The First Fascist Party of Eyes on Final Fantasy

In a village full of idiots the fool is king.

Breaking News!
Psychotic uses eyedrops, and never gets gunk in his eyes!

Even Breakier News!
Del Murder doesn't even have eyes. In fact, he doesn't even have a face!

Marick D. Pauper would join this party if he wasn't a journalist with integrity.

What more integrity could you want? We're a real party tackling a real issue.

A real issue?

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Matoya and I am very very concerned. It seems to me you're coming at the forums with your eyes closed! Do I appreciate gunk in my eyes? Well, no, I do not. But what's a little dirt in your eye compared to real victory? We're talking bribery, political corruption, and lies here. If you stop along the way to wipe the dirt out of your eyes every times it's there you'll never make it to the issues Eyes on Final Fantasy cares about. I see no substance here, no message to the masses, no content. What are you hiding behind your eyes? What are your intentions? It is my plans to wipe away the gunk you're throwing in Eyes on's eyes so they can clearly see what you represent.

Story!
A discerning citizen sent this informative information to me and I present it to you now, unaltered:

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Originally Posted by maybe a pastry chef?

The eye gunk party is a front. I think we all can see that clearly. The secret is, though, that the front is just a front for another front, and so the original front is just a back, and at the back of things, eye gunk cannot really be differentiated from ass cheese, and ass cheese, in many developing countries, as you know, is a clever euphemism for yellowcake which is a clever euphemism for concentrate of uranium which of course can be enriched for use in nuclear weapons.

However the nuclear weapon connection is just a ploy. I have it on good authority that they plan to impregnate Del Murder with the antichrist, in an even bigger miracle than the virgin mary's birth of the Christ figure. The virgin Murder will bear, through an immaculate conception, the spawn of Satan. Now, in order for them to establish the link to the underworld needed to enact the ritual, they have to have tons of enriched uranium, both for its pungent odor and for its aphrodisiac appeal to the denizens of hell, who use it when they can find it to hold massive hellish orgies.

Fortunately for the rest of the world, however, Del Murdotic, Psychoder, or whatever you want to call it, is a bumbling idiot and their clan spends all day sniffing each others' asses and not getting anything accomplished. So likely nothing will come of it.

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Finally a party I can get behind.

I'm in, as long as I'm El Presidente.

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Originally Posted by Matoya

What are you hiding behind your eyes?

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Optic nerves.

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What are your intentions?

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To stand for election and see what happens.

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It is my plans to wipe away the gunk you're throwing in Eyes on's eyes so they can clearly see what you represent.

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I don't think I've thrown anything in Eyes on's eyes. I think Eyes on's eyes are firmly on Final Fantasy, so any gunk thrown wouldn't reach anyway.

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Originally Posted by Rob Roy

Del Murdotic, Psychoder, or whatever you want to call it, is a bumbling idiot

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I guarantee I have a higher IQ than whoever wrote that. That's not to say I'm not a bumbling idiot - I very much am - but I suspect whoever wrote it is not so much idiot as good ol' fashioned dumb.

Welcome to the Jungle, Stu. We got fun and games.

I see I was added to the Members list - at which point can I expect to be added to a separate, superior El Presidentes list?

Oh, alright then, but only because it's you. :aimkiss:

Hot Tip!
Sources very close to Del Murder claim that he huffs none other than glue!
Steamy Hot Tip!
Del Murder's grandma is a total fox and he's hiding the goods from all of us.

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Originally Posted by Rob Roy

Hot Tip!
Sources very close to Del Murder claim that he huffs none other than glue!

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I will find and brutally slaughter whoever told you that, mark my words.

Anyone who hasn't joined this party yet is really missing out on the fun of confusing the entire forum.

... Wtf is going on here?

... That was rhetorical, I don't expect an answer to that question. There never is.

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Originally Posted by Nikki

... Wtf is going on here?

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We're posting in a party thread for the EoFF elections.

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... That was rhetorical, I don't expect an answer to that question. There never is.

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Oh, sorry.