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I have a problem. My fourteen year old cousin has just now discovered Chuck Norris facts, and he won't shut up. What do I do?
Also, violence, though fun, probably won't solve this situation. I know because I already tried. This is a serious problem and I am in need of real solutions
Play the quiet game. Winner gets a cookie.
accept the fact that chuck norris is god now and save yourself a lot of suffering
Tell him he's not funny and crush his spirit. Chuck Norris facts are smurfing stupid.
Bombard him with Vin Deisel facts.
He's a middle school student, the only jokes he knew before this was repeating every sentence anyone said ever with "balls" somewhere and calling things gay or retarded. "Not Funny" is his middle name D:
I tried telling him that, but I'm like the snobby older sister here.
Crack solves everything.
French him and cop a little feel. He won't want to be around you anymore after that. Or will he?
One word..... Shock treatment therapy. Every time he tells a chuck norris joke he gets a small 10,000 volt charge he wont be saying them for long
Tell him to say hello to four years ago.
How about fighting fire with fire? Whenever he says one fact, you say two facts. Eventually he'll get so sick of your spewing of verbal copypasta he'll realize how annoying he is.
You could also try operant conditioning.
What? he skipped the o rly owls phase and went straight to norris? I am not pleased.
seconding vin diesel
There's nothing you can do. Once Chuck Norris facts are discovered they remain permanently inside the host's brain , eventually driving him and his familiars to madness. That is a fact.
Quote:
Originally Posted by trancekuja
That is the power of chuck norris not only is he super human but he has also devised an enginous plan to destroy americas collected intellect and have an army of millons of out of shape soldiers with bad hearts aka americans
Just quietly slip in that Chuck Norris is gay, like it's a fact.
It won't get him to shut up, but the following shouting match you will have would cheer me up. :)
This might actually work. Worst case scenario he might feel like he's part of an inside joke and start saying them even louder in front of his sister.Quote:
Originally Posted by Momiji
Get Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick his face. That should shut him up, and supply some good irony.
Print the longest list of Chuck Norris facts you can find, clear your throat in a sophisticated manner, and then begin reading. Follow him around if you have to and don't stop until he's dead.
This should do the trick.
This.Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack
Call him fat. he'll be so self-conscious and depressed, he'll be too busy eating carrots and other vegetables (without ranch sauce) to tell another Norris joke.
Eating carrots any other way than fresh, cold, and raw (cleaned and peeled of course) is detestable. >=OQuote:
Originally Posted by GameMasta
But also de-TASTE-able. :|Quote:
Originally Posted by MomijiEating carrots any other way than fresh, cold, and raw (cleaned and peeled of course) is detestable. >=OQuote:
Originally Posted by GameMasta
Hint: Boys like porn.
Thatll keep him locked in his room.
I called 1888BIBLENOW
They told me to gtfo D:
but that strips them of all their healthy soileriffic nutrients!Quote:
Originally Posted by MomijiEating carrots any other way than fresh, cold, and raw (cleaned and peeled of course) is detestable. >=OQuote:
Originally Posted by GameMasta
Spewing out a bunch of facts right back at him seemed to do the trick. For now anyway xD
Maybe this could have worked if he didn't have to share a room with his mom (there's seven of us living here right now x.x).Quote:
Originally Posted by blackmage_nuke
If he says one you think you've heard, just say "You already told me that one. Say another." Eventually, he'll run out. :3
They are plenty tasty. Your tastebuds are just used to more flavorful stuff, so they taste bland, but when you give it time, they actually have a pleasant flavor.Quote:
Originally Posted by GameMastaBut also de-TASTE-able. :|Quote:
Originally Posted by MomijiEating carrots any other way than fresh, cold, and raw (cleaned and peeled of course) is detestable. >=OQuote:
Originally Posted by GameMasta
Would I eat candy for the nutrients? No. Carrots are my candy replacement, and therefore I treat them as such. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by rubahbut that strips them of all their healthy soileriffic nutrients!Quote:
Originally Posted by MomijiEating carrots any other way than fresh, cold, and raw (cleaned and peeled of course) is detestable. >=OQuote:
Originally Posted by GameMasta
Carrots are the best freshly pulled out of the garden and cleaned in well water or nearby river. Then consumed. :D
*hi5*Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessweeee♪
If you didn't keep going until he screamed, though, you quit too soon.
You could also consider crushing up some glass into a fine powder and putting it in his soda or something.
Look him in the eyes and punch him in the face with your chinfist.
duck tape him and throw him in a closet :D
He locked himself in his room after awhile, so he couldn't hear me :(Quote:
Originally Posted by ShlupQuack*hi5*Quote:
Originally Posted by Jessweeee♪
If you didn't keep going until he screamed, though, you quit too soon.
Kill Chuck Norris.
that could go one of three ways and two of them should be funQuote:
Originally Posted by Jessweeee♪Maybe this could have worked if he didn't have to share a room with his mom (there's seven of us living here right now x.x).Quote:
Originally Posted by blackmage_nuke
(SPOILER)bow-chicka-bow-wow
dont you know thats impossible? the only man that could beat chuck was bruce lee and hes deadQuote:
Originally Posted by Bert
Insert your name where Chucks is.
ever wonder why he's dead?Quote:
Originally Posted by Namelessfengirdont you know thats impossible? the only man that could beat chuck was bruce lee and hes deadQuote:
Originally Posted by Bert
Obama said it was time for change :mad: he might spend the trillions that he borrowed on creating an anti-Chuck weaponQuote:
Originally Posted by Namelessfengirdont you know thats impossible? the only man that could beat chuck was bruce lee and hes deadQuote:
Originally Posted by Bert
a chuck 2.0, perhaps?Quote:
Originally Posted by BrennanObama said it was time for change :mad: he might spend the trillions that he borrowed on creating an anti-Chuck weaponQuote:
Originally Posted by Namelessfengirdont you know thats impossible? the only man that could beat chuck was bruce lee and hes deadQuote:
Originally Posted by Bert
My left ass cheek can kill Chucky boy, but she won't because she finds the idea morally repulsive.