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View Full Version : Marmite: Love or Hate?



Formalhaut
01-20-2013, 02:12 PM
It's another food thread! This one is very simple.


http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9t-yje4ZcMo/UL5y_o63fQI/AAAAAAAABa4/UVchwigS6yY/s1600/marmite.jpg

Love or Hate


You decide. And to tide you over, here's a generic image of a



http://www.spurgeon.org/~phil/images/marmite.jpg

Shauna
01-20-2013, 02:17 PM
Pass. ._.

Pike
01-20-2013, 02:27 PM
I don't think I have ever even seen this.

Faris
01-20-2013, 02:29 PM
You kids on the other side of the Atlantic and your silly foods. :lol:

Parker
01-20-2013, 02:42 PM
Marmite is great. I had an ex who had it with breakfast every day and I've since become a bit of an addict.

Chris
01-20-2013, 03:04 PM
Is this like that Vegemite stuff? Aussie cuisine is abnormal.

Aulayna
01-20-2013, 03:19 PM
Used to love it on toast as a kid. Granted I haven't had it since then either as it's not exactly top of the shopping list material!

Shorty
01-20-2013, 05:03 PM
I don't think I have ever even seen this.

This thread isn't for Americans, Pike.

QUICKLY EVACUATE THE AREA

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:13 PM
Americans are so lucky. They don't run the risk of coming across this industrial sludge. :(

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:14 PM
You know why the Ohio River caught fire in the 70s? Because someone took some Marmite over there and scooped it out into the river.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:15 PM
Of the 19 perpetrators of 9/11, 17 were confirmed fans of Marmite.

Shorty
01-20-2013, 05:15 PM
It doesn't look great, I'll say that. Yeast... spread? That sounds terrible.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:17 PM
Other lovers of Marmite include Iosef Stalin, Adolf Hitler, Pol Pot, Ho Chi Minh, General Franco, Benito Mussolini, Professor Salazar, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden (Interesting fact, all senior members of Al Qaeda must profess humility and devotion towards Marmite), and Robert Mugabe.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:19 PM
Marmite is manufactured by taking industrial waste, mixing it with the parts of a rat considered unsuitable for going into a hot dog, a single cow patty, and mixing it in a cauldron for three hours at a high temperature.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:20 PM
Before they ate Marmite, Bethesda made Morrowind. After trying Marmite, Bethesda made Oblivion.

Chris
01-20-2013, 05:21 PM
Milfie, you should stop drinking anymore tongiht.

Shorty
01-20-2013, 05:22 PM
No, be quiet, let him continue! I'm very interested in the atrocities of marmite.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:23 PM
Pope Leo XIII issued an encyclical condemning Marmite as "An Abomination unto the Lord" and calling for all true Christians, regardless of denomination, to put aside any schismatic or doctrinal differences and work together to destroy Marmite, and to invite anyone of other faiths to join in this holy mission.

Rantz
01-20-2013, 05:23 PM
Marmite is manufactured by taking industrial waste, mixing it with the parts of a rat considered unsuitable for going into a hot dog, a single cow patty, and mixing it in a cauldron for three hours at a high temperature.

Interesting. I might have to import a jar of it.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:27 PM
Whilst penning the Geneva Conventions, there was much scoffing over the need to include the use of Marmite as a crime against humanity or a war crime. "Surely", said S.K.u.K.H. Otto I von Habsburg, "Not even the most ignorant savage of Africa nor the most cruel bureaucrat of China would be so inhuman and deranged as to force the consumption of that unmentionable substance upon another."

He was sadly proven wrong when one of the foods offered to captured R.A.F. pilots in WW2 was Marmite. Several chose suicide instead.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:53 PM
"Marmite would end if the dead could return." - Stanley Baldwin

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:55 PM
NASA considered using Marmite as a new form of paint-on ablative heat shielding for shuttle re-entry, but computer simulations suggested that the Marmite burnt off in the course of descent would spread a poisonous cloud over hundreds of square miles.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:56 PM
Putting Marmite in a videogame results in an instant AO rating from the ESRB.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:58 PM
When the Titanic sank, she was known to be carrying a crate containing jars of Marmite.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 05:59 PM
Certain isolated tribes consider Marmite to be associated with a malevolent God. Some consider it parts of the God itself, some the God's leavings or blood, but all agree that various rites and even sacrifices must be made to hold the evil thing at bay. If the god were allowed to fully form the world would be destroyed.

Pumpkin
01-20-2013, 06:02 PM
I don't know what is.

MILF, please refrain from double or quadruple posting, thank you. You've been here long enough to know the rules.

:smash:

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 06:09 PM
Marmite causes a monumental breakdown in staff protocol.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 06:10 PM
The object of the CERN experiements at the LHC are primarily devoted to discovering a way to permanently and totally annihilate Marmite.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 06:13 PM
SETI has picked up transmissions which, after extensive decoding and analysis, strongly imply that Earth is under a galaxywide alien quarantine until such time as Marmite is eradicated.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 06:13 PM
Loony BoB likes Marmite.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 06:15 PM
The Zodiac Killer was actually overshadowed by an even more deranged murderer in the state of California - the Marmite Killer. Over the course of seventeen years MK murdered 13 known victims. He left their corpses laid out as though on a crucifix, with dots of Marmite placed on the palms and feet to represent Christ's stigmata.

Rantz
01-20-2013, 06:16 PM
Loony BoB likes Marmite.

Wait, you say this AFTER I order a jar? All that other stuff just made me interested, but this... :irked:

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 06:17 PM
The signatories of the world's various Antarctic Treaties have all agreed to never take the substance to the frozen continent. To date this is known to have been adhered to scrupulously by all parties.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 06:21 PM
In the early 20th century Marmite was commonly used as an ad-hoc adhesive substance to patch up holes in damaged airframes and ships. Though it saw some commendable service in this role during WW1, the years following saw escalating rates of cancer, schizophrenia, and cardiac arrest amongst both air crews and the Navy.

Raistlin
01-20-2013, 06:23 PM
I have never tried Marmite, and I consider its lack one of the US's best aspects.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 06:25 PM
The governments of the USA, UK, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, the Russian Federation, the People's Republic of China, and Japan maintain a top secret facility known only by the codename 'MYRMIDON'. It contains a number of ICBMs loaded not with nuclear payloads but Marmite. The only event in which they may be deployed, under any circumstances, and with the unanimous consent of all member countries, is in the event of a Lovecraftian horror breaking through into our reality.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 06:26 PM
If forced to choose between allowing Marmite into the US and abolishing the First Amendment, 98% of Americans chose to do away with that historic and vital document.

Shauna
01-20-2013, 06:53 PM
Loony BoB likes Marmite.

'nuff said, really.

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2013, 07:15 PM
Marmite is one of the key ingredients of Wildfire.

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2013, 07:17 PM
87% of all people who have tried Marmite have developed superpowers. The remaining 13% only benefitted from minor increases in strength, stamina, and sexual potency.

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2013, 07:18 PM
Recent studies have shown that a lack of Marmite causes stupidity in lab rats and Northern Irishmen.

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2013, 07:19 PM
When used as a lubricant, Marmite increases an engine's power by 306%, and makes anal sex considerably more enjoyable.

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2013, 07:19 PM
Elvis used Marmite in his hair, hence its gloss and splendour.

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2013, 07:20 PM
Dunmer are known to be Bosmer covered in Marmite.

Mister Adequate
01-20-2013, 07:21 PM
You're terrible at this Arthur. Just... stop. I'm embarrassed for you.

Huckleberry Quin
01-20-2013, 09:07 PM
Marmite consumption is known to reduce originality, and can cause rage blackouts.

Formalhaut
01-20-2013, 09:24 PM
Has this turned into the "historical uses for Marmite" thread?

fire_of_avalon
01-21-2013, 12:10 AM
I'm going to leave this open just for a few days more so everyone can take a good look at it before I put it in the archive. Congratulations, Formy. You'll go down in history.

Formalhaut
01-21-2013, 12:14 AM
I'm going to leave this open just for a few days more so everyone can take a good look at it before I put it in the archive. Congratulations, Formy. You'll go down in history.

YAAY! I'm stoked. I piece of me and my discussions will be archived. :D Thanks foa!

Raistlin
01-21-2013, 01:46 AM
I'm not sure if you are legitimately excited (which is a bit weird) or if you're just making fun of foa (which is understandable).

Formalhaut
01-21-2013, 01:56 AM
I'm not sure if you are legitimately excited (which is a bit weird) or if you're just making fun of foa (which is understandable).

Both. I've never have a thread archived, and making fun of foa is just the in thing to do on these forums right?

NorthernChaosGod
01-21-2013, 02:17 AM
Toasting in an epic bread.

Huckleberry Quin
01-21-2013, 11:28 AM
Both. I've never have a thread archived, and making fun of foa is just the in thing to do on these forums right?

Do you know what happens to the people who try to ridicule foa?

Neither do we.

Chris
01-21-2013, 12:31 PM
Hohoho! Making fun of FOA? Buddy... BUDDY. :D

Mister Adequate
01-21-2013, 06:01 PM
If you make fun of foa she makes you eat some Marmite.

Formalhaut
01-21-2013, 06:04 PM
If you make fun of foa she makes you eat some Marmite.

I happen to like marmite so that's actually quite nice. Thanks MILF.

qwertysaur
01-23-2013, 07:50 PM
Never had it. Never will want to have it.

Rantz
01-28-2013, 06:06 PM
Got a jar of the stuff delivered today. Smells suspicious. Will post my tasting experience in real time after dinner tonight.

Rantz
01-28-2013, 07:49 PM
Time to risk it all.

Formalhaut
01-28-2013, 07:50 PM
I'm literally on the edge of my seat.

Rantz
01-28-2013, 07:52 PM
This smells terrible. I'm scared.

Rantz
01-28-2013, 07:53 PM
Ummmmm

Rantz
01-28-2013, 07:53 PM
ACK

Rantz
01-28-2013, 07:53 PM
Eughhhh what is this

Rantz
01-28-2013, 07:54 PM
Did I accidentally order a jar of motor oil

Rantz
01-28-2013, 07:54 PM
get it out get it out get it out

Rantz
01-28-2013, 07:55 PM
*drinks a gallon of water*

Rantz
01-28-2013, 07:56 PM
Is this even made for consumption

Rantz
01-28-2013, 07:57 PM
I blame Formalhaut for this travesty.

Formalhaut
01-28-2013, 07:58 PM
I blame Formalhaut for this travesty.

Formalhaut: Making Rantz throw up since 2013. :D

Rantz
01-28-2013, 07:59 PM
Should've known from the Loony BoB post.

Rantz
01-28-2013, 08:00 PM
This contains... titanium dioxide and iron oxide? For the sake of gold flecks? What?

Rantz
01-28-2013, 08:01 PM
Literally worse than soy milk. Making it the worst thing I've ever tasted in my life. :stare:

Edit: Poll has been closed. :mad2:

Formalhaut
01-28-2013, 08:10 PM
Really? I quite like it. Not my favourite spread, but it's definitely edible.

Rantz
01-28-2013, 08:16 PM
Jar has been thrown in garbage; garbage has been incinerated. I threw away the very knife it polluted.

Shauna
01-28-2013, 08:51 PM
:( Poor Rantz.

Well, this is what happens when you listen to people who have bad taste.

qwertysaur
01-29-2013, 12:18 AM
looks like all of Rantzien's tastebuds voted, or at least the ones that were not too traumatized from the taste at least.

Parker
01-29-2013, 12:46 AM
You wasted the Gold Jar? I would've had it :(

Raistlin
01-29-2013, 01:09 AM
You may need to get your stomach pumped, Rantz. Humans are not designed to run on motor oil.

NorthernChaosGod
01-29-2013, 05:12 AM
I love you, Pontus. I hope you don't die.

Faris
01-29-2013, 03:25 PM
Jar has been thrown in garbage; garbage has been incinerated. I threw away the very knife it polluted.

Did it burn a pretty and unnatural colour?

Formalhaut
01-29-2013, 05:09 PM
Jar has been thrown in garbage; garbage has been incinerated. I threw away the very knife it polluted.

Did it burn a pretty and unnatural colour?

Nope, it probably dissolved into darkness, taking a cat with with it.

Shorty
01-29-2013, 05:15 PM
I revile the words I'm about to say, but you should have listened to Huxley, babe.

Bubba
01-29-2013, 05:34 PM
Worst Pick-up line ever alert...

Boy: "People say that I'm kind of like Marmite"
Girl: "What, you mean people either love you or hate you?"
Boy: "No... it's just that if you let me near your fanny you'll get a yeast infection..."

Mister Adequate
06-13-2013, 08:52 PM
I told you this would happen.

Pike
06-14-2013, 12:38 PM
You are a terrible Cid's Knight :zombert:

Mister Adequate
06-14-2013, 05:10 PM
Yeah Shorty!

Shorty
06-14-2013, 05:16 PM
How is this my fault? :doublecolbert:

Mister Adequate
06-14-2013, 07:27 PM
you should have listened to Huxley

Shorty
06-14-2013, 07:28 PM
how does that make me a terrible cid's knight in relation to marmite

edit: OH this thread is closed. Show's over, kids!