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Ok, a friend told me this so I figuered that I'd put this up just for the sake of good conversation. You may have heard it before, but lets talk.
"If someone has multiple personalities and they threaten to kill theirself, do you have a hostage situation?"
and.....
"If they did go through with it, is it considered a suicide or murder?"
Have some fun.
xDD
Fireproof matches
Powdered water. Just add water.
And solar powered flashlights
Yea, go with solar power. Maybe a magnifing glass too. Burn little ant people.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pureghetto
Man that stuff is the best. I use it every day.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pureghetto
I wouldn't mind a wireless extension cord :(
Some of those were actually pretty good :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Rantzien
No, you have a crazy personQuote:
Originally Posted by Spawn of Sephiroth
¤ Why does sour cream have an expiration date? What's it going to do? Get fresh?
¤ If a cannibal is eating a clown, does it taste funny?
¤ If you drag a zebra across a price scanner, what happens?
¤ Why does a baseball manager wear a uniform? What's the chance he's going to get in the game?
¤ Why do we never use the word, "cranny" all by itself? We always have to use the word, "nook" with it."
¤ If you're making sponge cake and you spill the batter, does it wipe itself up?
¤ Is it dangerous for a person with a glass eye to attend the opera?
¤ If a person with bad eyesight is watching the TV show, 20/20, what happens?
¤ If a moose sees another moose, does he think, "Look at the rack on that"?
¤ Can stupid people become dumbfounded?
¤ If a person has phone sex with men and women, are they bilingual?
¤ If you get mono twice, do they call it stereo?
¤ If a Cyclops goes to Lenscrafters, does he get glasses in half an hour?
¤ When plumbers sleep, do they have pipe dreams?
¤ Why is it when sheep get wet, they don't shrink?
¤ If a woman is very cranky very early in the morning, does she have AMS?
¤ Why is there still milk in a can of evaporated milk?
¤ Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
¤ If you make a cow laugh, does milk come out of its nose?
¤ Is it possible to fly Virgin Airlines more than once?
¤ If Teflon doesn't stick to anything, how does it stick to the pan? If Super Glue sticks to everything, how does it come out of the tube? But what I really want to know is, if you put Super Glue on Teflon, who wins?
They were good!:p
Has anyone every bought a full price sofa?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why is it that we figured out that wheels on suitcases would be a good idea after having made it to the moon?
Why do people say "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every couple of hours?
If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
If humans evolved from monkey's/apes, why are they still here?
That one is pretty stupid. Obviously didnt pay attention in class...
The fireproof match, solarpowered flashlight are in a polish joke I know
"Do you know what the three greatest polish inventions are?"
Fire-proof match
Solar powered Flashlight
and Screen door for a submarine.
"Hey did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? Yeah the pilot was cold so he turned off the fan."
"What do you do if a polish guy throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back."
"What do you do if a polish guy throws a pin at you?
Run because he probably has a grenade in his mouth"
"How do you stop a polish tank?
Shoot the men pushing it."
"How do you stop the polish cavalry?
Unplug the merry go round."
I think that's enough for now, but being polish I know tons of great polish jokes
oh and I'll just throw in something I never understood
"Beg to differ"
Why do people beg? If someone begs to differ with me, can I refuse to let them?
THE JACKEL
I'm banning ALL of you.
If a pondering is extremely idiotic does it annoy you as much as it does me?
If a pondering doesnt require pondering due to its idiocy would it still be considered a pondering?
No. Multiple personality disorder is a global conspiracy invented by drug companies and psychiatrists.Quote:
Originally Posted by Spawn of Sephiroth
It's considered a tragedy. Show some respect, you insensitive jerk.Quote:
"If they did go through with it, is it considered a suicide or murder?"
Because it's a legal requirement. It's going to taste like crap, which won't make much of a difference.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Ceej
Why does it have to be a cannibal? Why can't it be a lion or a leopard or a dinosaur or maybe even a giant metal robot death thing? And no, it would just taste of paint. I like to drink paint but only when it has lead in it.Quote:
¤ If a cannibal is eating a clown, does it taste funny?
The zebra would probably start bellowing at you, and you'd probably break your back because they're heavy. Have you guys ever seen zebras at the zoo? Man, those things stink! Why would you even want to go near one of those disgusting beasts?Quote:
¤ If you drag a zebra across a price scanner, what happens?
Maybe he just doesn't want to feel left out. There's no shame in following peer pressure. Cut the poor guy some slack.Quote:
¤ Why does a baseball manager wear a uniform? What's the chance he's going to get in the game?
Whoa there, hold your horses. Who is this "we"? I use cranny all the time. "I pulled off this sick trick on my BMX, it was totally cranny." "Yeah my girlfriend's cranny was filled with jam and treacle." "My cranny is 86 years old." Maybe you should check your facts before posting a light-hearted statement in an unserious thread on a Final Fantasy forum.Quote:
¤ Why do we never use the word, "cranny" all by itself? We always have to use the word, "nook" with it."
No. It only becomes a sponge once the appropriate level of heating has been applied, and then there is no goo to be wiped up. A crying shame.Quote:
¤ If you're making sponge cake and you spill the batter, does it wipe itself up?
The biggest danger for them is being called a pretentious prick.Quote:
¤ Is it dangerous for a person with a glass eye to attend the opera?
They squint.Quote:
¤ If a person with bad eyesight is watching the TV show, 20/20, what happens?
No, he probably thinks "HOOOOONK! HOOOOOOONK HONK HOOOOOOONK! HOOOOOOOOONK"Quote:
¤ If a moose sees another moose, does he think, "Look at the rack on that"?
HELLZ YEAH!Quote:
¤ Can stupid people become dumbfounded?
No, they're someone I would mock heartily on this internet treasure trove that I call EoFF. lol phone sex.Quote:
¤ If a person has phone sex with men and women, are they bilingual?
They call it a crappy immune system.Quote:
¤ If you get mono twice, do they call it stereo?
No, the staff there will be swiftly devoured, and doomed to spend an eternity within his hairy belly.Quote:
¤ If a Cyclops goes to Lenscrafters, does he get glasses in half an hour?
No, they probably dream about goombas. I mean, wouldn't you if a dozen of them had tried to ram your legs?Quote:
¤ When plumbers sleep, do they have pipe dreams?
I could make an easy joke about Welsh people and bodily fluids and whatnot but I don't want Old Manus to call me gay. Not again.Quote:
¤ Why is it when sheep get wet, they don't shrink?
I like the use of two verys in this sentence. It really potrays the gravity of the situation. And who cares if she's cranky, just headbutt her or put her in a headlock or something. That'll settle her down real nice like.Quote:
¤ If a woman is very cranky very early in the morning, does she have AMS?
Just because it's evaporated that doesn't mean the milk simply stops existing and magically leaves the can.Quote:
¤ Why is there still milk in a can of evaporated milk?
Do vegetarians still give head?Quote:
¤ Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
When you're milking a cow you're basically just playing with its tits, you sick bestial mo'fo's. Also, I like to think that I would be responsible enough to wait until the cow had finished drinking before telling it a joke.Quote:
¤ If you make a cow laugh, does milk come out of its nose?
Depends on if you are a member of the mile high club.Quote:
¤ Is it possible to fly Virgin Airlines more than once?
Magic; Sorcery; SCIENCE WINS.Quote:
¤ If Teflon doesn't stick to anything, how does it stick to the pan? If Super Glue sticks to everything, how does it come out of the tube? But what I really want to know is, if you put Super Glue on Teflon, who wins?
No! Why would you buy one when you can find perfectly good ones (albeit covered with vomit/booze/fag stains/semen stains) in the front gardens of council houses?Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Master Yoda~
Because they're like Levian/Rye/Jojo/insert popular and yet dimunutive EoFFer here. They just want to see the tops of people's heads and check for dandruff. And they'll be damned if they just ask them to bend over. Well. Maybe not Lev.Quote:
Originally Posted by Harle-Quin
Suitcases come from the Moon. That's how they were discovered. Did you ever see Men in Black? Velcro is an alien invention.Quote:
Why is it that we figured out that wheels on suitcases would be a good idea after having made it to the moon?
Because it's less likely to get you lynch mobbed than saying "slept with a baby."Quote:
Why do people say "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every couple of hours?
American Sign Language. ASL. I love it. I wonder how you sign the noise of a judge banging their gavel. I don't really care about the answer to this question; I feel I have already addressed all the most pressing concerns regarding this matter.Quote:
If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a hearing?
So you can store things in those empty corners. Like horrible toppings (not pineapple. smurf off Jess pineapple on pizzas is brilliant.) that you don't want to eat.Quote:
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Hecka naw, brah.Quote:
Originally Posted by blackmage_nuke
Hooray for racism!
Has Cbc ever said something nice?
He's said some nice things to me before, but now he just threatens me.
seriously.. you cant break glas with a voice.. trust me.. i did an expiriment three times.. it had a generator that could set up to 0.01 Hz difference and i measured it all perfectly.. then i adjusted the frequency of a horn speaker and turned it up to 115 dB next to a perfect wineglass
it shook.. thats it.. no breaking.. you need at least 130 dB for it and there is no way a human voice will reach that without being put through a speaker.
Myth busted
Maybe once.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsukasa
02:59] Bert - you love to smell poo don't lie
[03:01] WildRaubtier - yes nothing else compares
Damn Psychotic, I think I will come to you if I ever need an answer. Damn, how long did it take you to answer all of those? LOL. Damn man. Thats just too funny.
:pQuote:
Originally Posted by BertMaybe once.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsukasa
02:59] Bert - you love to smell poo don't lie
[03:01] WildRaubtier - yes nothing else compares
If everyone here hates Psychotic, why don't we just perma-ban him?
because that's fascistic.
He's got too firm a hold on the eoff Staff.
The pizza boxes are square because making circular ones would cost moar faff and effort.
Explain the point of "No offence, but..."
It never makes you feel any less offended. All it is in a gossip session is just falsely saying "I'm really a nice person and not inclined to be mean, but WTFKLJBLBSOUBOSB..."
One day Paulykins . . . one day . . . :shifty:
I thought solar powered flashlights were real? :p Charge their batteries up at day, use at night :D
I have seen it done, when I was in high school my physics teacher brought someone into the class to demonstrate that it is possible, just very rare to find someone who can.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aerith's Knight
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
You'll be 75% closer to death :PQuote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Acula