Ropes and Chains!
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Ropes and Chains!
Oh my! Ropes and chains worked this time :aimkiss:
Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
:save: CONGRATULATIONS TEAM 2! :save:
Attachment 36482
Set the city to the torch. Kill all the men and boys, enslave the women. Oregon will not be fit for vultures to live in when we are done!
Attachment 36483
Feels pretty great to be me. /smug
Now let's see how we scored compared to the last team!
THE POTUS?
Attachment 36484
Attachment 36485
See that "Pike" in second place? That's us.
:save: CONGRATULATIONS TEAM 2 FOR A NEW HIGH SCORE! :save:
Must be pretty great if the Pres was convinced to go out to Oregon in the 19th century.
e; What now Sarah Starchild? Looks like we're better at traveling to Oregon after all :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug: :smug:
SMURF YEAH
Reservations for Team Three, to be played at a later date:
1. Hypoallergenic Cactuar
2. Værn
3. DarkBahamut
4.
5.
YAY WE WIN!
Congrats to EoFF Team Two! I am so happy for you guys! :love:
...Mother****ers got a better score.
I was really looking forward to you being eaten by cannibals or drowning, but this just means I can devise a way to kill you myself <3Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF
Yep just ignore Jiro nobody wants to take him to Oregan even he's been there and most of the way this journey goes anyway :aimmad: :aimmad: :aimmad:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pike
Relax bro there's two empty spots, just holler if you want one :aimkiss:
You have to ask, man!Quote:
Originally Posted by JiroYep just ignore Jiro nobody wants to take him to Oregan even he's been there and most of the way this journey goes anyway :aimmad: :aimmad: :aimmad:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pike
I have to admit that after the fuss you put up, I will laugh if you die right away in round 3.
I would like a spot.
So Jiro and Lancealot got the last two places?
Tits.
Damnit I just keep barely missing!
Back on page 7 guys :aimsad:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
I'm gonna slot Jiro in for next time regardless of if he actually said so or not :monster:
1. Hypoallergenic Cactuar
2. Værn
3. DarkBahamut
4. Jiro
5. Sir Lancealot
If you weren't just so gosh darn cute...! :argh:
EDIT: Plus you know that with both Sir Lancealot and I, nothing can possibly go wrong.
Except Hypoallergenic Cactuar. Please don't sabotage us bro :(
(jk :greenie:)
Either HC has researched Oregon Trail in its entirety and is going to carry the whole group to the finish with the highest score, or he's going to demand seven hats and a banjo and will be the first to die of dysentery.
Oh how I'm going to love eating all the food supply or just burning it all up
Why would I dis Terry?
I had a laptop built in 1998, the only computer I had till 2007, and the only game I had for it was...
Oregon Trail.
I have two things I would like to make sure everybody is aware of before we begin this great trip across the mighty USA.
1. We need more bacon
2. We need more guns
That's all you need to be successful in life.
I like Jiro's style.
Hey, bacon and guns have already been done. Take hunting knives and candy, you pussies.
Seconded.Quote:
Originally Posted by Flambard D'Quinceteth
Guys, I'm going to grow the longest beard anyone has ever seen.
Might I also request that more decisions are handed to the players, and that more screenshots are taken? There's no need to rush a fun old time like this, Pike. :D
Of course, it's a given that the players can hand whatever decisions to Pike if they want.
LET THE VOYAGE BEGIN, ALREADY. DAMN.
Patience, patience.
Maybe tomorrow if I remember.
Hunting knives and candy is not american at all. Let's just spend a lot of money on oxen and slaughter them when we run out of food.
Good strategy. I see all that time in Montana with Pike and MILF paid off.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
Where the heck in America did you get that idea.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
Americans would rather attach a Ferrari to the front
Pikey :/ Can you please get to this?
When I'm not busy, broski
Okay guys, here's the deal. We aren't going to run this particular game all at one time like we have in the past. This is because we've got people from various timezones and whatnot like Jiro who might not be here at the same time as everyone else. So there might be some pauses here and there. Deal with it. :cool:
First thing's first; pick out a profession.
Attachment 36571
PASTOR
Oh, and these are the players this time around, in case some of you people who signed up already forgot!
OREGON TRAIL ROUND THREE
1. Hypoallergenic Cactuar
2. Værn
3. DarkBahamut
4. Jiro
5. Sir Lancealot
sausagefest
Butcher.
One vote for Butcher! Waiting for at least one other vote from a member of the team before we go forward :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Lancealot
PASTOR
so you can convert those damn mormons
Watch out, a pastor is a target for mormons to convert, too.
blacksmith
That's one vote for butcher and one vote for blacksmith. Will someone break the tie?
As a reminder, here's what's at stake!
http://home.eyesonff.com/attachments...ng-oregon1.png
Butcher for me :D
Apologies for the delay. We lost internet at my house some time ago and I've no idea what the ETA is on getting it back.
Butcher sounds good to me.
Sorry about the delay there, folks. Anyways, it looks like we're going for the hardmode that is BUTCHER! We've only got $700 to start with, so we'll need to stretch the money and make every bit count! We'll have a bigger challenge ahead of us than either of the previous two teams.
Attachment 36582
Now then, what's the general strategy for buying things before we head out?
This guy will get us all set up with six months worth of stuff if we want, but it will cost most of our money. Thoughts?
Attachment 36583
5
If we get 6 months worth of supplies, the price is about $14/month cheaper. I don't see how we can pass up a deal like that.
6 months, I feel like it's good in the long run.
Anyone else on the team have any input before we go with six months? I figure I'll ask for confirmation here because it's a big chunk of money.
Fine, 6 months.
You cowards. What happened to getting guns and bacon, or hats and hunting knives?
The six month supply package it is!
We've got just $92 left and we've still got to buy some sort of animal to haul our asses all the way to the other side of the country. Oxen are the cheapest and we'll probably need at least six.
Input?
Attachment 36585
9 oxen
42 chickens.
Only buy hay.
Hay is for horses. I vote in favor of having a chicken-powered wagon.
6 oxen sounds good.
Anyone else think six oxen sounds like a plan?Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Lancealot
(Sorry guys, but chicken and hay powered wagons will not get you out the front door. I know, terrible game mechanics.)
6 oxen for me!
I don't get why we bought so much food. As butcher, we get more meat from animals.
my vote is for 4 oxen
Fine. Six oxen and a chicken.
Got any roos?
SOLD! Six oxen and a chicken will get us to Oregon, surely.Quote:
Originally Posted by Værn
Oh wait.
Attachment 36589
What should we do? We have $24.53.
Sell all the useless trout and BUY MORE CANDY.
Put it all into
Get another ox. If one more is not enough, get another another ox. If that is not enough, add one more chicken.
Rantz and I knew that pure chicken power was the way to go :colbert:
And hay.Quote:
Originally Posted by Værn
If we fail miserably and are unable to leave, is the reset button a valid strategy?
I say we don't move on ahead and get the Eo-EFF outta here and go to Vegas :kakapo::kakapo::kakapo:
Or drop an ox..
I propose we forsake this journey west and instead head east. smurf Oregon, man. East coast is best coast.
Alternatively, we just sell some of the less essential things like clothing and food to buy another oxen. Then make then ride hard and long until one by one they die and we slaughter them for more meat. We will live off the bones of the fallen, brothers!
I bought one more ox and now they'll let us leave. :shobon:
Now which of these fine wagon trains do we want to hook up with?
Attachment 36596
holy trout train 1
I want them to pick train 3, and see how long they last.
3
I'm also with train 3. Less people to split loot and experience with.
Oh hell yeah. One more vote for 3, and then majority rules. This is going to be a jolly good laugh.
You know what? Two votes is good enough for me. And since we're pretty much out of money to buy stuff with, let's get this started!
Not a day into our journey and we've come across our first river. Two feet deep. What do we do, comrades? Ford it?
Attachment 36597
FORD IT
ALWAYS FORD
See who's around! Beg for assistance! Give all your oxen away for a boat!
Quin, you puss
One vote for Ford. Waiting for another confirmation from a member of the team!Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypoallergenic Cactuar
FORD FORTH.
Congratulations on your first successful river crossing, Team 3! :raichu:
We trundled along for a few days and have run into ANOTHER! This one is deeper than the last one. Wat do?
Attachment 36598
fard eet
see whose around. Then FORD
We could take the ferry....but I'd rather just FOOOOOOORD ON.
Ford.
Holden.
wait, no, I mean Ford.
Team Three is going for the ford!
...
...
...alright, who was driving? Because I'm pretty sure that's not how to do it.
Attachment 36606
We lost quite a bit of food there. Hopefully we don't run into any more rivers for a little whi- oh look.
Attachment 36607
I want to say ford all the rivers, but 1 dollar isn't horrible for a ferry.
It's to be expected when you try to ford a three foot river in an over-packed wagon!
Take the toll bridge for a dollar.
check the river conditions
The river conditions have been checked and are on display at the bottom of the last screenshot.
Also, be 100% sure you want to use the ferry! You guys have like, $11 to your name and five months left to go.
If you guys take the ferry for this river, you're total pusses.
It doesn't look that treacherous to me.
GENERAL MOTORS IT!
Everybody's been fording and caulking so far. You guys should try new things. Check who's around EVERYWHERE. Or wait/rest. Maybe some fun natives will show up! :D
Let's check who's around and use them to test just how dangerous this river is before fording it.
Let's stand around. Ain't no grubbing ferryman goin' be taking my dollar bill yo. smurf that. Let's use the natives at every chance, they owe us! We gave them pox riddled blankets and everything!
We brought them civilisation at the expense of liberty, health and life. You're welcome, Indians.
Stand around and check.
Okay, by popular demand, let's take a look around and see who's here.
Attachment 36611
Okay, some sort of mountain man guy. That's not too bad, right? He'll know the lay of the land and stuff, right?
Attachment 36612
Is... is that a threat? And does he have a gun?
We might want to back away slowly.
Kill him, then go search for other people. Kill everybody you see. Kill the people who are demanding a toll. Then rope all the bodies together and use them as a makeshift ferry.
Check the bridge for trolls. If Psychotic is no where to be found, cross freely.
Let's rob the toll station.
My friends, you sadly cannot rob or kill anyone in this game. Other than your own party members. From diseases and "accidental" hunting accidents.
Shall we ford or ferry?
ford!
Ferry.
Would ford, but didn't go well for us recently. FERRY.
y'all a bunch a pusses
Caulk!
Just pay the toll. It's only a buck. We'll steal some cashmoney at another point.
Young Money. Cash Money. WEEZY F BAAAABY....(:( what am I doing with my life)
Do we still have my chicken? If it's still alive, ford the river. If the last river killed it, pay the toll.
Sacrifice the chicken to the River Gods for safe passage.
Majority said toll, so toll it is!
Feels great to be down to like $9. Hopefully we can wrangle up some more cash somehow if we need it.
Anyways, here we are at the next river. This bugger's four feet deep.
Attachment 36631
.....
See whose around. then ford it.
Yeah, toll the 2 foot river, ford the 4 foot river.
Bunch of idiots, the lot of you.
It's either that or the 4th option and I don't like that word.
COCK IT.
Do you really think Sam's idea of sacrificing the chicken to the river gods is going to work? :colbert:Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkBahamut
Ditch the wagons, continue on foot. It's just been slowing us down anyway!
(Caulk it. If trout goes wrong, we can simply sail downstream a ways.)
Caulk.
Opting to caulk it like it's hot. This shouldn't be too difficult; we'll just float across the river nice and gently. In fact, we'll float right into this rock here. That's a great idea. Right guys? Right?
Attachment 36639
...right?
Okay, okay, so we lost a bunch of stuff. Again. But nobody died! So that's okay.
Our oxen aren't very happy, though. Running into a rock is very exhausting.
Attachment 36640
Why our oxen look like horses, I have no idea.
MAKE THE FUN DOUBLE
xD
that's all I can say, really
Shoot them, then immediately regret every decision you've made.
Looks like the river gods didn't like my chickens, huh Værn....
Let em rest.
Rest.
Double time! The weak will never get stronger if they do not work hard!
Wrong. Bad idea! Next time we get to a river, you go first. Alone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pike
Let's lighten the wagon load. What's the worst that could happen?
I know I'm not involved in this, but Double-Teaming the animals seems like the only logical option.
If we're lightening the load then I suggest we dump Pike :jess:
:colbert:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
I would have to disagree. Pike is the only reason I'm on this voyage.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
HA TAKE THAT!Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkBahamutI would have to disagree. Pike is the only reason I'm on this voyage.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
Have we all voted to double-team? If so, we'll pick this up again when I come home from work.
Just saying, that means if Pike is tossed, the you ALSO lose the extra cargo of Dark Bahamut.
Two fer one! :bigsmile: But seriously, double team those slack smurfing oxen. Not resting when there's work to be done. We need to settle the west!
Okay, double-teamed and continuing onward!
We had a bit of an exciting event. A buffalo stampede! Now's our time to go shoot them all and really stock up on food, right?
Attachment 36666
...ooorrr we can just leave most of it there. :(
Anyways, not long after that we arrived at an exciting fort! Do we want to go inside and take a look around? Bear in mind if you want to buy anything that we're pretty much broke.
Attachment 36667
Ford IT
All the bottom three options.
>Fire eleven times
>Bring back one eleventh of what we managed to kill
Also, I'm with DarkBahamut. All three look reasonable. We can wait to ford it until we've looked around a bit.
Visit the fort. Open any pots, cupboards and treasure chests you find. Then leave.
Final Fantasy style haha. Walk into peoples' houses and take their stuff and just leave.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
You know it brother :aimsun:
Smells burnt.
We walked into the fort and found this guy:
Attachment 36682
Yes that's right bro, go on and walk the 200 miles back by yourself. :eyebrow: Wuss.
Now then, do we want to stock up on any supplies or anything while we're here? We have about $12.
pardon?
So long
buy 13 bullets.
buy prostitute for $2
Have her go earn $50, keep 40, she gets 10.
buy more prostitutes.
rinse, repeat.
eventually a large city like las vegas will form around your pimp town, rule the city, expand over the next 600 years to having a 30% stake in the national annual budget, threaten to cut off the government unless you are given the entire state of new york, Sell new york to Northern Mexico (canada having been conquered by first Japan in 2137 and then mexico in 2380) for $100,000,000,000,000.99, buy small island country in the pacific ocean, begin building metropolis, name it whore island. everyone comes to island, island expands and grows for 200 years. Buy Japan and Madagascar, Make them themed whore islands, one with only asians, and one with only every other race and kinky things, continue to take in revinue for 300 years. Purchase siberia for $12, use magnetic pulses to heat up Siberia and wait 300 years for it to become a tropical paradise, create new nation. Over the next 1000 years por all extra revenue into creating a quantum teleporter. Teleport to equestria. Profit. Don't get cholera.
You know, I think HC is on to something. I think you should do that.
Only if HypoCactuar is the prostitute.
With a pretty face like that, he has to be.
My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard.
Your johnnycakes*Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypoallergenic Cactuar
I knew there was a reason we brought him with us. Brilliant. I say we just keep hiking and killing animals for delicious meat.
Feeling rejuvenated, Jiro headed out into the perilous wilderness in search of wild game. Unfortunately he came across the wrong type of critter.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
Attachment 36693
Let's just let him die as fast as possible, give patient lots of exercise.
I will suck the venom out myself. No need to let this inconvenience the trip. Oregon must be settled no matter what.
What's the problem? Australians are immune to venom.
Where's the "Become Bane" option? He could use the venom as the steroids.
Suction method.
I vote for exercise.
Judging by DarkBahamut's suggestion to use the venom as steroids, it seems that he also believes exercise to be the appropriate choice. That makes three votes against two.
You bastards are going to try and kill off an australian? I'll show you.
We're not trying to kill you. That rattlesnake is. And it may finish you off yet if we don't get your blood flowing so those white blood cells can do their job. :colbert:
So you want to test Jiro's strength and fortitude, eh? We'll see how this goes. So far so good; it's been a few days since that fateful night and Jiro is feeling OK. This is easy mode for an Aussie.
Attachment 36712
Meanwhile, we've met our next river. Wat do?
Attachment 36713
Use Jiro as a raft.
Chevy the river
You are obviously new here.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tifa's BoobsYour johnnycakes*Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypoallergenic Cactuar
USE ME AS A RAFT. THE WATER WILL WASH AWAY THE VENOM.
By using Jiro as a raft, we were able to successfully cross the river without incident! Things continued well for a few days, BUT THEN! :eek:
Attachment 36740
Coninue as usual. Lighting goes for the highest point, so it really shouldn't matter where we are, we are on a plain and will always be the highest point. Better to keep moving and hopefully avoid the storm.
Get advice. Maybe there are some indians around who know a dance to make lightning smurf off? If not, full steam ahead because lightning doesn't scare me!
Maybe the lightning will burn away the venom?
Have me run around with my arm stuck up in the air!
SMURF YOU THUNDER. YOU CAN SMURF A SMURF. YOU CAN'T GET US THUNDER, CUZ YOU'RE JUST GOD'S FARTS.
DA SMURF HAPPENED TO THIS THREAD? I don't care about double posting, we're stuck in the middle of a journey.
Don't panic; we clearly decided to wait this colossal storm out.
Relax; I've been giving it a few days between posts because I think some of our travelers disappeared (quit posting) and I was hoping they'd come back. We'll pick it up again today.Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkBahamut
Those who fall behind get left behind. :colbert:
We got out of the thunderstorm okay :shobon: That should count as our scary natural disaster for this game right?
...or wait.
Attachment 36835
continue as usual.
Move along, nothing to see here.
Nah smurf that I know walking through the fire and flames would be kickass but we've got guns and trout and plus our wagon is made of wood and our oxen aren't immune to fire damage so we need to wait this one out :(
What if we cast Reflect on the party?Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
Wait.
The people have voted wait. So we waited for the fire to pass, and it did soon enough! :monster:
Now we're at our next river. The Laramie River! Perhaps we should ask Jiro for advice; he knows this area rather well. Or so he claims.
Attachment 36842
As a reminder we have $12.50.
"POST MORE PIKE POST MORE"
So I did and now look! :mymelbert:
I been there before. Don't worry. We just ford it. No dramas.
Ford it.
Cock the wagon and float
Two votes ford, one vote caulk. Any final input from anyone?
Wear the wagon as a hat.
Hat rhymes with mat and mats go in your car and ford is a type of car.