This may seem rather juvenile to most of you, I'm 23 years old and have missed work

You think that's something? 24 here, late every single day.

But late at my job is really relative. I'm salary, so they don't really keep track of me, and I usually stay for a complete, or close to complete, 8 hours (minus lunch break). I will sometime either be extremely late when the roads are bad, or just not go at all. This I don't do often, but it doesn't seem to have any real repercussions.

So the moral of the story is, just get a job where no one gives a crap, or only mildly gives a crap.

I don't go to work, ever.

...

I don't have a job.

In my line of work, you're the person I like least, Seifer. I will make you be on time or die trying.

In my line of work, late is often ok since a lot of our work has to be after people go home anyway :p People get annoyed when we make all the computers unusable during the day :p

Why is my post bolded?

I nearly broke a $20 000 Pizza oven by getting the crumb tray stuck in the belt..... But it didn't break, so I said ':bou::bou::bou::bou:, my bad' and went back to work. My bosses are cool like that. You have to do something seriously rebellious to get fired at my work, we're all pretty good mates.

I'd just apologise and try and make up for it by working super hard for the next few days until all is forgotten.

skipping work is common enough, make up some cock and bull about needing the time for personal reasons (note personal reasons is the golden phrase, you can pull a sickie stating this the manager can attempt to pry in to the reasons why but you legally can say "I'm sorry, it's too private. I really don't wanna discuss it" and they can't push past it) and grovel a bit, offer to make the hours up and you'll be fine.

I care for old people so I can't screw up or they die. But saying that, I've lost count of the amount of times someone's asked for a cuppa and I'm promptly forgotten to make one.

I was two hours late to my first day at work once.

I was honest and told them that I slept through my alarm because I wasn't used to getting up so early. It didn't happen again. They didn't care.