The never answered questions...

[NINJA_Ryu]

The Baron Castle question had me thinking....

If we wonder what Kain was doing, what was everyone else doing?

ITs going to be simple, I will post a question about someone or something that was never truly answered in the game, and then the next person answeres the question however they want.

Then, they can make thier own question, and the next person answers, repeats, and so on etc.

So here we go!

Why did Rosa get Desert Fever when Cecil and Rydia did not? They all went the same way...

[Evastio]

Cecil and Rydia were unconscious in the forest while Rosa was unconscious in the desert.

Why isn't there any story parts in Silvera/Mythril Town?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Because the dev team ran out of time :P

They were the overlooked towns, they had no crystals, so the forces of evil paid no attention to em.

Why does only Baron have airships?

[Cezanzo]

Because Baron had the most powerful military force, like the Red Wings.

How do the Crystals protect the planet or do whatever they do?

[aquatius]

'Cause they're shiny.

[Lawr]

Question?

Since you didn't ask one I'll ask one.

Why does everyone's heroic ultimate suicide attempt always result in them being alive in some bedroom except Tellah?

[VeloZer0]

Because Tellah is the only one old enough to have garnered the necessary suicide experience.

Why do you have to have 2-3 people always in the back row?

[f f freak]

Because the people who suggested that were stupid.

How come Rydia was able to survive the Bombs attack on her village but no other summoner was able to?

[Zeromus_X]

Plot device.

What exactly was Golbez doing before Zemus took control of his actions?

[Elite Lord Sigma]

Plot device.

What exactly was Golbez doing before Zemus took control of his actions?

He was minding his own business.

How can Edge do more damage throwing a spoon than he can with a shuriken?

[Evastio]

Because "Spoony" things are more powerful than they seem.

When you actually do get Tokita to join your team, when will he leave?

[Takara]

Whenever he freakin' wants to. You don't question the Japanese unless you want to get sued by an army of Law-Ninjas.

Seriously, who were those two kids in Bahamut's cave?

[abrojtm]

Bahamut's minions... of DEATH.

Why are there like 90% women in Troia?

[NeoCracker]

They only need a few men to do menial crap they don't want to do and fill nessessary town roles like old perverts. Other men are imported in from Mysidia to breed and then sent back.

Why did Rydia loose the ability to cast white magic?

[Wolf Kanno]

Cause she grew up into your sterotypical emo teenager. She's into dark things now, you would never understand! No one understands me!

How does a Sea serpent marry a hindu goddess and become rulers of the Land of Summoned Monsters?

[,,,]

Leviathan married her because eight hands come in handy in the bedroom. They seized power in a military coup. Easy when none of the summons know reflect.

Here's one that's always pissed me off: why does cid insist on jumping overboard with the bomb? Couldn't he just, you know, throw the bomb?

[f f freak]

Because Cid's beard got tangled with the bomb and he ended up throwing himself overboard instead of just the bomb.

Why can Edwards music kill monsters?

[Lawr]

Cus he sucks.

Why doesn't FuSoYa's Meteo kill him during a normal battle, but Tellah's kills him against Golbez.

[f f freak]

Because FuSoYa is a moon man.

Why do Rosa's arrows seem to never hit at all?

[ishashobar]

it adds to her helpless nature of being rescued.
when tellah used meteo why did it relese Kain and not golbez?

[Evastio]

Kain isn't a Lunarian.

Where can you find the Hand Axe in the SNES Version?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Right in the axes section

Duh

Why is Edge such a pedophile? (Rydia + Edge)

[Wolf Kanno]

It's not becuase he likes them young, it's cause she's a summoner. He's into kinky things.;)

How come FFIV is the only game that allows you to revive a character by smacking them upside the head with a frying pan? (Would have loved to see Cloud try it on Aerith...)

[Wild0ne]

Because Yang was never dead, he was in a room full of nymphos with wings, who wouldn't want to leave?

Why does the American version get the "Crystal Sword" and not the Ragnarock??

[Evastio]

The Ragnarok has... no wait. It does have 8 letters. I guess they wanted to make Cecil be equipped with all Crystal Equipment in the NA Version.

Where's the Silence Staff in the SNES Version?

[NINJA_Ryu]

The what? Only edge would want such a stealthy weapon.

But we all know SE hates ninjas, the bastards

Why didnt the monks have any Ki?

[Takara]

Mom Bomb ate all the Ki's.

What's up with Yang's hairdo, anyway?

[Evastio]

All Fabulian Monks need to have their hair like that. It's part of their outfit.

How come Porom can equip the Assassin Knife but Palom can't?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Because, its a sublte reference to Poroms homicidal tendencies.

someone can take my Q

[Evastio]

How come Tellah is the only Magic Caster that can't equip Bows and Arrows?

[Takara]

He has terrible aim. Since that one time he accidentally hit the Mysidian Elder in the butt with an arrow (you all thought he was banished from Mysidia for another reason, right?), the old geezer swore he'd never touch a bow again.

How come the adult female dwarves have beards?

[Firo Volondé]

So no-one can tell them (males and females) apart.

How come the characters never age, no matter how many years you play the game for?

[Rabidewok]

because its a magical land

Why do White chocobos only restore your MP?

[aquatius]

Because they have Ethers rubbed into their feathers but Edge stole the potions.

How come no-one notices when you stick the magma key in the well and the way to the underworld appears?

[f f freak]

Because everyone is blind.

Why does Edge throw spoons at people?

[NeoCracker]

It's a well known fact Spoons are far superior to powerful Ninja weaponry.

How does Cecil sleep in that armor?

[Evastio]

Very carefully. Either that or he couldn't sleep until he became a Paladin and lost all that heavy armor.

How come there aren't any Moogles in FFIV?

[Firo Volondé]

There are Moogles, they're just invisible.

Why doesn't Golbez kill Cecil at the start of the game, when he's at a really low level?

[Takara]

He could have, but, you see, the Red Wings threw that party at the whorehouse in Troia and... well, let's just say that both Golbez and that unlucky Black Chocobo never forgot that night after Golbez had one too many ales...

Why is it always daytime until the party decides it's time to sleep?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Because the whole party are vampires. Thats why they can deal so much more damage than a normal man. What did you think it was, silly numbers and weapons?

Why is Rubicante a total gentlemen, while his acomplices are total asses?

[Cezanzo]

Cuz he went to school

Why does Bahamut live on the moon, and not in the Land of Summons with his wife?

[,,,]

He's their god. If a God revealed itself to its creations, it would answer questions, decrease war, and generally make life easier. We can't have that.

Here's another one that pisses me off. How do Rosa and Rydia survive going to the moon hanging to the outside of the big whale?

[Jowy]

Ashura is Leviathan's wife. Leviathan is the King of Phantom Beasts, whereas Bahamut is the god. Bahamut has no wife.

[NeoCracker]

The huddled together keeping each other alive with the warmth and there bodies and using their lips to breath with eachother. What else?

Why is Zemus blue?

[Evastio]

Because he's all alone and he has no friends.

Who is the Evil Mask designed for?

[Firo Volondé]

The Evil Head so that nobody knows his identity.

Why isn't Kain called Lance? Seems like a much more appropriate name...

[Takara]

Because he threw a Dragoon-style fit when they tried to name him Lance. Rumours say Hironobu Sakaguchi actually cried that day.

Why are Rosa and Rydia actually wearing leotards?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Because, they lost in the "Choose Your World Saving Garb" game, where they drew straws and were the laughing stocks of the entire game.

Why is Cid the only charachter to have a poor victory dance? (constipation it seems)

[Wolf Kanno]

Cause he caught a disease in the last war. (filthy dwarven prostitutes...)

Since when can Dark Elves control magnetism?

[Mirage]

The elf didn't control magnetism, the entire cave was magnetic.


Because the whole party are vampires. Thats why they can deal so much more damage than a normal man. What did you think it was, silly numbers and weapons?
What? Vampires die when exposed to sunlight.



How come Porom can equip the Assassin Knife but Palom can't?
White mages aren't allowed to draw blood, and thus be stuck with blunt weapons. Too bad they ruined it with allowing them to use bows and arrows :(



Why is Edge such a pedophile? (Rydia + Edge)
Rydia isn't a preteen when Edge meets her :p, much less when they marry.

[NINJA_Ryu]

Mirage, you spoil the fun :(

And for the vampires, watch Blade :P

going to take your question?

[Mirage]

Blade is possibly the :skull::skull::skull::skull:tiest vampire film ever made. It even mixed werewolf lore into vampire lore, vampires have never been known for being weak to silver. It's still nice for mindless action though :p

Some of the questions just ticked me off, because they're clearly answered in the game, thus not being a "never answered question".

My question: Why do dark knights wear blue armour?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Because they are depressed emo fans.

Meh, if some are answered ingame, then folly on the poster, but no biggie, unless it gets pretty obvious like " Why did they beat Zemus?"

But anyone can take my Q

[Roogle]

Palom is the Twin Mage that can equip daggers; Porom is the Twin Mage that can equip staves.

[NeoCracker]

Why doesn't Rydia really exist? She's sexy

[KoShiatar]

Because all the males who tried to hit on her would get a Bahamut summon on their family jewels.

Why did Rosa choose Cecil over Kain? Kain was cooler!

[,,,]

Yes, but those spears were clearly overcompensation...

Here's yet another one that pisses me off. Why did they let Golbez's hand take the crystal in Giott castle? It was a freaking hand. They could have kicked it into the corner or something, but no, they stand there and practically cheer it on for no apparent reason as it crawls over to the crystal and steals it.

[Evastio]

They were too suprised at how Golbez' hand is still alive even though it's not attached.

How come Bombs don't drop the Bomb Summon?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Because, to drop the secret of bombs could provide other races a nearly inexhaustable energy source, fueling endless wars and strife across the globe.

Why is it so hard to kill freakin toads in Slyvan Cave? Why dont they must squash em?

and a second part of the question. Why o why is Yang and the fairies in the cave anyways? dont they notice the toads?

[Takara]

A.: They're mutant toads that are out to eat your brains, that's why they're so hard to kill. As to why Yang and the sylphs are in the cave despite the toad overpopulation... huh... well, Yang was in a vegetative coma and the sylphs were twits, so the toads weren't interested in their "inferior" brains. Besides, it's not like they got out of that house often, what's with all those Malboros lurking around.

Q.: How come the programmers put a Chocobo forest south of Troia if no one ever wanders down there since there's nothing but boring forest to explore?

Oh, and by the way...




Why is Edge such a pedophile? (Rydia + Edge)
Rydia isn't a preteen when Edge meets her :p, much less when they marry.

Uh... When did Rydia and Edge get married in-game?

[Zeromus_X]

It's most likely for people who don't know about the one spot of land near Troia to land on, and who land on the southern peninsula. With that Chocobo, they can skip through all the forest.

Who had all the time to construct trapdoors in every single door in the Sealed Cave?

[NeoCracker]

The Dwarve who got pissed off at people trying to steal the crystal. It's surprising how many people can get through the first door.

Why does Zeromus rely so much on hate instead of love?

[KoShiatar]

Because he's emo.

How did Cid lose a part of his teeth?

[NeoCracker]

OOc: But don'e EMo's rely on phony depresion and attention?

[KoShiatar]

OOc: But don'e EMo's rely on phony depresion and attention?

Sure. It's because he's depressed that he thinks he hates everyone.

[Evastio]

It got poked out when he was flying too close to The Baron Tower.

If Tellah did survive, what would his Lunar Trial be?

[NeoCracker]

He would have no lunar Trial. He's so pimpin he would have becme the lunar trial.

What would Zemus do if he saw cookies rain from the skya like they do in this forum?

[Eiko Guy]

Eat them and say"well I can't get these in the void u can all live"

If locke ate celes and rinoa was slutter what color would my underwear be?

[Rippers]

ORANGE!

whats the deal with the random crystal Golbez had at the end before the fight with zeromus... what is it and how did he get it?????????? i thought all the crystals were in the crystal palace trying to keep zemus all sealed-y

[NeoCracker]

Him and Fu-so-ya had secretly preformed an anctient ritual to create it. It is never shown because it was a ritual that looked like it was showed in Bible Black, but given that wouldn't be appropriate no matter how they altered it the decided to not tell you.

Why doesn't Kain kill Cecil in his sleep to get Rosa?

[Wolf Kanno]

He's tried... why else do you think Cecil wears his armor to bed?

Why didn't the Mysdians try to bore the Red Wings and Cecil with tales of the "old days" in order to thwart their attack?

[Rabidewok]

Cuz they are pansies.

Why do black chocobos only let you fly them around once before going back to their home?

[KoShiatar]

Because they are easily feeling homesick.

Where has Cid's daughter's mother gone?

[Rabidewok]

she got tired of cid's bad dental problem so she left to go whore herself out in Toria.

Why does the summoner village you destoryed in the beginning have no sign of destruction after the fact?

[NeoCracker]

Governmental Cover up.

Why does Rydia have Green hair?

[Evastio]

It runs in the family.

How come there are no Red Mages in Mysidia?

[Takara]

They ran out of red dye for the mages' uniforms.

Why is Damcyan a sucky, warm desert if it's so far up in the north?

[Wolf Kanno]

Edward's singing has caused the very land itself to fall ill...

Where's the loyalty to Cecil from his Red Wings? You would think he would have a few of his men join him...

[Rippers]

they all realised that being enemies with cecil was alot more favourable than being enemies with the King and whatnot so they chickened out cos they are sucky

why the lunar whale? i mean whats so dramatic about that? why call it the LUNAR WHALE? why not lunar COLOSSUS or somethin a little les... giggle-inducing :confused:

[,,,]

Someone on the staff made a bet with another guy that he couldn't work the phrase "get off the big whale" into the game.

But speaking of that, the game never explains how it got into a dragon. We never even see the dragon, they may as well have just said "it's at the bottom of the ocean." But no, they had to say dragon and now we have to wonder which end of the dragon the whale just came out of. Why dragon? What was up with that?

[Evastio]

The dragon was Leviathan.

Why can't you give Yang the Spoon?

[Takara]

Because there is no spoon. It's a mass hallucination Square created.

Why is Milon the only fiend you fight twice in a row?

[NeoCracker]

Because he is the only one who can self revive. Plus he was the coolest fiend.

Why does Edge where the face mask?

[Rabidewok]

Cuz hes really, really, really ugly.

Why do all the magic have sucky damage or healing power?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Because they took the cheap 1 year college courses on Magic.

Never trust places labeled: Magic 101! Tired of the wait, the discipline, and the hardship? Get your degree in one year or less!

Where do the monsters come from in random battles, and where do they go after they are defeated/dead?

[Evastio]

They came from their parents and they go to the moon when they die. That's why there's so many familiar monsters in the Remembrance floors.

What kind of magic is the Elder capable of casting?

[f f freak]

The "Elder" Can't cast any magic. He died but thanks to a government coverup they disguised some random person as him.

Why does Tellah not just cast life on his dead daughter to you know bring her back?

[NeoCracker]

He's lost his mind in his old age.

Why don't I want to ask a question?

[Takara]

Because Zemus is mind-controlling you and doesn't want you to ask that one question that came to your mind. So I'm going to ask it for you.

Zemus: boxers or briefs?

[Rippers]

briefs cos i have a dirty mind ;)

Is luca the only female dwarf in the whole of the underworld?

[Takara]

Yes. Dwarves are all perverted old pedophiles.

Speaking of Luca, what is it with her dolls?

[Evastio]

She finds them different because they're not dwarf dolls.

Why is the spinny effect gone in the GBA Version?

[Wolf Kanno]

Cecil requested that it be removed, he gets motion sick very easily I'm afraid...

Why did the Lunarians decide to bring all their "forbidden weapons" with them when they traveled to find a new homeworld?

[NeoCracker]

They didn't. They originally meant to bring the cheeto's, but Kluya messed up the packing. Thats the real reason why he made the Great whale to travel to earth, to escape the people trying to kill him for leaving behind the snackage.

Why are there no Pirates in this game?

[Takara]

Leviathan ate them all for lunch.

Who built the towers of Bab-Il and Zot?

[MJN SEIFER]

I am afraid I don't know that one.

But I just want to point out something to an old question.


we never even see the dragon,

We do and we don't. It is the suposed to be the shape of the land around the water where the wale comes from.

http://demented3d.com/ffiv/images/screens/237.jpg

This makes more sense if you look at the orignal ryme.



I have 2 questions am I aloud to ask them now.

[Evastio]

I think you're only allowed to ask one question at a time.

[MJN SEIFER]

ok.
I'll ask one.

How come some Lunarians (e.g. Fu So Ya and Ka Lu Ya) have sylablized names while others (e.g. Golbez and Zemus) don't?

[Rabidewok]

Cuz they are way too cool for all those sylablized names.

I don't have a question someone take mine.

[MJN SEIFER]

Why did the Mysidians just stand there and Let Cecil and the Red Wings kill them/Steal from them?

There Mages for God sake!!

[Evastio]

They're peace keepers and they don't like fighting.

Where did that ship that Cecil, Yang, Edward, and Rydia rode on go after Leviathan invaded it?

[NINJA_Ryu]

It went for a coffee break, naturally.

You would want something caffienated and warm if you just narrowly escaped the scourge of the seven seas.

Someone take mine, too early to think.

[MJN SEIFER]

thank you

[NeoCracker]

What made them think going by water is better than air, as Baron could have bombed the smurf out of the boat?

[Firo Volondé]

Because their boat is unsinkable, unless it has to sink in order to further the story.

Seriously, is Bahamut a man or a dragon?

[KoShiatar]

A dragon who can turn into a man.

What exactly is a BushHag?

[f f freak]

It is a Hag that lives in a Bush. Occassionally they ambush Princes with voices like Sirens and pretend to be Sahagins. They then proceed to project images of dead girlfriends which tell the princes to kick the BushHag's @$$.

Why does Meteor kill Tellah yet it doesn't kill FuSoYa?

[Evastio]

Tellah had to sacrifice his life to cast Meteor because he didn't have enough MP to cast it due to his old age and not being a Lunarian.

Which one is the superior race? Humans, Lunarians, or Demi-Lunarians? FuSoYa keeps changing his mind about that in the game.

[Wolf Kanno]

None of them are superior. Especially in the face of the mighty Chocobos!!! Haven't you played FFT?;)

How come Cecil is the only one to get a "special dance" from the fine upstanding ladies of the "oldest profession", in Trojan?

[Firo Volondé]

Because Cecil is hot.

What happened to the kick-ass weapons Cecil had on the airship, why not take them with him?

[Dr. Acula]

Because he has purple hair.

Why are Palom and Porom cooler than Rosa? Actually, why is EVERYONE cooler than Rosa? (And don't say she's a dumb tart, everyone knows that already.)

[MJN SEIFER]

Because you don't like her.

Why does dropping a key down a well have the effect it has?

[NeoCracker]

Because it has a bomb in it.

Why wont' Rydia sleep with me?

[Firo Volondé]

Because she's a fictional character created by Square.

Why does Kain have blonde hair?

[f f freak]

Because he dyed it that colour. Ya see he used to have a bright pink mohawk but everyone used to make fun of him because he looked more manly than the other male characters

someone can take my question.

[Takara]

Why does Edge's hair change from silvery-blue in his walking sprite, to white in his battle sprite, to lilac in in SNES menu sprite?

[Rabidewok]

Because being a ninja means you have to change appearances to avoid your enemies.. EVEN in the menu.


Why are black chocobos purple?

[Evastio]

If they were all black they'd be mistaken for crows.

How come the secret passage leading to the Enterprise isn't accessible until you defeat Cagnazzo?

[Takara]

Actually, it is. It's just that the people who usually loiter in that room are too blonde to notice the big freaking hole in the middle of the wall, and Cecil... well, his brain is made out of cheese. Like the moon. So he never noticed the big freaking hole either, even if there was a big neon "ENTRANCE TO CID'S SECRET LAIR WITH AIRSHIP - KEEP OUT!" sign right next to it, until Cid shoved him into the hole.

Someone can take my question, too tired to think of one.

[(CECIL120X]

why does everybody in the game never mind that people are going inside their house? :confused:

[NeoCracker]

They are all high on Canibus.

Why do dwarves live underground?

[Evastio]

Because they're too scared of Cecil in his dark knight armour. Once he becomes a paladin everyone knows that he's the one with the power of the (according to the Mysidian Elder) light and they don't mind him because of that.

[Edit] Not again. :(

They're afraid of the blue water.

Where does Cecil's Dark Knight Armor go when he becomes a paladin?

[NINJA_Ryu]

It gets donated to the goodwill, obviously!

How come this is the first FF with any charachter development?

[Takara]

Because they did stuff differently in the 90's.

How come there's only one readable book in bookcases?

[obsessed_wif_yuna]

cuz all the rest got the insidesz cut out to hiide liquer [sorry, i dont know how to spell it :(] bottlesz..

my question::
How come in the game you can slice someone in half wiid a sword and their still alive whereas in real life when you do that,, you get scentenced to life for murder.??

[Dr. Acula]

Because Rosa sleeps with every law-enfocing authority there is, and everyone gets off scott-free (as for the people who don't die straight away, its because of an immortality-inducing cheese they have in the cupboard. It wears off pretty quickly).

Someone can take my question, computer games have killed my imagination so I can't think of one.

[Evastio]

What happens when everyone in Mythril Town gets hit by Remedies?

[NeoCracker]

They'll need to buy new housed.

Why does the miner like tails so much?

[Evastio]

He finds pig tails too hard to get because they're always attached to pigs so he decided to collect other tails.

How come Bombs don't drop the Bomb Summon?

[Takara]

Because they're all forgetful and they forgot to carry it when they left their home this morning.

Why do chocobos like carrots in the SNES version?

[Dr. Acula]

Because of their long-forgotten rabbit gene which comes into play every time they see a carrot.

Why do I give such ridiculous answers to questions that people ask?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Dr. Acula, that is not a FFIV related question, either come up with a diffrent one or pass it on to someone else please.

^^ have a nice day

[Dr. Acula]

Ok, then someone can take my one.

[ReloadPsi]

Given that Nintendo censored just about everything else in the game, why oh why did they overlook the presence of hentai, as shown here?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v681/diehure/rydiatentacles.png

[Mirage]

Oh, those tentacles just want to play.

It seems inconvenient for the summoned monsters to have their village at the bottom of a monster-infested cave. Likewise, one would think that racial segregation would make it easier for racism to flourish. Why don't the summoned monsters try to integrate themselves into human society?

[ReloadPsi]

They're all closet cases who are afraid of homophobia.

Why does Rydia put herself in the front row, as soon as you meet her, when she's only level 1?

[Crossblades]

She has amnesia and thinks she's a warrior

What do you think the entire FF IV cast is doing 3 years after defeating Zeromus?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Prostitutiion. Times are tough when your entire kingdom and economy got nuked by evil.

someone take mine

[Dagga]

Because he's stupid! And he has um... wooden hands!

Why can the fat chocobo talk and the others go kweh?
Whoops didn't see the other pages....

[Takara]

It's because KluYa didn't die; he really got swallowed by the fat chocobo. That's him you hear talking from inside the chocobo's belly.

Where do our brave heroes go when they have to go to the bathroom if there are no bathrooms in FFIV?

[Snap Jumper]

Through a secret passage in each town. The censors blacked them out.

Why can't the Lunar Whale go underground?

[Evastio]

It's claustrophobic.

How often do Trap Doors brush their teeth?

[Jessweeee♪]

Twice a day :D



Why is the moon so small?

[Firo Volondé]

Because it's only a baby moon.

Why did the Engrish translators mistranslate Edwald's name as Edward?

[Goldenboko]

Because the actor playing Edwald died, and they needed someone else.

Why don't the Black Chocobos just leave the party stranded?

[ReloadPsi]

They didn't want to do anything that would make them an easy target for racial discrimination.

WHY CAN'T HE JUST DIE?! (The Demon Wall, that is... a question I kept screaming during the fight will finally be answered right now!)

[arcanedude34]

Because he has too many hit points.

How come everyone calls Cid an old man when he's claerly not?

[Goldenboko]

He is an old man, he just uses a crap load of Just for Men.

Why can't you ride the White Chocobo?

[arcanedude34]

Because they charge 100000000 gil a flight and Cecil would never pay that much.

What's the deal w/ the magazine in the producers' room?

[Takara]

It's not really porn; it's really a tattoo and body piercing magazine, summer edition, and the censors deemed it as "satanistic", hence why it was originally removed from the NA release.

Why are the two princes you meet in the course of the game both named "Edward"?

[arcanedude34]

Because they're brothers and they're both naed after their dad, Edward Sr.

After Rubicante got his ass handed to him the first time, why the hell does he heals the heroes before the four-fiends battle? Is he THAT retarded?

[ReloadPsi]

He most certainly is. What a tard.

Why don't the four fiends subsequently think to all attack you at the same time considering the massive advantage Rubicant just gave you?

[Dagga]

They're all brawn with no brains...
Why does namingway look like a supermario character?

[Goldenboko]

SHHHH! You'll let out Square's secret affair with Mario.

So... how did Cid survive?

[feioncastor]

He didn't. The man you meet in Giott's Castle who is laying in bed isn't the real Cid. It's actually Giott's brother, Roderick. He just puts on a huge beard and goggles, and fools you. The real Cid was almost instantly incinerated on the way down, and what was left splattered into nothing on impact.

[NINJA_Ryu]

question? or are you passing?

[Firo Volondé]

question? or are you passing?

How's that relate to FF4?

Anyway, no and yes. I am taking his question.

Why are Edge's parents suck sadistic bastards they gave their only child the name 'Edward Geraldine'? I mean why Geraldine?

[NeoCracker]

They wanted their kid to suffer for making them suffer.

Why didn't Scarmiglion just wait until you were on the bridge and cut the ropes, rather than fighting you twice on it?

[Evastio]

Scarmiglione and his soldiers were too starved to cut the ropes. They wanted to consume Cecil, Palom, Porom, and Tellah during the battle with them.

Where is the Tower of Zot closest to on the World Map?

[Takara]

Cecil's room.

Who in their right mind would name their kids Palom and Porom anyway?

[Dr. Acula]

For the same reason Tellah's parents named him Tellah. Cause they felt like it.

How come Cecil says "What?!" to everything?

[arcanedude34]

Because he has poor hearing.

How come Rydia has the ability to summon Golem when she's fighting Cecil, then loses it when she joins the party?

[Evastio]

The earthquake triggered a rockslide and a rock hit her on the head which gave her amnesia.

Why do Evil Masks always look suprised?

[rih29]

Because your party is so badass that even a floating evil mask says "WTF" out loud.

Why do the monsters always kill Tellah first?

[Wolf Kanno]

The "Spoony Bard" put a sign on his back that says "Kill me first!"

How come Baron magically becomes Odin when he dies and returns as a ghost?

[Evastio]

Soul of Odin + King Baron's Ghost = Mr. Baron Odin the Summon

What town was Dr. Lugae born in?

[NINJA_Ryu]

In the town neighboring Frankenstenia. All crazy mad scientists are around that area.

Do the three sisters (fat, tall and short) have any past history with Golbez? Since they pretty much appear to fit without any reason other than "We are here! Die!"

[Takara]

Yes, they do. Golbez is actually a pimp.

Just how much money would you have to pay Edge to see him wearing a pink tutu?

[Evastio]

More money than he'd be able to steal off anyone.

Who are the Ironbacks (those grey rodent-lizard things) sticking their tongue out at?

[Eiko Guy]

My friend Johnson

WHy does rydia have breast the same size as rosa even when shes a kid

[arcanedude34]

Implants.

Why does Kain get super-powerful when he turns evil, then back to normal when he turns good again?

[Evastio]

Because Golbez and his team uses Game Genies to cheat.

How come the Tail Collector in the SNES Version takes all your Pink Tails instead of one and then exchanges it for one Adamant Armor?

[arcanedude34]

He's greedy and cheep.

Why is there a town on mages, when they should be living among the rest of society?

[Wolf Kanno]

Mages are the nerds of the FF world so they built their own town to get away from jocks (Dark Knights, Dragoons, Monks, and just about anyone but "spoony bards")

Why does Meteo take smurfing forever to cast while Bahamut comes at your beck and call?

[rih29]

Well considering that fact that you're summoning a :skull::skull::skull::skull:load of rocks from outer space, I would guess that 30 seconds is plenty of time for me. It's not like a dragon should take any longer.

How the hell does Yang survive after throwing himself into a freaking room with a highly destructive laser that could blow the crap out of a city, yet you find him in a tavern with a bunch of guards, pretty much unhurt from all of it?

[ReloadPsi]

SHHHH! You'll let out Square's secret affair with Mario.
That happened back in '96 when Super Mario RPG was released. Anyway...

That never happened. However, if you're referring to his apperance in the Sylph Caves, that's because Yang is asian, and therefore capable of defying all laws of physics and biology. Look at the way those asians play Dance Dance Revolution; no caucasian could have such an invincible body.

Can Edward play the guitar? Does he know all about virtuosos, arpeggios, trembalos... well, can he do it all? Can he play your basic rhythm guitar, like "jug jigga jug jigga jug jigga jug jigga jug jigga JAH JAH, jiggidy jug jigga jug jigga jug jigga jug jigga jug jigga JAH JAAH!"? You know, something like that? Can he also play some pretty hott lixx, too? You know the kind that are just way up high on the tiny strings and you mash your fingers on 'em like "Meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley meedley MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"? Does Cid come in on his bass? Is he like "dou dow da dou da da DOU da dou da dou dou!"? Then does Palom come in on his keyboard like "boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boo!"? And is Edward subsequently like "And the dragon comes in the NIIIiiiiIIIiiiiIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIiiiIIGGHHT!"?

[KoShiatar]

Yes, he can. He actually is Yngwie Malmsteen in disguise. That's why he sucks at anything other than playing his harp.

[ReloadPsi]

We need a question, man.

[arcanedude34]

Someone else take his if he's not going to post one soon.

[Evastio]

Why are Red Worms red yet they're weak against fire?

[Takara]

They think it's a clever way to hide their elemental weakness because most stupid people will assume red=weak vs ice.

Next poster can take my question.

[Evastio]

Why are flans usually weak against spells that match their colour?

[arcanedude34]

See Takara's post.

Why does Cecil have to go into Paladin form/ Can't he be like Riku and embrace light AND dark?

[Wolf Kanno]

Haven't you figured out that Cecil is actually Michael Jackson? I'm waiting for Dark Cecil to come crashing down from the UFO that abducted him... (Extra points if you actually get that reference...)

Whose more senile, Tellah, Cid, or FuSoYa?

[ReloadPsi]

Cid; that old fart's so darn senile he actually forgets to die when he blows himself up.

How many Cure3 Potions in a dozen?

[Evastio]

There are 12 Cure3 potions in a dozen.

Why do some monsters in the Giant of Bab-il attack each other?

[arcanedude34]

They're competing with each other for mating rights with Rosa and Rydia.

Someone take mine.

[Jessweeee♪]

Haven't you figured out that Cecil is actually Michael Jackson? I'm waiting for Dark Cecil to come crashing down from the UFO that abducted him... (Extra points if you actually get that reference...)


oohooh ROBOT CHICKEN!!!


as for the previous poster's question:


How many spoony bards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[vivi"s son#7]

How many spoony bards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

42.

[Evastio]

I guess I'll take the next question.

Why isn't Lunar Asura considered a Mage in the bestiary yet Asura is?

[Cruise Control]

Because, it takes 12 pounds of moonlight to break a shingle.

Why doesn't Kain get a haircut?

[Yukki-Chan]

Its actually a part of his helmet and therefore metal

How come things Like huge explosions, being swallowed by sea monsters, being bombed and other such things not kill you while an overly spikey porcupine, a large bird and a few goblins can?

[KoShiatar]

Because it's called Final FANTASY. If it worked like reality, it wouldn't be that way.

How did Rosa become an archer?

[feioncastor]

Because she grew up with only a bent stick, a sharpened stick, a shoelace and a pocket full of dreams. She couldn't afford a staff, let alone a sword. Plus there was a huge rodent problem in Baron.

Someone take mine, I got nothing...

[NINJA_Ryu]

How much does an airship cost? More importantly, what makes up an airship?

[arcanedude34]

Its free, unless you are stupid enough to ask how much it costs. In that case, they swindle you out of most or all of your hard-earned gil. It's made out of moogle fur and chocobo bones. (Well, there had to be SOME reason that your party is one of the only ones to have airships. The hippies and tree-huggers kill every one who uses them but you, because you're tougher than them)

Why doesnt Edward fight back to Tellah during the 'Spoony Bard' battle?

[NINJA_Ryu]

Because spoony bards get negatives to thier dmg rolls.

Spoony? What kind of insult is that?

[Evastio]

The kind that combines music and kitchen cutlery.

How come Edge can't throw Dark Swords?

[Takara]

He can, he just decides not to because he's keeping them for his secret dark swords collection.

Not counting the children characters, which character would be most likely to order a Happy Meal if the cast stopped at McDonald's?

[ReloadPsi]

So if Palom, Porom and Rydia are out, that could only leave...
...Edge. He would definitely do it.

Is Kain transgender? I mean he's shown the overall unintelligence of your typical blonde, hasn't he?

[robfinalfantasy]

No. After the earthquake in Mist Valley he suffered head trauma.

If the great sage Tellah couldn't remove Palom and Porom's petrification, then how did the Mysidian Elder do it?

[Cruise Control]

With a thick Slavic accent.

How many King of Summons are there?

[arcanedude34]

As many as you want.

This bugs me- When the characters have seven out of the eight crystals, why do they have to go out and get the last one? What harm can Golbez do with it? AND WHY DO THEY BRING THE SEVEN CRYSTALS THEY HAVE WITH THEM? Its like they really didnt want to prevent the apacolypse.

[Evastio]

Golbez would've ended up stealing the key anyways. Either way Golbez would have gotten the last Dark Crystal.

Where were the first 2 Dark Crystals before Golbez stole them? (Not the ones that were behind Giott's throne and in the Sealed Cavern)

[arcanedude34]

He found them on eBay.

What happened to Kain's parents? (If this was actually answered in the game, next poster gets my question.)

[Evastio]

According to FFI & II Dawn of Souls Kain's dad died from the emperor and his mom died from old age. (it didn't actually say how his mom died but I'm guessing that's what happened)

When the rod is used as an item and the rod user uses a Shuriken where does the Shuriken come from?

[arcanedude34]

According to FFI & II Dawn of Souls Kain's dad died from the emperor and his mom died from old age. (it didn't actually say how his mom died but I'm guessing that's what happened)

When the rod is used as an item and the rod user uses a Shuriken where does the Shuriken come from?


What? That makes no sense. The only character capable of using shuriken is Edge and he can't equip rods...

Someone take mine, but Evastio, please explain this question.

[Dr. Acula]

How come you never get a BushHag in your party?

[Evastio]

Both Golbez and Leviathan took them all.

About my question: You know how you can use the Rod as an Item in battle when equipped and then a shuriken is thrown? Where does the shuriken come from?

[Wolf Kanno]

The other party members are revealing their secret desire to be ninjas.

Your right too Jesse1 you win the prize of being as much as a geek as anyone on this forum.:p

Back on topic... What has FuSoYa been doing all this time? I know he's protecting the sleeping Lunarians but you know he would probably be doing other things...

[Firo Volondé]

He draws moustaches on their faces with Magic Marker.

I repeat Dr. Acula's question.

[Evastio]

I don't think you're allowed to do that.

I guess I'll answer it anyways.

FuSoYa took all the "bush" in the FFIV universe so there's only hags left.

How do 3 Mad Ogres and an Elixir manage to fit themselves inside that treasure chest in Eblan Castle?

[Freya Coral]

Why did Rosa get Desert Fever when Cecil and Rydia did not? They all went the same way...

Because they wanted Rosa to be the "damsel in distress." :D

[NeoCracker]

I don't think you're allowed to do that.

I guess I'll answer it anyways.

FuSoYa took all the "bush" in the FFIV universe so there's only hags left.

How do 3 Mad Ogres and an Elixir manage to fit themselves inside that treasure chest in Eblan Castle?

The ogres had to spoon to do it. Thats why they were mad.

Why can't Edward play a good song?

[arcanedude34]

He does play good songs. The sound system of the SNES, Gameboy, and Playstation just distort the songs so much, they're barely tolerable.

Why is Cecil named Cecil in a midevil fantasy setting?

[Evastio]

It's a Lunarian name.

Why does the Toad Lady cast Toad on herself when she's alone?

[ReloadPsi]

She considers Cecil and his party far too ugly to satisfy her, uh, fetishes.

When Cecil becomes a Paladin, why is he clearly shown wearing a suit of armour, when in the menu all he has is ordinary Clothes? Speaking of which, what do these Clothes consist of anyways?

[NINJA_Ryu]

The clothes consist of white paddies, and he found them in the shrine. It was surrounded by the stuff.

Someone take my q

[Evastio]

Why are Generals such cowards?

[arcanedude34]

They don't get paid enough to be brave.

Someone take mine.

[Eiko Guy]

because they think cecil is <huck n0rris

Why does cecil's hair change colors all the time

[arcanedude34]

'Cuz Rosa tells him to.

Why is Rosa so blonde??

[Zeromus]

'Cuz Cecil let fall a chlorine bottle on her hair...

Why do chochobos sing that stupid song???

[Takara]

Because they're bored and they already drank all the booze, so they need something else to pass the time.

Speaking of boredom, what does Bahamut do with all that spare time in his lonely cave on the moon?

[Zeromus]

He tries to make better his ugly sprite... (not the battle one, the battle one is nice...)

From wich part of the body of the pink puff (Flan princess) u get the pink tail??? (if u see their sprite, u would never think they could have a tail =S)
http://www.videogamesprites.net/FinalFantasy4/Enemies/Flan%20Princess.gif

[Dr. Acula]

By "Pink Tail" they mean "Nostril Hair" that came out of the Flan Princesses microscopic nostrils.

Out of all the spies that old guy in Mysidia could have sent to spy on Cecil at Mt. Ordeals, why did he send two five-year-old kids with hardly any magic training?

[Zeromus]

Cause they was so annoying that he just wanted to get rid of them... he thought "now they are gonna die!!! ACHOOOOOOOO!!!"...
how bad they came back alive... that's why he send them again and with more luck they end up stoned there...

Why Sabin does not appear on FFIV xD... ??? (i trained him so much that i need him on any ff i play ...lol)

[arcanedude34]

Because he wasn't born yet... Not for two more installments anyway...

Why does Cid have a beard?

[Eiko Guy]

He needs a place to hide his viagra

Why do I die all the time

[NINJA_Ryu]

Thats not story wise relevant, and is a question for your skill. Please, change your question,or let someone else take your question.

[Evastio]

I guess I'll take the question.

Why doesn't Zemus attack back?

[Queen Anthai]

He subscribes to the Obi-Wan Kenobi "Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine" school of thought.

Why don't Cecil and Kain just make out already?

[arcanedude34]

Thats not story wise relevant, and is a question for your skill. Please, change your question,or let someone else take your question.


Umm... since when did it have to be?



He subscribes to the Obi-Wan Kenobi "Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine" school of thought.

Why don't Cecil and Kain just make out already?


They're not gay for each other. Duh. Cecil has Rosa and Yang for lovin and Kain likes to touch small childrens.

Why is Kain blonde?

[NINJA_Ryu]

To arcanedude: I dont mind the answers, you can respond in any wacky fashion as long as it answers the question.

However, with the questions, these are questions that deal with charachters, events, monsters, items, or anything else found in the game that wasnt addressed in the story. Questions about skill of the player, off topic questions, or already answered questions ingame (Like, do Rosa and Cecil get married in the end? They really seemed to like each other) will be null, and the poster will have to post another question or pass it on.

[Queen Anthai]

Why is Kain blonde?

Only his hairdresser knows for sure.

If a million monkeys were on a million typewriters, could they eventually produce FFIV yaoi that doesn't suck?

[Firo Volondé]

If a million monkeys were on a million typewriters, could they eventually produce FFIV yaoi that doesn't suck?

Silly, you can't make yaoi with typewriters! You need paintbrushes to do that... So, no, they couldn't.

How come, when Yang uses his power/deadly/whatever attack, it takes so freakin' long to charge?!

[Dr. Acula]

Because it uses so much energy (and Yang is lazy) he decides not to use it for a while.

Why is Kainazzo so unbelievably ugly?

[Takara]

Kain touched him when he was a little kid (damn perverted dragoon), and Kainazzo felt so dirty that he jumped into a basin of acid to get cleansed.

If ninjas are all stealthy and stuff, why the hell does Edge wear a bright orange cape?

[arcanedude34]

He's part of a super-secret squad of dual-class ninja-traffic cone that work diligently to protect the world from chaos, the apocalypse, horrifying doom, and drunk motorists.

Why do the Dwarves say Lali-Ho?

[KoShiatar]

Because it means "Gooday mate! Put another shrimp on the barb?" in Dwarven.

If Asura has three faces, how does she find the time to put makeup on all three in the morning before she goes to work?

[Evastio]

Her multiple arms more than make up the time. :D

Why don't Imp Captains drop the Imp Summon?

[arcanedude34]

Why would they? Really if you think about it logically, why would a monster you just killed give you the power to summon them at will to do your bidding? And if its not the ones you killed, then why would they have a scroll or whatever to summon more of their kind since they ARE one of their kind? And they could just form into parties if they want multiple fighters.

Uh, I mean... a wizard did it.

What did the wizard do?

[Eiko Guy]

Your mother.

How does the darkknight make darkness work (the attack)

[Dr. Acula]

He channels all the darkness in the world into his sword and unleashes it on people who are afraid of the dark. That might explain why it is always day time in the game, except for a few cutscenes where Cecil decided to spare the citizens of the world and let them sleep.

What cutlery does Edward use, spoons, forks or knives?

[arcanedude34]

None. Super secret Ninja-Traffic Cones only eat pizza.

Why is Final Fantasy IV so cool, yet so underappreciated?

[Mirage]

Underappreciated? Where did you get that idea?

[arcanedude34]

Its not exactly the most hailed of all the games. And where's your question? I guess I'll have to take it.

Doesn't Kain get hot in his armor?

[Zeromus]

He does, but he want to lose weight, that's why he almost enjoy sweating and tolerate the heat... maybe, if he lose weight, Rosa would like him...
Poor Kain... :nonono:

Btw, why does the Tricker/Li'l Murderer enemy appear always alone???
What was he doing there all alone in the moon???

[Takara]

Mastu-- erm... Playing with himself. Yeah. >_>

Who turned Cecil into a pig in Mysidia; the dancer or the old lady?

[KoShiatar]

The old lady disguised as a dancer. Cecil is so short-sighted he didn't see her wrinkles.

How are Phantom Beasts born?