Seems like it would take longer to say that than it would be to actually go out and pick up milk. :p
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I'd like a graphic description of what these injuries are, what you were doing to obtain them, who with, for how long, as well as why, when and where you performed such actions. And anytime a word that may be construed as rude must be used, I'd appreciate it if you would substitute in either "Leeza" or "Loony BoB", please.