My brush with death on the way to work.

So I'm be-bopping along, cruising down the interstate on my way to work today when I feel something alien run up my leg. It was moving fast, and I was wearing shorts. So what ever the smurf it was had made it dangerously close to my testicles very quickly. Unknown things moving aggressively towards your balls sends most men in to fight or flight mode. I swatted at my shorts (probably swirving across a few lanes) and something huge and green fell out of my pant leg.

It turns out she was a giant, upset praying mantis. She was longer than my hand, and I have no clue how she got in my car. I pulled over and let the little monster out.

She must have enjoyed scaring me, because as she left she mentioned ripping me in half with her giant mandibles and feasting on my entrails.

I explained that I was flattered, but that it sounded like typical female pillow talk. I wasn't interested. So dejected, and with out my testicles, she went on her way.

The end.

I have pics of the beast I'll upload when I have a little more time. She's really cool looking!

EDIT: Ah yes, I forgot! Share you brushes with death be they big or false alarms like mine.

I was up on some terraces that had some scattered trees with two other dudes while everyone else was looking about everywhere or sitting in one of a few trucks looking around. About half an hour earlier my truck had blown up from an IED and we were waiting for some explosive experts to get there. Suddenly, there were five loud explosions the shook the earth as the taliban opened an ambush with rpgs shot at the trucks and people on the ground. Then machine gun and ak fire was everywhere as they shot at us from three different directions. The trucks started shooting machine gun and grenade fire in one direction towards a tree-line while most of the people on the ground took some cover behind an old broken wall and started shooting back. The three of us on the terraces pretty much hit the ground and then started shooting out. Then about 100 meters to the south of me a machine gun opened up at some people down on the ground. I don't think they knew we were there because our two groups couldn't see each other through a little bit of trees or we probably would have been the ones shot at. One of the dudes I was with fired a rocket (LAW) at them while us other two laid waste to the place with our assault rifles. There were still a lot of rpgs and explosions rocking everything the whole time and after we fired our LAW someone decided it was a good idea to shoot another one up at us on the terraces. It hit close enough that I took some shrapnel from it but it didn't kill me so I kept fighting on and eventually an hour and a half later they were either all dead or ran away so we went home for the day.

Holy crap, how does anyone post their story after that?

Yeah, I'm glad you're basically okay and that pretty much wins the thread. I lost two friends who were in Afghanistan, and that's more that plenty.

I could talk about getting mortared or when I got knocked unconscious? :shrug:

I have two questions:
1. How many people have you killed?
2. What other injuries can you tell us about?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by theundeadhero

I could talk about getting mortared or when I got knocked unconscious? :shrug:

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Fortunately(I sometimes think), my MOS doesn't require me to leave the wire or necessarily engage the enemy. So the closest I have had was being mortared at while I slept. I've gotten so used to the explosions out here I mostly sleep through them. Luckily the mortar didn't hit or hurt anybody. But it was close enough to be scary.
I'm just an aircraft mechanic, but some of my crew chief friends have been shot at while flying. One bullet came inches from hitting one of my good friends. It hit less than a foot away from the window he looks out of.

Not as good as the other stories, but here's those pics of the large mantis. It's so cool!

http://i839.photobucket.com/albums/z...g/IMG_0470.jpg

http://i839.photobucket.com/albums/z...g/IMG_0469.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

I have two questions:
1. How many people have you killed?
2. What other injuries can you tell us about?

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NCG is trying to think of a non nerdy way to ask for your K/D Ratio. :S

I remember once when I was about 7 I was hit by a pickup truck. The lady behind the wheel was apparently insane and could barely see over the dash board. I managed to knock the headlight out when I was hit by my skull ricocheting into the headlight. When I woke up, I only had a bump on my head and a moderately sized gash on my arm. From what I heard the lady tried to commit suicide soon after out of guilt... after she found out that I was okay she ceased her attempt though.

I've unplugged the hard drive from a pc
while the pc was running
i am not sure why i am still alive
electricity was everywhere

I have a brush with death wish on the way to work

Not all that deadly, except OMGRabies, but

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-4...6/IMAG0261.jpg
hey lola what's that you brought in from outisde, strutting around with your tail raised high, acting like you're the queen of the ...

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-P...0/IMAG0262.jpg
what? a baby bat?! You mean cat! Good girl! Now let me have that.

That bug is huge! I would freak out if it was crawling over me.