Tell me your drunken tales.
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Tell me your drunken tales.
Uhh... Once my husband thanked me for something I sure as hell don't remember doing.
I once met this guys from Detroit during Carrabana and me and some friends partied with them at their hostel, they were loaded from the Duty free and drank us under the table.
I went to help one of them grab some more alcohol from their car parked in a garage, I was pretty wasted by this time and I saw an SUV from Quebec which infuriated me for no plausible or explainable reason.
I was just angry at the french and the SUV that night I guess.
Anyways I climbed up ontop of the SUV, sat on its hood, lifted my skirt and peed down the front windshield.
I also remember waking up one day sleeping beside my bed with one boot on and one boot off.
Aaaaaand Chemical wins the thread.
^ Yes. :)
I have scars on my arms that wouldn't be there otherwise. :cat:
What do I win?
When you come to California I'll buy you a drink.
Oh, where do I start? I guess I'll tell you the most recent and my favorite.
Last night I was very sloshed as part of the end of the semester celebration, and I walked into a tree that I didn't see (I had also smoked ganja and chewed shrooms) and one of the limbs hit me in the lip. I got angry because I thought the tree was picking a fight, and I got scared as hell because we had just watched Evil Dead (with the whole tree-rape scene, an' all).
My favorite story was after I took seven shots of Absolut Vodka and drank a bunch of screw drivers, then I don't remember anything past burning myself with my lighter by accident, and the next morning I woke up in my friend's room with puke beside the bed, and there was no one in the apartment but me.
I have another one that usually makes people laugh:
When I went to punk fest (which is a 3 day camping event including lots of punk bands) I got so hammered the night we arrived that my friends tied my leg to a tree near our tent so that I wouldn't go off getting lost in the marsh.
I passed out in the mud that night.
I would but most my drunken tales seem to involve thieving and/or men... seeing as the innocent minded might be reading I don't want to corrupt
:kaoyatta:
I'm 13, so my drunken tales = Not very exciting! :bigsmile:
Tell me mooore!Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack
I don't have any drunken tales. =(
Well this one night, me and my friends came out of the bar we were drinking at and started to walk home. We crossed the road into a car park and started to climb into the shopping trolleys and push eachother around. 5 security guard came out and all decided to surround the littliest guy in our group, and we didn't like that so we started to have a go at them and they told us to leave and walked off.
While this was happening my other friend who had found his way back across the road had fallen over on the pavement, climbed into a car that stopped to see if he was ok then got dropped back off 30 seconds down the road.
We met back up with him and carried on going, vandalising various things along the way. Such as knocking down a sign on a wall that says Roadway House (and now hangs on my wall), knocking over a huge flag pole outside a car dealership, climbing into an unlocked van and stealing the keys we found inside and smashing a car window.
We finally got back to my friend's house and started to watch a movie, when one of us fell asleep. So we shaved his eyebrow off.
There are probably others, but I can't remember them.
And Moon Bunny wins the sad prize. :(
Once at a party my husband insisted on having one more drink. Shortly after he went outside to "get some fresh air," and when I went to find him all of two minutes later he had fallen off the two inch step for the porch, and was laying in his own vomit.
Three hours later I got him to get up to go to the car, but halfway there he laid down again, and to keep people from picking him up he rolled under his friend's truck. Half the party took turns coming out to pose for pictures with him laying under the truck, his vomit puddled on the driveway around his head.
One of the pics is on his MySpace. :)
Amazing how none of these stories is actually funny at all. Especially the ones where you destroy other people's property. (People who smash car windows deserve to be in prison.)
Ive never been completely wasted, Im just a lightweight who gets extremely light headed and tipsy.
I just fall over, alot. I give people hugs and just collapse.
I went to give this lad a high five, but he missed or something, and I must have leaned in and just couldn't stop myself from falling. I just remember like 2 people trying to pick me up, and I kept falling down again xD My knees are covered in bloody bruises!
No, I think ButThePoncho does. :bigsmile:Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack
I live in Cali, what do I get?Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack
Where's your sense of anarchy?Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Unne
DAMN THE MAN!!
LONG LIVE CHAOS & DESTRUCTION!!
Come July you get the grace of my pressence.Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGodI live in Cali, what do I get?Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack
They tied Chemicals leg to a tree! That's funny, dammit!Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Unne
You're just lucky I haven't burned your house down yet.Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGodI live in Cali, what do I get?Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack
I am greek so i like to drink Uzo! Well me Nakor the blue Rider along with some other friends decided to drink Uzo one night and me and Nakor ended up having a toe war.(Trying to see whos toes were bigger. I obviously lost) After that we all crowded around our friend Brad who had brought his yu-gi-oh cards. He is very skilled at that stupid game, but i managed to do alright against him. I lost anyways though. ha!
I'm not drunk, but I have to take this moment to tell Shlup that I love her more than words can describe.
:DQuote:
Originally Posted by ChemicalCome July you get the grace of my pressence.Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGodI live in Cali, what do I get?Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack
:cry:Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuackYou're just lucky I haven't burned your house down yet.Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGodI live in Cali, what do I get?Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack
I know, darling, I know. You say it with your eyes everday.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chemical
Yeah, I'm with Bunny. Nothing remotely close to inebriated here. :p
I don't drink, and I've only ever been drunk once
Maybe that one. No others though. It would be funny if some people were thrown into prison.Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack
I've done nothing illegal that affects anyone but me :bigsmile: So, I don't deserve prison >:oQuote:
Originally Posted by Dr UnneMaybe that one. No others though. It would be funny if some people were thrown into prison.Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack
Once, I got so drunk that I got thrown into prison. Stop moaning, bizatch. :bigsmile:Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr UnneMaybe that one. No others though. It would be funny if some people were thrown into prison.Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack
Seriousness aside, I did get wasted off vodka (bad Quinny, bad), and from what I hear it wasn't pretty. All I remember is a big cut on my arm that I don't remember getting, and being completely naked in my own bed. It was quite funny, because considering I drank a bottle of vodka, my hangover was pretty lame and I didn't even get told off. I was a bit peeved at the fact that some bastard had stolen my jeans though.
got drunk during a anime convention of sorts (tokonatsu) 5 of us drunk with one passed out, 3 out of 5 of us tea bagged him...
I once used my secret forbidden drunken fistz on a random passer by. :bigsmile:
Upon one fateful night, I had held a conversation with Captain Morgan for far too long. Captain Morgan is a mischievous bastard, and as such, he told me that my girlfriend was at the party I was currently attending.
She was not. Everyone knew this but me, and I was convinced that she was there.
So I went about, pointing my fingers at people and announcing that they were not Steph. Each person was told that they were not Steph maybe ten times within twenty minutes.
As she wasn't in the house, I figured she was outside.
But prior to going outside, I discovered that I was quite hot, and so I took off my shirt and later my pants, leaving me in my wondrous underwear.
It was winter - the dead of it - and I waltzed outside looking for my girlfriend in the snow.
I couldn't open the door to get back inside, and so I took this as an omen, and was overcome with zeal and conviction - she was outside, somewhere.
In all reality, she was twenty or more miles away in her bed, not outside wandering about this party house.
Whilst looking in the snow, a car came by, and a thought struck me:
I can ask these people where Steph is!
And so I did. I ran as fast as I could with The Captain trying to trip me, but I made it, more or less because the car stopped. They rolled down the window, and I immediately assailed them with a drunken, slurred "Duoo youoo noo wheredaa my grrrlfriend isisiss? Her namesez Stephsh."
I don't really know what happened next to be honest, but from what I was told and can gather, they didn't know who or where she was (naturally), I passed out on the icy stairs next to the house, asked every car that came by, blacked out numerous times and puked even more times, and then woke up in my bed the next day in my neighbor's pants - of whom I had apparently asked to borrow his pants since I was tired of mine...
That was the last night I ever got that royally screwed up, and do not plan to do such a thing again. Although funny in some ways, it could have been terribly worse, with me out in the cold and chasing after cars...
Captain Morgan and I are still good friends, but I can't talk with him as long as he wants me to.
I can't remember any. No, I don't have any funny stories or anything; I guess I'm pretty much as I am sober whilst drunk.
I haven't been drinking in ages though...lost inspiration on alcohol when I met my wifey ( did I make that sound as a huge loss? :p ). While I used to drink every week before I met her, now I drink about once per two months, which is about 6 times a year. That is, if we don't count our holiday in Sunny Beach, Bulgary last summer. And we always drink together.
My best friend Sweetpea has only thrown two really big parties at his house. They were legendary. At the first of these, we were all outside during Fall enjoying ourselves around a fire. Pretty well into the night I had to pee, so I wondered a little bit aways next to a tree. As I got ready to go I noticed a squirrel real close to me. I decided it would be a good idea to pee on the squirrel. As I started to go the squirrel realized what was going on and started to run. I wasn't about to miss this chance so I ran after it yelling! My friends say they looked up to see me running across a field (it was more like hopping), peeing all over everywhere. I didn't get any on me, but I didn't get any on the squirrel either :(
Another night I wound up going to a party at this guy Mike's house. I didn't go prepared because I didn't know we would party that night, but one of my friends gave me a bottle of Hot Damn. The was the first and only night I ever drank the stuff. I was real young at the time, but drank the whole bottle. By the end of the night I wound up in my underwear sleeping cuddled up to the flowers in Mike's mom's flower garden outside. I woke up about sunrise, went inside, stared to the left at an empty couch, to the right at an empty bed, and then decided to lay down on the floor between the two for more sleep.
i'm sure i have more, but i'll tell you guys about the two that always seem to pop up when i'm with my friends telling old drinking stories.
last year, my good friend threw a party at his bigass house the last friday of the summer. at the beginning, it wasn't really a party, just a few of us drinking some of dat good :skull::skull::skull::skull:, POPOV...not really. so we're all just chillin and drinking, and then like 25 people show up outta nowhere, and the house is just full of people, alcohol in every single person's system.
the party kinda died down at around 5 in the morning, and we all started crashing out. i was upstairs (and still hammered) and i was telling my friend that i needed to piss. and then, a lightbulb popped up in my head. my friend that threw the party passed out in his bathroom, barf all over himself because it was his first time getting drunk.
so, me being the hilarious prick that i am, decide that i am going to pee on my friend's face. i go in the bathroom with my other friend, who has a bottle of water, stands there while i get my pee going. and then, i turn a little to the right, and i get a good 3 seconds worth of pee on his face. he wakes up all startled.."did you just pee on me?" and we're like no, russell (my friend w/the water bottle) just threw water on you. and the kid's like, "oh okay, goodnight." he still doesn't know to this day.
call me an asshole, i don't care. time for the next story.
it was halloween time, and the same friend whose face i peed on, his older brother was throwing a huge halloween party at the same house. i didn't have a job at the time, and we were supposed to head to mexico later that night, so i brought like 8 bucks in quarters with me to pay for the few drinks i could get in mexico.
anyways, this party got HUGE. I'm talking like literally 150 to 200 people, all in this bigass house, in the front yard, back yard, the balcony, everywhere. the dude throwing the party even had a dj and there was about 40 people in the kitchen all just grinding on eachother.
so after a good while, about 40 of us decide to head to mexico. we get to mexico and we hit up one of their clubs closest to the border, los panchos. i get inside and i realize i have to pee really really bad. i make my way to the bathroom, get in a stall, whip it out, and start whizzing. after a little while i'm super relaxed, so i just let go of my ding dong and close my eyes.....
bad move. i look back down, only to see no pee going into the toilet, but onto my pants. i quickly regain control of my renegade penis, and i proceed to hit myself with a wad of toilet paper in the piss area on my pants, which was my upper thigh. i was hitting it because i was drunk and it seemed reasonable to just hit it really hard, rather than press the toilet paper on it for a long time. i open the stall door, and a mexican bouncer is just standing there, smiling at me. so i was kinda weirded out.
i make it out to the dancefloor, only to put my head down at a table because
1) my contacts were extremely dry, which always makes my head hurt
2) i had a pretty big amount of piss on my pants
the girl that liked me at the time was like,
"come on marc let's go dance!"
me: "no, thats okay. i peed on myself."
girl: "what?? i can't hear you!!"
me: "NO, I PISSED ON MYSELF, IM JUST GONNA SIT HERE."
girl: *semi-disgusted look* "oh, okay..."
and now we're dating and last friday was our one year. :D and i went to school the following monday, only to see tons of pictures of me throwing up gang signs under a foosball table at the house we were at, and everyone asking me about me peeing ON my pants, not IN my pants.