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Mike and Lauren went out just once. Lauren called the date “horrific.” Mike, on the other hand, had a great time, and thought Lauren did, too. He texted and called her and got no response.
Unlike you and me, instead of just letting it go, Mike Googled her email address and wrote her a 1,600 word email about how she was a bad person for leading him on AND they were perfect for each other.
How to creep out the entire internet, lovelorn banker edition
Wish I had Mike's number.
Some of my favorite parts:
It would be very convenient for you to date me because we have the same interests. We already go to classical music performances by ourselves. If we go to classical music performances together, it wouldn’t take any significant additional time on your part.
How efficient!
You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening.
haha
hahahahahahah
Need to see more of this on the internet, it really helps give a boost to all the non-weirdo creepy guys out there that aren't perfect but at least aren't this guy either.
I don't know guys. They both really like classical music (which is the main thing he bases the potential long term romance off of) and their ages are compatible.
That's such a good match he didn't even feel the need to name other things in common! What more could a girl need?
All I know is any woman who plays with her hair and mentions it was nice to meet me better sex me up. It's just common courtesy.
I wish I had known that in high school. Apparently every girl in every class I ever had wanted to lick my lollipop, cause all they did all day in class was play with their hair. And they were all basically my age!!! I missed out on a lot of horrible sex and painful bjobs!
OMG and I like basically ALL music...so I should get ALL THE GIRLS.
the correct answer is that NOBODY is a good match for OP
I've received an email similar to that, only worse, and longer.
I should look back through Thunderbird and see if I still have it.
I dunno guys, he seems obviously like some sort of aspie who cannot do social interaction. I think we should be more -
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Originally Posted by Renmiri
Typical 1% scumbag banker pig with no morals. I bet you weren't worried about women when you were pumping my money into your fatass bank accounts via ways I won't consider. Asshole. Occupy restaurants.Quote:
banker
Well that just kept on going didn't it.
I believe it. Maybe you should post it on a social bookmarking site and see what happens!Quote:
Originally Posted by DMKA
I feel led on too by all those women who have talked to me and played with their hair in my presence and even made eye contact with me on a per-minute basis above the average amount that I have observed in other women I have interacted with before who for whatever reason generally were unable to look me in the eye (and who can blame them, with my body?).
Seriously, women: if you don't want to be stalked by a guy, don't look at or talk to them! Geez, is that so hard to understand?
Mike,
Thank God you e-mailed me. Shortly after our date, I was kidnapped by Chinese spies and imprisoned at a black site in the province of Tzao-bin. My captors are holding me ransom for 1 million dollars. I know that a sensitive man like you that has made his parents millions of dollars in investments can spare a million dollars to pay for my ransom. My eye contact with you and playing with my hair was intentional. I was too shy to tell you that I was in love with you at first sight. All of your suspicions are true! Please rescue me from this horrible place so that we can make beautiful love over and over again and grow old together!
Love, Lauren
brilliant! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Peegee
Not sure if this is a joke or not, but I know a guy who acts and thinks like this "Mike". He's one of the least pleasant people I've ever been around. I'm usually pretty polite and sociable, so once I asked him if he'd played Batman Arkham City and he just talked at length about the history of Robin and Nightwing and a whole bunch of tit no one cares about. When I took advantage of a pause in the lecture to change the subject, he interrupted me to "let me finish please". He has no social skills and this is how he interacts with women as well as men. It's actually one of the saddest things I've seen in a long time, like he can't see the distinction between making people listen to his tit out loud and in public and leaving it on a message board for people to ignore (or quote and ridicule).
Rant over.
i want to meet this guy. oh wait i've met guys like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Flying Arrow
last time i ever ask an obvious /v/tard whether or not to play dead space
Wow, Iceglow got a date?
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Originally Posted by Psychotic
hah.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
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Originally Posted by Psychotic
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Originally Posted by BalokiQuote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/10.../stevebert.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by Nikkihah.Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychotic
Look at that herp derp face.
Herrrrp?
smurf the lot of you on that one. I've got more class than this guy, Quin on the other hand....
Iceglow TM, now with more pedo stache.
That is not a pedo stache. There's not enough there. You want it to tickle.
You're right, it's a Spanish Conquistador stache.
A lot of times I feel like I'm like this. My brain is full of useless facts from browsing the wikis of shows I'll never watch, and playing video games. I'm an awful conversationalist, so if I don't fill up the time with useless facts, there's a massive awkward silence. *Sigh*Quote:
Originally Posted by Flying Arrow
I was DEFINITELY that way when I was younger, though, like 12-14. :P
But yeah, this guy should have taken the hint. Although, once I did send a letter kinda like that, but not because I was dumped. A girl asked me to "stop stalking her", and coming from her it just came off as obnoxious because she'd try to switch the topic to sex or something like that whenever we'd chat, and she was always talking about how everyone around her is stupid. If it weren't for the fact that we used to play FFXI together, then I would have de-friended so fast due to the creepiness and the total arrogance, but oh well. :-/
So, how bad is it that the first time I read through this (on another site, without the commentary) I thought the point was to empathize with the guy and it took me a good few minutes to realize that that wasn't the case?Quote:
Originally Posted by Renmiri
I guess I am just that aspergers
I agree, you certainly don't have more class than Quin.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceglow
Or Mike
To be fair, hurricane Katrina probably has more class than that guy as well.
I think that's just something to do with being a robot and not knowing why we cry or something.Quote:
Originally Posted by PikeSo, how bad is it that the first time I read through this (on another site, without the commentary) I thought the point was to empathize with the guy and it took me a good few minutes to realize that that wasn't the case?Quote:
Originally Posted by Renmiri
I guess I am just that aspergers
If you took Katrina on a date, she'd blow you away. /smugQuote:
Originally Posted by Levian
Hurr hurr, punspunspuns.
Hahaha the hair thing reminds me of my brother at fourteen. He thought that girls were like, hardwired to play with their hair when they were horny. Like, they couldn't not do that. I had to explain to him that typically, girls just do that when they are fidgety, whether it's because they're nervous, bored, or anxious to get the hell out of there like I imagine this Lauren woman was. And that sometimes girls do play with their hair when they are flirting, but this is a deliberate attempt at being cute, not something that they are compulsed to do.
O.o Iceglow you have a "porn-stache" ?
No, I grew one for the Movember it is well, and truly gone from my face right now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Renmiri
We may mock him for how he looked, but Iceglow did a damn good deed and most of the rest of you, myself included, are pussies for not participating.
Granted I can't grow facial hair but STILL.
I totes would have done it if I'd had the correct amount of testosterone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
Mocking is part of the fun. :monster:Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening.
Great. Now I cannot for the life of me get The Streets "Could well be in" out of my head.
Holy trout.
Dude's got problems.
Hey, now let's not get ahead of ourselves.Quote:
Originally Posted by Clo
I'm sorry, Iceglow x
99 problems and a bitch ain't one?Quote:
Originally Posted by Clo
If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you son.Quote:
Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod99 problems and a bitch ain't one?Quote:
Originally Posted by Clo
I got 99 problems and your mom is one.
/smugQuote:
Originally Posted by Genji
That whore.
I just want to make sure everyone understands that Nikki, Genji, and NorthernChaosGod aren't really creepy perverted weirdos, but are simply giving us a steady stream of examples of how not to act around members of the opposite sex.
I don't know what you're talking about. :confused:
LOLQuote:
In my opinion, you shouldn’t act that way toward a man and then not go out with him again. It’s bad to play with your hair so much and make so much eye contact if you’re not interested in going out with me again.
Of course. What else would I be doing? :monster:Quote:
Originally Posted by chionos
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Originally Posted by chionos
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Originally Posted by chionos
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Originally Posted by chionos
:grover:Quote:
Originally Posted by chionos
Yeah, Genji is super creepy and perverted.
I'm okay with this.
This thread is so confusing. why would a girl even talk to you if she wasn't interested in sex?
i haven't ever even touched a girl before so excuse my question.
It's good to know that Peegee thinks all women want one thing. /smug
I just want your money. ;D
JUST KIDDING. I'M A MILLIONAIRE, WHAT DO I NEED MORE MONEY FOR?
Nikki is a total pervert too, she perved on me via Google Maps. I have an e-off-er-stalker!
Can you go over how to get a boyfriendless girl friend ?Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceglow
You wish I was really stalking you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iceglow
If you was really stalking me, I'd get a restraining order. Not because I'd be like worried or something but because I've always wanted to do that to someone.
Ergo, yes I do WISH you were REALLY stalking me.
If a woman were stalking me, I'd abuse the situation to hook up with a creepy person.
I would avoid this situation at all costs. Stuff can only go wrong when that happens :|Quote:
Originally Posted by Genji
I can usually handle those situations.
Oh I bet you can.
I don't know how well I would do though.
I would never hook up with another stalker.
Stalkers are good because they're obsessed. Their sex is pure energy.
/smugQuote:
Originally Posted by Genji
You're good people.Quote:
Originally Posted by Genji
I'm many people.
Oh trust me, I would know.Quote:
Originally Posted by Genji
I'm glad you understand.
I dated my stalker once. It was pretty cool until she threatened to kill my cat out of jealousy. I told her affectionately, "Please don't kill my cat. I'll have to get a restraining order if you do, and neither of us wants that."
All she said was, "Hmph. Fine."
She's in aloony binmental institution now. I don't miss her. Although she does still have some of my hair that I would like to get back.
I am so loving this thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by Genji
how was the sex?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cloud Strife777I dated my stalker once. It was pretty cool until she threatened to kill my cat out of jealousy. I told her affectionately, "Please don't kill my cat. I'll have to get a restraining order if you do, and neither of us wants that."
All she said was, "Hmph. Fine."
She's in aloony binmental institution now. I don't miss her. Although she does still have some of my hair that I would like to get back.
I am so loving this thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by Genji
My stalker was a virgin O.o Somehow he got into his head he wanted me to be his first. Threatened suicide and all. I threatened to tell his mom and he stopped... I was 18 at the time.
OHHHHOHOHOHO MY GAWD IT WAS smurfING AMAZINGQuote:
Originally Posted by Peegeehow was the sex?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cloud Strife777I dated my stalker once. It was pretty cool until she threatened to kill my cat out of jealousy. I told her affectionately, "Please don't kill my cat. I'll have to get a restraining order if you do, and neither of us wants that."
All she said was, "Hmph. Fine."
She's in aloony binmental institution now. I don't miss her. Although she does still have some of my hair that I would like to get back.
I am so loving this thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by Genji