God exists, and He hates you.

Of course, an omnipotent being can be whatever gender they want (maybe all genders?), so God is technically a Qu.

But anyway, proof that God exists.

Person A: "I can't drink because I'm on painkillers. My wisdom teeth really hurt!"
Person B: "I don't get that. My wisdom teeth aren't hurting me at all. Maybe your mouth is getting back at you for all that cock you force upon it?"

The very next day, Person B (who shall henceforth be known as Mr. Q) suffered intolerable but kind of hilarious pain from a wisdom tooth that had apparently decided to shoot out at a jaunty angle overnight. He then pulled his hamstring and fell over onto his drum kit at one in the morning.

What proof do you have that God actively hates you?

No matter how hard I try, I can't agree with God. I think he's just smurfing with me and purposely being impossible.

The fact that I seem to be surrounded by friends with asshats for parents disproves God rather than proves humans are s..poop tier parents.

The constant annoyance that every single genuine, awesome connection I have are with people who are geographically inaccessible. Actually this was recently disproved so I guess god does exist.

disregard that i suck cocks.

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Originally Posted by Quin

What proof do you have that God actively hates you?

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Your continued presence on this Earth.

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Originally Posted by Psychotic

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Originally Posted by Quin

What proof do you have that God actively hates you?

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Your continued presence on this Earth.

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See, if you banned him from EoFF it might show God what to do. hint hint

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Originally Posted by Peegee

The fact that I seem to be surrounded by friends with asshats for parents disproves God rather than proves humans are s..poop tier parents.

The constant annoyance that every single genuine, awesome connection I have are with people who are geographically inaccessible. Actually this was recently disproved so I guess god does exist.

disregard that i suck cocks.

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Why should we disregard it, that's potentially a very interesting piece of information to hang on to. I can't help but pass this information on to others, namely NorthernChaosGod and possibly Pike.

I think posting in a public forum is a fairly effective method of passing on information already.

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Originally Posted by chionos

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Originally Posted by Peegee

The fact that I seem to be surrounded by friends with asshats for parents disproves God rather than proves humans are s..poop tier parents.

The constant annoyance that every single genuine, awesome connection I have are with people who are geographically inaccessible. Actually this was recently disproved so I guess god does exist.

disregard that i suck cocks.

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Why should we disregard it, that's potentially a very interesting piece of information to hang on to. I can't help but pass this information on to others, namely NorthernChaosGod and possibly Pike.

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I'm fairly sure NCG already knows. :jokey:

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Originally Posted by Quin

I think posting in a public forum is a fairly effective method of passing on information already.

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Some people do not pay attention to who the OP is,
others do.

I pay attention. In fact, I happen to know who started the thread. It was Quin.

*Insert joke about X music artist having a Number 1 hit*

Tal Bachman - She's So High

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Originally Posted by NeoCracker

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Originally Posted by chionos

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Originally Posted by Peegee

The fact that I seem to be surrounded by friends with asshats for parents disproves God rather than proves humans are s..poop tier parents.

The constant annoyance that every single genuine, awesome connection I have are with people who are geographically inaccessible. Actually this was recently disproved so I guess god does exist.

disregard that i suck cocks.

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Why should we disregard it, that's potentially a very interesting piece of information to hang on to. I can't help but pass this information on to others, namely NorthernChaosGod and possibly Pike.

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I'm fairly sure NCG already knows. :jokey:

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I... what? :confused:

Once God was getting on a bus and he sort of crossed my path and totally shoved me. I was upset and told him so and he said "Sorry, mate. Accident" then when he got driven away on the bus he was in the window doing rude hand gestures at me

I saw someone who came off as God in the reflection of a window. He sat and smiled right at me. I turned around and he was nowhere to be seen. This man was of Middle Eastern blood.

Often, this elderly man would follow me around in public. Same guy... he'd be walking my way and he'd give me the most reassuring and genuine smile, wave, and hat-tilt. I saw him so many times. It's impossible.

I don't know if he hates me, but he seems to enjoy ruining my birthdays.

2009: I get fired on my birthday.
2010: My wife gets fired on my birthday.
2011: The police are pulling the body of a good friend of mine out of the river the day before my birthday,

And I just realized that my answer is a lot less humorous than I would have liked for a not so serious thread.

I guess there was that time my ride cymbal fell over beside my bed at 3 in the morning. That was all kinds of smurfing terrifying. I choose to blame god rather than my newbie mounting skills given that god is generally a dick. Seriously, it's in the bible.

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Originally Posted by Quin

What proof do you have that God actively hates you?

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Brian Reynolds went to Zynga, started making Facebook games, and said that if he ever gets the rights to SMAC again he is going to turn it into an action-RPG.

Also: the new Xcom game.

inb4 Manus makes fun of me

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Originally Posted by Pike

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Originally Posted by Quin

What proof do you have that God actively hates you?

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Brian Reynolds went to Zynga, started making Facebook games, and said that if he ever gets the rights to SMAC again he is going to turn it into an action-RPG.

Also: the new Xcom game.

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Can I change my answer?

I'm suffering insomnia severely, I was on the early at work on Monday meaning at the time of writing this post (0600 gmt) I was getting up for work. Tuesday (today) I work a late shift, this means I will finish work at 2200 (gmt) I haven't slept nor do I feel inclined to sleep at this time. I am fairly certain that this, along with the existence of Quin and the fact that the little gaylord cannot ever seemingly communicate with me on XBL (probably because he blocked all communication from me) which makes 4 player instances of Gears, Halo or even just 4 person parties relatively awkward for everyone proves this.

God definitely exists... he just chooses to ignore me.

I burnt my arm on the oven the other day. Did he give me any warning? No. All I'm asking for is an ethereal voice to say...

"My son, doth though not see the impending danger of offering thy right arm to a heated chamber to retrieve a stuffed-crust BBQ pizza? If though uses the 'spatula of light' thy task will be successful and unnecessary pain avoided. Amen"

Nope, nothing. he probably just sat there, smirking... before swanning off to watch Angel porn on his laptop.

I'd prefer my God to shout "Dickhead! Watch the hob! For smurf's sake, I smurfing warned you. This is why I don't bother with you useless :bou::bou::bou::bou:s anymore..."

That God would be awesome.

Oh, I have much proof that God hates me. Unfortunately, I cannot post any of it, because then he would know I'm aware of it. And then he'd smite me. Thank God this post and my mind are the only two things in this world protected from his view, so he'll never know.

Hate to break it to you, but he can probably see both :shiny:

Well smurf Jiro, does that mean...

Do you think he saw us?
Shet, I never even thought of that.
Dude I'm freaking out here. You really think he saw us? You smurfing told me that nobody would ever know. Why did you lie to me? I mean, smurf, who else knows? It was a mistake dammit. You smurfing manipulated me. I've just been so lonely lately, and you took advantage of me. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. You stole my innocence you perverted lecherous boy! Don't ever talk to me again!

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Originally Posted by chionos

Well smurf Jiro, does that mean...

Do you think he saw us?

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Alex, I think the question is 'What do you call a blind dinosaur?'