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Originally Posted by
Spawn of Sephiroth
"If someone has multiple personalities and they threaten to kill theirself, do you have a hostage situation?"
No. Multiple personality disorder is a global conspiracy invented by drug companies and psychiatrists.
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"If they did go through with it, is it considered a suicide or murder?"
It's considered a tragedy. Show some respect, you insensitive jerk.
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Originally Posted by
The Ceej
¤ Why does sour cream have an expiration date? What's it going to do? Get fresh?
Because it's a legal requirement. It's going to taste like crap, which won't make much of a difference.
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¤ If a cannibal is eating a clown, does it taste funny?
Why does it have to be a cannibal? Why can't it be a lion or a leopard or a dinosaur or maybe even a giant metal robot death thing? And no, it would just taste of paint. I like to drink paint but only when it has lead in it.
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¤ If you drag a zebra across a price scanner, what happens?
The zebra would probably start bellowing at you, and you'd probably break your back because they're heavy. Have you guys ever seen zebras at the zoo? Man, those things stink! Why would you even want to go near one of those disgusting beasts?
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¤ Why does a baseball manager wear a uniform? What's the chance he's going to get in the game?
Maybe he just doesn't want to feel left out. There's no shame in following peer pressure. Cut the poor guy some slack.
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¤ Why do we never use the word, "cranny" all by itself? We always have to use the word, "nook" with it."
Whoa there, hold your horses. Who is this "we"? I use cranny all the time. "I pulled off this sick trick on my BMX, it was totally cranny." "Yeah my girlfriend's cranny was filled with jam and treacle." "My cranny is 86 years old." Maybe you should check your facts before posting a light-hearted statement in an unserious thread on a Final Fantasy forum.
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¤ If you're making sponge cake and you spill the batter, does it wipe itself up?
No. It only becomes a sponge once the appropriate level of heating has been applied, and then there is no goo to be wiped up. A crying shame.
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¤ Is it dangerous for a person with a glass eye to attend the opera?
The biggest danger for them is being called a pretentious prick.
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¤ If a person with bad eyesight is watching the TV show, 20/20, what happens?
They squint.
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¤ If a moose sees another moose, does he think, "Look at the rack on that"?
No, he probably thinks "HOOOOONK! HOOOOOOONK HONK HOOOOOOONK! HOOOOOOOOONK"
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¤ Can stupid people become dumbfounded?
HELLZ YEAH!
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¤ If a person has phone sex with men and women, are they bilingual?
No, they're someone I would mock heartily on this internet treasure trove that I call EoFF. lol phone sex.
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¤ If you get mono twice, do they call it stereo?
They call it a crappy immune system.
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¤ If a Cyclops goes to Lenscrafters, does he get glasses in half an hour?
No, the staff there will be swiftly devoured, and doomed to spend an eternity within his hairy belly.
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¤ When plumbers sleep, do they have pipe dreams?
No, they probably dream about goombas. I mean, wouldn't you if a dozen of them had tried to ram your legs?
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¤ Why is it when sheep get wet, they don't shrink?
I could make an easy joke about Welsh people and bodily fluids and whatnot but I don't want Old Manus to call me gay. Not again.
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¤ If a woman is very cranky very early in the morning, does she have AMS?
I like the use of two verys in this sentence. It really potrays the gravity of the situation. And who cares if she's cranky, just headbutt her or put her in a headlock or something. That'll settle her down real nice like.
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¤ Why is there still milk in a can of evaporated milk?
Just because it's evaporated that doesn't mean the milk simply stops existing and magically leaves the can.
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¤ Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do vegetarians still give head?
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¤ If you make a cow laugh, does milk come out of its nose?
When you're milking a cow you're basically just playing with its tits, you sick bestial mo'fo's. Also, I like to think that I would be responsible enough to wait until the cow had finished drinking before telling it a joke.
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¤ Is it possible to fly Virgin Airlines more than once?
Depends on if you are a member of the mile high club.
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¤ If Teflon doesn't stick to anything, how does it stick to the pan? If Super Glue sticks to everything, how does it come out of the tube? But what I really want to know is, if you put Super Glue on Teflon, who wins?
Magic; Sorcery; SCIENCE WINS.
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Originally Posted by
~Master Yoda~
Has anyone every bought a full price sofa?
No! Why would you buy one when you can find perfectly good ones (albeit covered with vomit/booze/fag stains/semen stains) in the front gardens of council houses?
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Originally Posted by
Harle-Quin
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because they're like Levian/Rye/Jojo/insert popular and yet dimunutive EoFFer here. They just want to see the tops of people's heads and check for dandruff. And they'll be damned if they just ask them to bend over. Well. Maybe not Lev.
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Why is it that we figured out that wheels on suitcases would be a good idea after having made it to the moon?
Suitcases come from the Moon. That's how they were discovered. Did you ever see Men in Black? Velcro is an alien invention.
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Why do people say "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every couple of hours?
Because it's less likely to get you lynch mobbed than saying "slept with a baby."
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If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a hearing?
American Sign Language. ASL. I love it. I wonder how you sign the noise of a judge banging their gavel. I don't really care about the answer to this question; I feel I have already addressed all the most pressing concerns regarding this matter.
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
So you can store things in those empty corners. Like horrible toppings (not pineapple. smurf off Jess pineapple on pizzas is brilliant.) that you don't want to eat.
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Originally Posted by blackmage_nuke
If a pondering is extremely idiotic does it annoy you as much as it does me?
Hecka naw, brah.
