EoFFer FML

Today I felt like taking a day off from work because I wanted to get a college essay done. I downloaded the *SlyDial app so I could avoid talking to my boss and go straight to voicemail. I thought I was so slick until it connected me directly to her and I stammered out a pathetic excuse in shock at my app failing. FML.

Your turn.



*SlyDial is an app for the iPhone, Droid and Blackberry phones that lets you connect straight to voicemail and avoid talking to your parents, SO, boss, whatever. Or at least, it's SUPPOSED to do that.... ;__;

Last night when I went to bed I discovered one of the cats had avoided the waterproof camping blanket and peed on the small part of the bed not covered by it. I had to spend an hour scrubbing and cleaning and changing the bedcovers before I could sleep. FML.

You win... XD

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Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF

Last night when I went to bed I discovered one of the cats had avoided the waterproof camping blanket and peed on the small part of the bed not covered by it. I had to spend an hour scrubbing and cleaning and changing the bedcovers before I could sleep. FML.

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cat pee smell doesn't really ever go away. FYL

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Originally Posted by Peegee

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Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF

Last night when I went to bed I discovered one of the cats had avoided the waterproof camping blanket and peed on the small part of the bed not covered by it. I had to spend an hour scrubbing and cleaning and changing the bedcovers before I could sleep. FML.

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cat pee smell doesn't really ever go away. FYL

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You gotta get that Arm & Hammer stuff or whatever it was called. My brother and I each got bean bag chairs one day and to cats they feel like a round litter box with a pretty red cover over the sand. Misty peed on my bean bag chair and Snowball peed on his :(

Today I went skipping off to work only to find that my two coworkers at the deli line had called in and it was just me there, left to feed hundreds of people one at a time. FML. :(

It's Monday. FML.

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Originally Posted by Raistlin

It's Monday. FML.

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QFT/E

Nah PG, trust, we know how to get rid of it. Living with cats for over twenty years teachers you these things xD

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Originally Posted by Clo

Today I went skipping off to work only to find that my two coworkers had called in. FML. :(

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Me too. And it's MONDAY. FML. :(

Today a bunch of stuff I'm not allowed to talk about happened and I worked yet another 12 hour day. Left 3 hours later than I was supposed to. FML.

Today at work I was laughing so hard that I was crying and nearly peeing myself.

Not really a fml but then again not much about today was, so I thought I would give you fmlers a laugh :monster:

Today I discovered I had to fork out £30 to fix our washing machine that I didn't break. Oh as well as sorting out every bill and utility we've had. FML.

I just got married. FMW

... xD

Eric just got married. FML

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Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF

Last night when I went to bed I discovered one of the cats had avoided the waterproof camping blanket and peed on the small part of the bed not covered by it. I had to spend an hour scrubbing and cleaning and changing the bedcovers before I could sleep. FML.

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Lola peed on me once :| I think it was because I was in my parents' camper, where there is not litterbox, and she hadn't been let out for like twelve hours.

I was scared to have her sleep near me for days afterwards. FMC

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Originally Posted by rubah

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Originally Posted by I'm my own MILF

Last night when I went to bed I discovered one of the cats had avoided the waterproof camping blanket and peed on the small part of the bed not covered by it. I had to spend an hour scrubbing and cleaning and changing the bedcovers before I could sleep. FML.

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Lola peed on me once :| I think it was because I was in my parents' camper, where there is not litterbox, and she hadn't been let out for like twelve hours.

I was scared to have her sleep near me for days afterwards. FMC

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I'd kill her. inb4 azn

I hope I'm doing this right.

Today I signed onto EoFF. FML.

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Originally Posted by Guardian XIII

I just got married. FMW

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xD

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Originally Posted by Guardian XIII

I just got married. FMW

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Well only if you insist.

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Originally Posted by Raistlin

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Originally Posted by Guardian XIII

I just got married. FMW

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Well only if you insist.

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I love it when I get permission.

She smurfed Raistlin. And PG. We're getting a divorce. FML :(

I had a great day at work on Monday despite not really being bothered with it, plenty of cute customers, one of whom was being incredibly flirty and ended her chat with me with the words "I will be seeing you soon! ;)" (filthy wink was there lol was awesome) I get home and am raping some fools on Halo Reach with Dan and Paul in a swat game when suddenly my sister screams for me to come quick and my mom comes flying in to my room to tell me that it looks like one of the cats has been run over. I immediately had to prematurely end my spree on halo by powering the machine off meaning I DNF the game I would've gotten 2 commendations in. I then find out my favourite kitty got hit by a neighbours car and she's in a right state. My sister is in bits and trying desperately to get through to the vets, my niece is crying her little heart out and my mom is desperately trying to keep them from seeing Jessie because Jessie is wrecked.

Eventually we managed to get her booked in to go to a vetinary college hospital me, my sister and her fella had to drive from London to South Mimms to get her there the entire way I'm holding the cat box with Jessie in trying to keep the poor thing concious because if she goes unconcious I'm scared she'll die and I promised my niece I wouldn't let that happen.

After getting her to the vets I am present when the vet examines her, her entire rear end is crushed, both rear legs are broken one irreparably she's lost the entire skin, flesh and hunks of bone from the leg. It's not looking good but the vet is positive he legally has to be can't say to us that the kindest thing is to put her down but he explains she will need 6 months or so of intensive care and operations if she is going to live. She's also going to cost about £6k to patch up and theres no guarantee if her spine was damaged she'll walk. However as he's talking to us she takes a turn for the worst as they put her on methedone she starts trying to escape to go hide causing her injuries to worsen. In the end we had to put her down, one of the worst experiences of my life was holding that poor kitty and saying "I'm sorry" as I stroke her and the vet kills her.

To make matters better I get home and this prick is trying to get in my grill online because he fancies this girl who fancies me. I could cuss the guy so much he'd wished he had decided to piss off Eminem instead but I'm that upset that I can't be bothered to reduce him to nothingness. Instead I knock back a full quart bottle of brandy neat on an empty stomach to numb the guilt of helping the vet kill my cat and to help me sleep because I was frankly disturbed by the extent of her injuries. I eventually pass out at 4am before having to get out of bed at 6am to get ready to go to work.

True story,

FML

I literally had nothing better to do than read that last post. FML.

I got drunk and argued with a girl on the internet. Now I'm in a contest where I can't shave long after I've confirmed the extent of my hair growing abilities. FMASL