLO YOLO

SWAG

[sharkythesharkdogg]

An aside back to the sandwich topic. Baby spinach instead of lettuce.


One of the big comments that annoys me is the combinations of, "I don't know how to do (blank). I heard you know, can you help me?"

"No that can't be right. You're way off. Thanks anyway."


Thanks for arguing with me on how to do something after you said you don't know how to do it, and asked for my help.

[Denmark]

"How did you two meet?"

[Jiro]

Just saying that sandwiches are the best.

[Beowulf]

SWAG, YOLO, GANGSTA!

Oh, and "Baby Daddy." I smurfing HATE that. God. If you're together, he's your BOYFRIEND. Not BABY DADDY. trout.

[Shiny]

People who ask me in really intrusive questions like, "Do you want kids" "Are you living with your boyfriend" "Do your parents care about you living with your boyfriend", or "What's your religious beliefs". Depending on the person, I will answer all of the questions, but I just find it odd when people I barely even know ask those questions...

Oh god, that reminds me how annoying it is when people ask questions like "so when are you getting married and/or have kids?" Or when I say I don't want kids, lots of people look shocked and say things like "you'll change your mind." Apparently everyone is expected to want the same things.

Being an active member of a church (yes, Wesley: shock, horror, etc) a year ago when I was a lot less mature, AND ONLY JUST TURNED 20 BARELY, I would tell people I didn't ever really want to get married. (This has changed.) They'd all say, "Oh, you'll change your mind." And I did. But it's really shitty and it undermines someone as a human being to say that their own opinion about their own life isn't valid, because it's not what society expects.


Fuck people, I am in a bad mood.
Yes...I told a lady I didn't want kids right now, and she said, "Oh, really? Wow!" Like it was that shocking for a twenty year old (well I was twenty then) not to want kids.

[Tigmafuzz]

{insert anything Sarah's parents say to her when I'm not there}

[Christmas]

{insert anything Sarah's parents say to her when I'm not there}

Nothing but praises. :bigsmile:

[Jiro]

So I have this... acquaintance who, instead of saying "you can't/cannot be serious" says "you gotta be serious." It irks me to no end.

[Tigmafuzz]

{insert anything Sarah's parents say to her when I'm not there}

Nothing but praises. :bigsmile:

If only :|


So I have this... acquaintance who, instead of saying "you can't/cannot be serious" says "you gotta be serious." It irks me to no end.

That... really sounds terrible. Gah.

[Gordon Freeman]

...

[Iceglow]

There's a few phrases what piss me off no end though one of the best ones I can think of right now would definitely be YOLO I mean sure, you only live once as far as we can tell however fuck you and your using it for doing stupid shit.

[blackmage_nuke]

So many of you are posting questions and commands, not statements...

[Pike]

I don't even know what the hell "Yolo" is.

[Raistlin]

You Only Live Once.

It's like carpe diem for people who don't know what carpe diem means.

[Bunny]

You Only Live Once.

She could have gone her entire life without hearing that phrase and been happy. You ruined that for her. You are as bad as Mercen-X if not worse.

[Madonna]

You Only Live Once.

It's like carpe diem for people who don't know what carpe diem means.You mean "for idiots".

[Unbreakable Will]

"I know what you mean."

Do you? Do you really?

"Pardon my French."

Nah I'd rather guillotine that motherfucker.

[Raistlin]

You Only Live Once.

It's like carpe diem for people who don't know what carpe diem means.
You mean "for idiots".

Well yeah, that's what I was getting at. :p

[Clo]

HOT ENOUGH FOR YA? AHAHAHA.

[Tigmafuzz]

So many of you are posting questions and commands, not statements...

That's why I refrained from posting "How's the weather up there?"

It's not my fault you're shorter than me, random person with no originality!

[Jiro]

Conversely, how's the weather down there? It's not easy, being short. Not that I can speak much about being vertically challenged these days.

[Jinx]

Here's one:

So-and-so is finding themselves.

[Night Fury]

There's a few phrases what piss me off no end though one of the best ones I can think of right now would definitely be YOLO I mean sure, you only live once as far as we can tell however smurf you and your using it for doing stupid trout.

Sometimes I like to be reminded that these losers only live once.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Conversely, how's the weather down there? It's not easy, being short. Not that I can speak much about being vertically challenged these days.

A tall person could always reply with that and then say "raining" so they spit on them.

[Tigmafuzz]

Here's one:

So-and-so is finding themselves.

So-and-so doesn't "know who they are deep down" and needs to try and figure out their place in the world?

So-and-so is trying to find a reason to keep living because they realized their life sucks and they aren't a good person?

So-and-so has amnesia and is on a quest to discover who they were before the incident?

So-and-so needs to go on some weird path of self-destruction because they have no idea having responsibility is like because So-and-so has the IQ of a toaster and has no value or meaning to his/her life so s/he has to try and do a bunch of random stupid shit that puts him/her in dangerous situations until they get to the point where they realize the people they're hanging around are complete idiots and they decide they want to go on living life because they just don't want to die even though they shouldn't be allowed to because they aren't the kind of person that can realize there are reasons to live that don't involve having to waste years of your life doing that stupid shit and learning how to grow as a person and gain valuable experiences the hard way because they've never heard of philosophy and they think of "learning" as a chore because of the ridiculously inefficient schooling system they grew up with?

Which So-and-so are we talking about here?

[Madonna]

Guys, let us take a soul quest. We will be stronger for it.

[Levian]

"I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but ... "

"I'm sorry to inform you that ... "

"I hate to be the one to tell you that [something]"

Basically anything that would worm itself out of the mouth of an obnoxious besserwisser named Hector who happened to be born at home in the bathtub of an obnoxious :bou::bou::bou::bou: named Helen who only digests spinach-based ecological protein bread and makes wholewheat cupcakes for events of any kind. National Organ Donor Day? Helen brought cupcakes. What a bitch.

[NorthernChaosGod]

"No offense, but..."

"I'm not racist, but..."

Pretty much any variation where the statement following but completely goes against the first part of the sentence.

[Night Fury]

"No offense, but..."

"I'm not racist, but..."

Pretty much any variation where the statement following but completely goes against the first part of the sentence.

Yes, this. Even though I'm completely guilty of saying 'no offense, but...'

>.>

[NorthernChaosGod]

You're an awful person. :colbert:

[Night Fury]

You're an awful person. :colbert:

I'm sorry :(

[G13]

"No offense, but..."

I have a friend who does this every time you do or say something he doesn't agree with, and he only adds the first part just so he has a way to defend himself when someone inevitably takes offense.

"No, sir, what I think you meant was 'I mean to offend you', but I can see how my having throat chopped you would prevent you from correcting that statement."

[NorthernChaosGod]

You're an awful person. :colbert:

I'm sorry :(
You should be, apology accepted.



"No offense, but..."

I have a friend who does this every time you do or say something he doesn't agree with, and he only adds the first part just so he has a way to defend himself when someone inevitably takes offense.

"No, sir, what I think you meant was 'I mean to offend you', but I can see how my having throat chopped you would prevent you from correcting that statement."

I like the way you deal with things. I'm stealing that.

[Shiny]

"No offense, but..."

"I'm not racist, but..."

Pretty much any variation where the statement following but completely goes against the first part of the sentence.
YES! I hate these two statements so much. It's like some how saying that is going to mitigate the fact that the person is actually being offensive and racist. And when people get called on such things they go, "Well I said no offense. Sheesh."

No offense, but I'm going to punch you in your face. :monster:

[Araciel]

'You're standing on my foot'

[Mirage]

"I'm Wesley and all of the women around me should be perpetually making sandwiches."

Some women just can't do anything else well :colbert:

not even trying to come off as a misogynist over here, but i have never had a bad sandwich made by a lady.

Not to brag or anything, but I've been the best chef in all my relationships.

It sucks pretty hard to know that you have to make things yourself if you want them to taste good.

[Pike]

not even trying to come off as a misogynist over here, but i have never had a bad sandwich made by a lady.

I'll make one for you and you'll change your tune

If it doesn't involve the microwave I don't know how to make it

[Jiro]

With all due respect... Though to be fair it doesn't annoy me as much as other comments.