Marick D. Pauper Plays The Political Machine 2012!!!!!

At This Point, We've Just Lost Track

Campaign spirits are discouraged at this point:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00109.jpg

The media just keeps hammering us.

Time to bust out the trump card...

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00110.jpg

That's right! We're gonna start calling him a Muslin! Ain't no Muslin gonna take God outta our schools, off our money, or outta our lives! What better place to spread God's wrath than in California!

While we're here:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00113.jpg

Ah, that's nice. We can always count on Hollywood conservatives to give generously. Thank you Ben Stein.

Also, how can our business leaders promote job growth!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00114.jpg

Via higher taxes, he is crippling job creators!

Oh crap! We almost forgot we had a 3:30 event booked in Texas...

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00116.jpg

This just in: Texans are half as generous as Californians.

And then we had to fly back to Cali... our work wasn't done:

More importantly:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00117.jpg

It's a battleground state! Let's capitalize on our ever increasing popularity!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00119.jpg

That was fun, but we have a speaking event scheduled back in Cleveland!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00121.jpg

About Unemployment. This is serious! We need to put our economy in God's hands. Get government out of the way, and just pray the recession away!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00122.jpg

Stinginess is not next to Godliness...

I decided to let Paul Ryan move over to Cali to battle Nanci Pelosi.

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00123.jpg

Beatrice keeps asking: "Marick, why does the map have so much more blue?"

I assure her that everything changes near the end of the election...

Instead I convince her to:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00124.jpg

We just need more money. That BurrrockroBrama just keeps making money like crazy.

And now, off to Wisconsin:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00128.jpg

We need to oppose oppressive labor and state unions that threaten to run up state budget deficits. The theme in Wisconsin is that Scott Walker is close to God, so he must be right.

However, what we found out is that the Wisconsinians (?) have donated all their spare money to the church that they barely had anything left over for us:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00129.jpg

Running low on funds, we high tail it back to our bank: California.

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00130.jpg

Our work in Wisconsin didn't pay off:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00131.jpg

Beatrice is alarmed at our results, but I assured her that everything is fine. We're just getting ready to launch a surprise attack that no one suspects...

Then she threw this on my desk:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00132.jpg

I had to admit, the polls didn't look good. But I assured her that the polls were just that, polls. They didn't accurately reflect public opinion. We still had plenty of time... I think.

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00133.jpg

Oh no! We're almost out of time!

Well you obviously need to do more campaigning in Vermont! Did you even go to NH?

This is gonna be good!

Oh trout man. Better start praying. Those dirty Democrats are going to make our great nation into a godless, faggot loving hell on earth! :(

You mean they haven't already? :monster:

Finale!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00134.jpg

OH MY GOODNESS! THE WIRE!!!

We have to WIN CALIFORNIA FROM THE GODLESS LIBERALS!!!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00135.jpg

There's not an alternative! If we can take California, we may not win, but we will have the moral victory!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00136.jpg

Time to go back to our HQ back in Colorado! We're going to throw the biggest party of the campaign, and win or lose, we'll still be drinking the blood of Christ.

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00138.jpg

Oh, and this is a map of where we are well known...

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00139.jpg

And here are the national polls:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00142.jpg

(I didn't realize that random electoral votes would dramatically mess things up... Some states had like 70, and some really populated ones were super low.... everything was randomized... whoops.)


As the results came in:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00149.jpg

We knew we lost New England. We only went to New York once... We didn't go to any other state...

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00153.jpg

The next batch of states started setting the tone. Beatrice was clinging to her Bible and speaking in tongues.. We were all a little worried.

Then...

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00154.jpg

A shining beacon of hope in the South!!! We were going to win!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00158.jpg

And a few more states go RED!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00163.jpg

And two more! Beatrice, renewed with piss and vinegar, started praising Jesus' name!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00165.jpg

TAKE THAT! MICHIGAN, HOME OF AUTO WORKERS, LOVES US!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00170.jpg

Who knew you had to campaign in all these southern states to win them...?

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00173.jpg

Or those Midwestern states...

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00175.jpg

Oh, but we won Texas. Everything is bigger in Texas.

We're picking up votes!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00179.jpg

Our presence in the West was much more pronounced...

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00184.jpg

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00189.jpg

We're still behind... no way to catch up... Beatrice Stone called President Brock Hussiny NoBama. We're crushed, some of us tear up.

We even lost Alaska...

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00192.jpg

The Final Map:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00193.jpg

Then came the brutal part:

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00194.jpg

The public concession to America, to our campaign, to the world. This nation had abandoned God, and in doing so, damned itself to more spending, the killing of seniors, gay marriage and forced abortions!

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j2...8-11_00196.jpg

:( :( :( :(



-FIN-

Awww poor Beatrice :(

You did as bad as McCain/Palin.

Just so we're clear, Pauper was only able to accomplish about as much as a campaign involving Sarah Palin.

Dammit man! What are we going to become with these heathens leading God's people on the path to hell again!? YOU HAVE DOOMED US ALL.

Hang on now...


You finished a thread?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Old Manus

Hang on now...


You finished a thread?

---

Now where is my Recognized Member Title?

Marick finishing a thread is the only shred of proof that the Mayans were right about 2012 as far as I am concerned.

Is the game weighted any? I mean, are those scumbag democrats going to win no matter what you do? :(

No. I won a second game when I picked Ron Paul as Veep and didn't randomize everything. I was also running against Al Franken

The lesson of this story is that Ron Paul would have been a much better VP choice than Paul Ryan was.