Let's Interview: Lazy Bovine

Hello again, humans, I am The Space Pope and as an entity of pure energy currently taking the form of a dazzling pink sparkly unicorn, I am interested in seeing what makes you humans tick. So! I will be interviewing some of you, and first up is Lazy Bovine.

First of all, greetings, bovine and welcome to EoFF, located in a corner of the internet that is largely populated by fat neckbeards and wapanese 12 year olds, and middle aged asian men who divorced their wives to marry an anime character, but that is not the case in EoFF! ...I think.

Okay, question time.

1) Tell me in five words or less your life story.

2) What brought you to this little dimly lit corner of the internet?

3) Why save the goblins? They are ugly and stinky, like homeless people.

4) What is your favorite meal?

5) Would you agree that Dynasty had terrifically written female roles?

6) What consoles do you own?

7) Do you fnd my glorious visage to be pleasing?

8) If you could sink any continent, which one and why?

9) What other hobbies do you have besides being a lazy meal for humans?

10) Would you agree that humans are nothing more than underfed hairless chimps and should be locked in zoos for our amusement as we throw pieces of popcorn and pocket change into their cages to watch them scramble over while beating each other with the limbs of their fallen brethren?

What is up, Space Pope. Glad to be on your show, I really am. Just thought I'd stop in, since I was already visiting wonderful New York --

*crowd boos*

I mean... EoFF City!

*crowd cheers*

On to your questions:

1. The Miseducation Of Lazy Bovine.

2. I was on a site called Big Boards.com, looking for a forum to post in. I like posting. It's an addiction of mine. It's like smoking crack!

*crowd laughs*

..Anyway, I had a stream of bad luck on my last five boards I visited. Either the crowd was immature, the mods were too strict, or the mods were too corrupt. Then, I remember the last cool board I visited many moons ago was a Final Fantasy themed board, so I typed in "Final Fantasy" in the Big Boards search engine and pressed Enter. Lo and behold, this site came up as third! I assume it's ranked by how big the board is, how many users, activity, and so forth. I clicked on the link and the rest is history.

3. The goblins... they are misunderstood lot. People think they attack others simply because they are evil! That's not true at all.

*cue in fake Obama accent*

Let me be clear...

* /accent *

...The goblins are really nice, friendly nomadic folk. They just wish to be left alone. I mean, how would you feel if you were constantly gangbanged by five or six people every single day, getting slaughtered for just animal glue? I would be defensive, too! And plus, they make gobbiebags for you! They help you! Why would kill something that helps you? It's ludicrous! It's barbarous! It's mean! And they're so cute!

4. I enjoy ราดหน้า. For those of you who don't know what ราดหน้า is, it is a Thai noodle dish. It's like Ho Fun, but smothered with gravy on top.

5. Why, yes. Yes I did. I was prolly around 5 at the time, but I had a crush on Kyrstle Jennings. Excuse me, Linda Evans.

6. I just have an Xbox 360. I'm not much of a gamer. Plus, I'm po'.

7. I find your visage to be gloriously hilarious! That is a compliment. Sir.

8. I would like to sink North America. Well, maybe just a chunk of it.

9. I enjoy listening to gangsta rap, drinking 40 oz. of malt liquor, and reading about Leo Tolstoy.

10. Humans... need a lot of work. Locking them up in cage is a tad bit extreme, me thinks.

Thanks for letting me visit your show. I love you, EoFF City!

*crowd cheers*

Neato :monster:

Also, I always thought Thai writing was prettyful.

Ok, and we're back from our commercial break! Unfortunately we had to cut to them while you were responding but that's ok. And smoking crack is definitely something I can relate to. And I will try to tolerate the goblins but I don't want any of them moving into my neighborhood.

And thank you for making me feel pretty ^________^

Excellent responses by the way.

Now, for our second part of the show: What is your mission here? Have to come for the lulz, the discussion, the hookups, or to post here for years, become an admin only so you can delete the board?

Also feel free to ask any questions you may have about your glorious interviewer or the boards. Though I have little knowledge of either.

Something smells fishy. :shifty:

Second account is second.

That's what people said when I first joined.

And when you second joined! :p

ugh no

I love how people assume every new account is a dupe. How could me and him post at the same time on different IP's? on a single computer?

Stop ruining my interview with the man, you scared him off

It's all in jest. :D
I'll continue to be a spectator if that's how it is.

Well he's offline now. You scared him off I bet, foolish human.

Seriously though, that's not me. Unless it is. Unless I just said that to cast doubt. Unless I just said that to cast even further doubt.

Your higher intelligence is overwhelming. I look forward to seeing more of this interview in the near future.

Rest assured human, I will eventually interview ALL of you. Figured I'd test it on someone newer than myself.

I need to collect information for....reasons.

:shifty:

How did you like NY!?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The Space Pope

Ok, and we're back from our commercial break! Unfortunately we had to cut to them while you were responding but that's ok. And smoking crack is definitely something I can relate to. And I will try to tolerate the goblins but I don't want any of them moving into my neighborhood.

And thank you for making me feel pretty ^________^

Excellent responses by the way.

Now, for our second part of the show: What is your mission here? Have to come for the lulz, the discussion, the hookups, or to post here for years, become an admin only so you can delete the board?

Also feel free to ask any questions you may have about your glorious interviewer or the boards. Though I have little knowledge of either.

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My mission, should I choose to accept it, is simply just to post and mingle with others. This user will self destruct in five seconds.

...Oh, before I blow up, I do have a question: Are you related to The Space Ghost?

Nah, I have never met the Space Ghost although I loved his show up until the last two seasons.

As for mingling, yeah there's alot of that around here, the actual FF forums here don't get as much attention as General Chat as I'm sure you've noticed.

Also, apparently you and I are the same person. But of course 'we' already knew that :thumbsup:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lazy Bovine

9. I enjoy listening to gangsta rap, drinking 40 oz. of malt liquor, and reading about Leo Tolstoy.

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You and I will never get along.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The Space Pope

ugh no

I love how people assume every new account is a dupe. How could me and him post at the same time on different IP's? on a single computer?

Stop ruining my interview with the man, you scared him off

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Uhhh, setting up multiple IP's on a single Ethernet Gateway is really easy.

Interview someone else now, yeah? He's had more than his 15 seconds of fame.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Crimson

Uhhh, setting up multiple IP's on a single Ethernet Gateway is really easy.

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I'm not that smart though, can't you tell? Never even heard of that until you said it tbh

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jiro

Interview someone else now, yeah? He's had more than his 15 seconds of fame.

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You're next

I wanted to make it weekly but FINE :colbert:

Weekly interviews? You need information on us and you were gonna do it on a weekly basis? Aliens man, I don't get 'em.

Well I don't want to wear out the bit too quickly.

Good idea. I can see how it would lose it's flavor after a while.