Ford it.
Wait, is Bert over three feet tall?
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Ford it.
Wait, is Bert over three feet tall?
Ford it.
Also $6.60 to take the smurfing ferry? That's robbery!
Ford that bitch. And rob the ferry.
Congratulations, team! We have successfully forded the river.
So far we're approximately 1000000 times more awesome than Psychotic's team
This place is River Central. Shall we ford again?
Attachment 36447
This.Quote:
Originally Posted by Del Murder
Also, ford it.
Two feet? MILF's nuts hang lower than that. Ford it.
That's two rivers down without incident! (Three if you count the frozen one.)
Feels pretty soothing to drag my ballbag along the rocky riverbed, let me tell you. Really scratches an itch.
I do.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pike
And how many rivers did Psychotic's team have their wagon tip over in?
3 1/2 feet?? This one might be a little trickier!
Attachment 36448
Ford it.
Ford it.
Ford it.
Okay we'll ford it, three and a half feet is no biggie and OXEN NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Attachment 36450
We lost several pounds of bacon and three boxes of bullets, by the way.
Blame it on the oxen.
NOT THE BULLETS D:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pike
Bullets dry.
that was a deep 3 1/2 feet!
ARE WE THERE YET???
See, it's not our fault :aimmad: You guys suck at rivers, too!
Shut up Sarah by the time you got this far you'd lost half your supplies and Jessweeeee was dead.
3/4Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorty
We lost bacon, Huxley. Bacon was not half our supplies.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
ALSO NO ONE DIED and I hope you get the rickets
On the plus side we shot a stag. You might say it's a... stag party over here.
Attachment 36451
SHOOT IT...
oh, I'm late. :>
Looks more like I've got us some venison. :smug: How rapidly did you replace your great quantities of lost supplies, Sarah? :smug: Was it within hours of losing them? :smug:Quote:
Originally Posted by ShortyWe lost bacon, Huxley. Bacon was not half our supplies.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
ALSO NO ONE DIED and I hope you get the rickets
Oooh, a fort. These places sell ammunition, right? I mean, it's the military, right?
Attachment 36452
Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILFLooks more like I've got us some venison. :smug: How rapidly did you replace your great quantities of lost supplies, Sarah? :smug: Was it within hours of losing them? :smug:Quote:
Originally Posted by ShortyWe lost bacon, Huxley. Bacon was not half our supplies.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
ALSO NO ONE DIED and I hope you get the rickets
I like this.
Something happened to our guns. It's Pike's fault.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILFLooks more like I've got us some venison. :smug: How rapidly did you replace your great quantities of lost supplies, Sarah? :smug: Was it within hours of losing them? :smug:Quote:
Originally Posted by ShortyWe lost bacon, Huxley. Bacon was not half our supplies.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
ALSO NO ONE DIED and I hope you get the rickets
Visit it.
Get ammo at the fort.
A FORT! Can we take it? I bet it's mostly just regular bandits in there so we should be fine. I'll solo it as I am a stealthy Khajiit type, then we can raid it for supplies and strikingly small quantities of gold.
....Hey, wait a minute, was I left behind from the start?
Don't worry, Proto, we aren't very far along at all.
I went into the fort and bought us some ammo.
What happened was they all fell overboard when your wagon fell over fourteen thousand times. Because you are terrible and incompetent at crossing rivers, in comparison to our peerless expertise. :smug:Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorty
Attachment 36453
OH GOD WAT DO
(also: In b4 MILF volunteers to use the "suction method".)
Yeah, we lost food and ammo and within minutes got it all back. Go team!
I think we need to bind Tifa's Boobs very tightly and then use the suction method.
Depends on where the bite took place, right?
I have two words for you:
Suck it.
All male members of my party use suction method
And then I get up and exercise because, like Iceglow, I can walk off anything.
Your guns are useless without ammo and I can't wait until you drown when your wagon tips over again in three feet of water.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILFWhat happened was they all fell overboard when your wagon fell over fourteen thousand times. Because you are terrible and incompetent at crossing rivers, in comparison to our peerless expertise. :smug:Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorty
SUCTION METHOD INCOMING
Good thing we just BOUGHT SOME AMMO THENQuote:
Originally Posted by ShortyYour guns are useless without ammo and I can't wait until you drown when your wagon tips over again in three feet of water.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILFWhat happened was they all fell overboard when your wagon fell over fourteen thousand times. Because you are terrible and incompetent at crossing rivers, in comparison to our peerless expertise. :smug:Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorty
oh hell with you
ilu2 bbcks :aimkiss:
Attachment 36454
I can't tell if you guys are sucking too hard, or not sucking hard enough.
oh smurf
tifa's boobs gon die
If that constitutes "fair health" I'm smurfing dreading what "poor" must be.
I won't be happy until you're dead on this journey.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
You sound pretty mad dear. Maybe you should smoke some of the 'erb and relax mon.Quote:
Originally Posted by ShortyI won't be happy until you're dead on this journey.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
We should probably rest. And if need be, put her down.
You can take my lifeQuote:
Originally Posted by Del Murder
but you'll never take my guns
Attachment 36455
Ford it?
Ford it.
It's like she's already drunk in that condition.
smurf, why am I behind you guys. I need to catch up.
Three smurfing thousand feet wide? What is it, Sarah's butt?
Check the conditions.
Checking the conditions just tells us the all the stuff at the bottom of the screenshot. Anything else would be much too useful!Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
Ahhh see I thought that it would give a popup like "The river is currently lazy" and you could wait for better conditions or whatever.
FORD IT!
I've been drunk since Westport, Proots.
FORD IT
only 2 ft deep. WE CAN DO THIS
Another river successfully navigated! /smug
Atleast my fat ass made it out alive! You're going to accidentally get shot by Murder's gun frenzy and I'm going to dance on your grave :aimkiss:Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
Ford!
Attachment 36456
All that sucking made Tifa's Boobs feel good.
I dunno we managed to just ford a two foot deep river, which means we're pretty confirmed for more competent than your party will ever be. I'm sure if Murd goes on a gun frenzy the people he shoots will all be shot quite deliberately!Quote:
Originally Posted by ShortyAtleast my fat ass made it out alive! You're going to accidentally get shot by Murder's gun frenzy and I'm going to dance on your grave :aimkiss:Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
;D ;D ;D
it's like this game knows me or something
I knew all that pain was just a bluff.
QUICK WHERE'S DAK, HE CAN LEAD US ACROSS!
Attachment 36457
shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
ford that sonbitch
Ford it.
Another river successfully crossed! Good work, team! :aimkiss:
This is boring. Shoot more stuff.
I'm surprised our wagon doesn't sink to the bottom, since it's entirely made up of guns.
River crossings: the game
Attachment 36458
Ford it
ALSO ARE THOSE STORM CLOUDS
Tranquil? It's an ambush. Take the ferry.
Just for Murd, I went hunting and shot us a bear.
Attachment 36459
smurf YEAH!
YES!
So shall we ford or ferry?
ALPHA AS smurf!
What now Moonflower Starchild?
Chevy it.
I mean ford it.
We haven't failed yet, so go ford it.
Another successful crossing. And the Mormon Ferry Trading Post is on the other side! Time for hot multiple wives action again?
Attachment 36460
Run fast.
There should be enough of them for us guys, right? /smug
Poor little guy. :(
Attachment 36461
There aren't enough Mormon men for me, though. :(
Increase fluids.
I don't trust them. *cocks rifle*
Oh hey time for Sarah again :) Sarah why are you such a devout Mormon?
Pump him full of fluids, and if that doesn't work, full of lead.
Fluids have been increased for wee lil' Bert.
Now look! Time to go hiking! Yay!
Attachment 36462
Continue up the hill.
I think those hills, much like Tifa's Boobs, need to be double teamed.
Attachment 36463Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
And apparently we're all much too lazy to pick it back up and put it back in the wagon.
HEYO!Quote:
Originally Posted by Del Murder
Ropes and chains
that sounds kinky
That worked!Quote:
Originally Posted by Del Murder
Oh no the wagon fell over
Let's get it upright again
And just leave all our trout lying on the groud.
:confused: This is some woman-tier logic right here. "Ooooh ewww the box it's in touched the ground we can't eat it now!"
52 lbs of bacon??!? NOOOOO
>check on thread
>see tipped wagon
>start laughing like Tidus at work
>people start staring
This is the greatest thread in ages.
I think we're just lucky the damn thing didn't explode on impact.
Attachment 36464
Okay guys
I don't think "fording" is gonna work on this one.
I hope you didn't mind the fact we lost 140 bullets, Del.
CAULK!
cock it
We cocked that river nice and hard.
Got to ride that caulk baby!
i like a nice hard caulking
THIS IS IT!
THIS IS THE MOTHER OF ALL RIVER CROSSINGS!
Attachment 36465
dun dun dun. FORD IT! :D
[insert caulk pun here]
FORD IT
but really no, caulk it
See who is around.
seconded.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
(SPOILER)The river has been crossed. :jess:
Sure, I haven't shot anyone in hours.
EDIT: We'll kill people at the next one then.
Well I was thinking we might find some horrible little Stevelike gremlin creature to take us through his dank underground den to the other side, but crossing by caulking works too!
Unfortunately for Murd, shooting it is not an option.
Attachment 36466
At the next river, Hux. *pat pat*Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
Get advice.
Get advice? I only know shoot.
Oh no, poor Sarah :( Let's rest and let her recover :)
e; It is an animal Del it will not be capable of giving advice.
ABANDON
Attachment 36467
There is admittedly something suspicious about a guy who just totes a guitar around everywhere like this
What is Dwight from the Office doing here?!Quote:
Originally Posted by Pike
Okay, I vote we SLOW DOWN.
Let's shoot him while we're at it.
I vote we do whatever it takes to get away from that dead-eyed horror.
ARE THEY CREEPY UNDEADS AGAIN?
Attachment 36468
Yes. Wait and see what they do. If they move towards us open fire.
Wait to see what they do
Attachment 36469
Phew, that was a close one :shobon:
I'll flank them while you guys wait.
Is that little icon of a chinaman?
That's racist, Tifa's Boobs. It's obviously a Mexican.
Yeah, your insensitive comment offends Julian.
It's actually a black guy.
Good news everyone! I took Murd hunting and we shot a bear. This is mostly good news because the old man was getting really trigger-happy.
Attachment 36470
YES MORE KILLING
Attachment 36471
WHO WANTS TO USE THE SUCTION METHOD ON PROTO?
30 is so old
Bert. Bert does.
GIVE HIM LOTS OF EXERCISE
...ADVICE
Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
Attachment 36472
Yeah Proto, it's your own fault!
(I wonder whose fault this guy's crimes against fashion are, though!)
Victim-blaming privileged mustachioed freak imo
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pike;31013[ATTACH=CONFIG
*notification pops up*
Tifa's Boobs has gone blind!
more like Iceglow.jpg
Edit: Okay, we're wrangling Burt into giving Proto the "suction method".
Oooh look you guys! We searched an abandoned wagon and it was full of sharp pointy things covered in dried blood! How exciting!
Attachment 36473
Yay, a knife!
Borax? Isn't that an explosive?
Good things happen when you go fishing with Bert as live bait.
Attachment 36474
More implements of destruction. I love it.
34 pounds? That's as big as a dog.
:bigsmile:
That is a really, really bigass fish.
That'll last us for a couple days! Makes up for the lost bacon.
Chinook?Quote:
Originally Posted by Pike
NOW'S WHO'S RACIST?
Haven't seen one of these in a while. What say you, team?
Attachment 36475
FORD IT
Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tifa's BoobsQuote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
We are rocking this river thing, guys. Forded successfully!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent ProtoQuote:
Originally Posted by Tifa's BoobsQuote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
WOOOHOO
Can't say that about the team of FAIL in the first game.
Attachment 36476
LOOK YOU GUYS
WE HAVE AN OPTION TO KILL IT AND FLAY THE MEAT FROM ITS BONES!
:mwahaha:
WOOHOO! YUMMY
BUTCHER THE ANIMAL FOR MEAT
MEAT
BUTCHER
Attachment 36477
:plotting:
Nice!
How the smurf does a gopher weigh 215lbs :O_O:
We killed an injured Ox
That's the smurfing wild, MILF.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
Attachment 36478
Okay, what on earth were you kids doing back there? :colbert:
Wat.Quote:
Originally Posted by Agent Proto
Also, exercise the broken bone :kakapo:
EXERCISE IT
set the bone!
...my wrist?
MILF, I like the way you think.
So first, Proto gets sick becaues he was playing with his snake, now he's broken his wrist?
I hope it isn't the wrist to my dominant hand.
You know what's even worse than Proto breaking his wrist? Our team has very low morale. Apparently we haven't shot anything in a while!
Attachment 36479
Alright, how do we want to tackle this thing?
I'll shoot some stuff while we decide.
Double-team it!
ROPES AND CHAINS
Double-teamed ourselves over the hill! Also, I shot another bear.Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
NEXT HILL WE'RE USING ROPES AND CHAINS
I always enter this thread at the most awkward times.
Another river. How shall we proceed? Ford?
Attachment 36480
Do you have to ask?
I think we're FORDING IT :D
Fording it is then! We made it across and then hit a hill. I used ROPES AND CHAINS, but we still tipped the wagon anyway :(
:(
Oooh another one. This one says it's VERY STEEP.
Ropes and chains?
Attachment 36481