Since we were on this subject on my last thread.....
What's the cheesiest/creepiest pick up lines...
...you've read, used or perhaps heard being used on you?
(Hey how's that for posting style?):cool:
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Since we were on this subject on my last thread.....
What's the cheesiest/creepiest pick up lines...
...you've read, used or perhaps heard being used on you?
(Hey how's that for posting style?):cool:
"Hey baby, you must've fallen from Heaven, because I want to cum in your hair". That's pretty creepy.
Hey baby, are you a parking ticket? Cause you've got fine written all over you.
I would gouge out my eyes so you could have more holes to smurf me in.
Anything Rantz says.
Are you from Mars? Cause, baby, your ass is out of this world!
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
Nice pants. I think they'd look better on my floor.
How about we skip the part where I steal your panties and you just let me dive right in there.
If you don't come home with me tonight I will stab you in the chest for all the times I was rejected.
Y'know babe, the sexual tension is so thick in here that you could cut it with my erect penis. :smug:
yo baby you wanna equip my materia in your mouth slot?
I'd hit it.Quote:
Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon
yo baby tonight i'ma make you scream 'kweh kweh' all night long. :choc:
I don't have any bad lines but I've got a truly genius one that is foolproof as long as you can duplicate the charisma of its originator (not bloody likely!) On XBL the other day Steve told us a pickup line he claims to have successfully used to get Molly Ringwald in bed with him. Let me see if I can remember it correctly. Oh, it's important to remember that this isn't a pickup line so much as a pickup shout at the top of your lungs, remember that if you try it for yourself.
"Yeah yeah me name's Cawsa-smif innit? Steev Cawsa-smif. Yeah yeah, you're dead hot you are, almost as hot as an engineer's omni-blade in Mass Effect 3 which I've sold many copies of at my job. I ain't gonna tell you where I work though, spoil the mystery wouldn't it. Well yeah yeah this place I work has wound me up lately so I'm going to quit and buy a pair of stilts that add seven or eight inches to my height, and then I'm going to pursue my true calling in life. I want to be the bloke that chews chewing gum then breathes on breath smeller's faces so they can assess whether the chewing gum is working as advertised. Don't worry I don't have halle berry's toes or nothing in fact their gum would probably make me breath smell worse, yeah yeah. Want to smell me breath love? Me sister says it smells like elderflower cordial. Yeah yeah do you want to come out with me tonight darlin', I'm scheduled for some special forces operations with me comrades and the useless smurfers won't make it without me but the galaxy can wait until tomorrow to be saved. Yeah yeah. Yeah yeah, I saw you in New Look beside Marble Arch this morning so I followed you so I would get a chance to talk to you. No need to worry about paying me back I'm mates with Boris innit, he makes sure I don't have to pay for the Tube or anything. Yeah yeah you've got a lovely arse, I love that little birthmark on your left cheek too, I saw that when you were trying on that skirt in Topman. Then when we went to get ice cream I dug your trash out of the bin so I could take a proper look, I've got your DNA now and you should know you are predispatched to getting multiple scloresis, I've got a mate works for CSI and he ran the checks for you, and if we have kids you've got a ten percent higher than usual chance of giving them a club foot or cleft palate. Speaking of palate I can't say I agree with your taste in sandwiches but I suppose after analysing your poo I can tell you've got a healthy diet so even if you don't put a load of mayo on your marmite sandwiches we can still make something work. It does make your poo a bit lacking though I am used to richer tastes. Yeah yeah I've always had a thing for redheads and when I watched you in Diff'rent Strokes it was the first time I cracked one off to a girl that wasn't family I do wish you still looked like that though but then I suppose if you did I wouldn't be able to compare the curtains and the carpet to see that you are genuinely a redhead now would I because you wouldn't have any hair down there because girls that young don't have pubic hair EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE yeah yeah so do you want to have sex right now or are you a prude who won't do it on the Tube in front of twenty other people oh I suppose a terrorist nearby could be a turnoff EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE yeah I said terrorist because that man is brown and therefore a terrorist joke is well timed and witty innit anyway darlin' you've taken up enough of my time so we'll just do it in the bogs at Piccadilly Circus and I'll give you my number don't worry I've already got yours I looked through your handbag while you were ordering that sandwich earlier so I've got your numbers, addresses, and emails. Yeah yeah, after I shag you now you won't want anyone else so I'll call you later and you can come over and put me in a nappy and I'll pretend you're my auntie and if I'm wearing my stilts I'll be able to reach your breasts to suckle on them I bet your milk is delicious."
yo baby can i junction you to myself and then boost you with my square button all nite?
Who puts mayo in their Marmite sandwiches? For God's sake, Steve.
I would like to extend to you, an invitation to the pants party.
Pretty cool but I wish you had either added an ellipsis at the start of the second line or removed the one at the start of the third line for consistencyQuote:
Originally Posted by jenovajunkie
Inb4 Rag and chloroform line
I never use chat-up lines but this is one of the worst ones I've heard...
"Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants tonight"
Pick up lines are shallow, and tell the woman nothing about you. A classy lady deserves more than that.
Open up to her. Try a more personalized ice breaker. Something like, "Hi, I'm Russel. One time I was fingering my sister and I found my dad's wedding ring in there."
Then offer to buy her a drink. Or smell your hand.
This is a pickup line I know but I would never use.
But it's so great I hope that @julian will use it, tape the response and show me
>Studies have shown that if a man can bench 150 [small girls] / 200 [bigger girls] they can hold a woman down without them being able to do anything about it.
[pause]
>I can bench [mass]
hay gurl how bout u be the midgar zolom and i be sephiroth tonight ey
roses are red
violets are blue
stick this in my ass
it's a pool cue
Want to join my Dungeons & Dragons group? We could use an enchanter, and you've already cast Charm Person on me :jokey:
yo baby why you being so frigid u all colder than the hills of narshe lemme go all ifrit on your heart
Hahaha these are hilarious, I think I may use some for the fun of it! Any bets how man slaps/drinks in the face I'll get? Haha I'm going for 6. Sharkythesharkdog... I'm not asking for lines to use(although I may for jokes!) and I know they tell nothing about your character.
"Would you like to exchange bodily fluids tonight?"
"I'm afraid I'm a Jehova's Witness. Would you like to come back to my place to talk about the Bible?"Quote:
Originally Posted by fierytempest
lol god's loveQuote:
Originally Posted by Quin 'n' Tonic"I'm afraid I'm a Jehova's Witness. Would you like to come back to my place to talk about the Bible?"Quote:
Originally Posted by fierytempest
*while looking at a woman's crotch*
Call me Chris Brown because I would hit that allllllll night!
Blasting them with a fire extinguisher followed by the line "sorry baby but yo ass is on fire!" tends to work well.
Good thing I bring my library card wherever I go...because I'm checking you out!!
Oooh baby, the word of the day is 'legs', now let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Works every time. :cool:
baby u got a beautiful esper of eyes/breasts
So...my girlfriend started posting some of this stuff to me and I thought it sounded familiar. Then she tells me that she was googling FF pickup lines for a laugh and this thread turned up..
I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangential to your curves.
Being without you is like being a metric space in which exists a Cauchy sequence that does not converge.
Your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors.
I wish I was your problem set, because then i'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on the desk.
Hey... nice asymptote.
Are you a professional skateboarder and did you just do a 900 into my life? Because that wheelchair makes you look like Tony Hawk.
That's horrible....... lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Sylvie
Wow, baby, you look a lot like Christopher Walken in that wheelchair. Except you're not walken. Sorry, I meant Christopher Reeve.
http://abilitiesunited.com/images/ch...eeve_oscar.jpg
"Ohhhh, man!"
Nice tits.
Get down on the ground and put your hands behind your head.
That's a pick-up line for two types of orientation, works for black men too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cim
OOO SNAP! J/K
That's bad, I shouldn't have said that.
I like to approach ladies in bars by saying "Hello, I'm not a sexual predator".
Lying to yourself is not an efficient tactic.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirage
I'm not lying to myself, I'm lying to the woman.
Huh, ain't that a bitch.Quote:
Originally Posted by I Don't Need A Name
This is great.Quote:
Originally Posted by I Don't Need A Name
Are your parents retarded? Because you look really special.
I'm not being obtuse, but you're acute girl.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigmafuzz
According to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of QM, we may already be in love right now.
While i was waiting for the train to go home from downtown this real creepy homeless dude came up to me and said this
"Hey baby how u doing? yea that's great but you know what would be greater? if me and you could take a trip down the river for some long time boating" i felt sorry for the dude but also felt real creeped out. so i ran as fast as i could to get away.
Did he wait for your answer to "Hey baby how you doing?" before he continued? Because if not, that is fantastic.
lol as a matter of fact he interrupted me before i was able to say get away from me.lmao.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiro
"I bet I could be a prettier bitch than you are right now"
That is so smurfing excellent.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sylvie
This guy sounds disturbingly like Iceglow... You don't live in London, do you?Quote:
Originally Posted by oldskoolfreak
This guy is much more your style Arthur, don't be shy. My moves are bold and epic in scope but they're also far more subtle and smooth. Hell Psy knows this for a fact, he had front row seats to me in action charming a female police officer today.Quote:
Originally Posted by Flambard D'QuincetethThis guy sounds disturbingly like Iceglow... You don't live in London, do you?Quote:
Originally Posted by oldskoolfreak
"i see you got handcuffs ma'am. that's pretty hot. care to show me around your evidence room?"
My gf used this one on me... and it worked... xD
"Hey, you look toast?" -Her
"Umm, Ya..." -Me
"Oh! Me Too, Let's bang."
"Is that a mirror in your pants? Because I can totally see myself in them!"
"whenever i see u it's like my one eyed monster just got attacked by a cockatrice (cause it got petrified)"
edit: great start to a new page
Hͧ̆̌ͮ̾͠҉̗o̯̞̦̙͙̖̥ͨ̚͠w̙̗̯͑̒̀̈́̏̂̐̕͝ͅ ̡̙̳̻̱̯̪̦ͪ͋͊͊͋͆ͥ͞w̢͔̰͚̦̃ͯ̓̎̾͊͢͜o̗̮̙ͯ̉̃̈́͟ṷ̢̮̞ͭͣ̋̾͑l͇̯̟̠̽̍͒͋̓ͪͤͧd̋͐̆̽̈̉͟҉̷̹͚͍̯ͅ ̖̫͕̫͔͇̼ͩ̿̂̄̽y͖̩ͪ̏̍ͯͅoͩ̄ͯ̄͂̄͏̴̲̞̘̙̱͚u̗̜͕̝͙̬̗͌ͧ̀̄͝ ̧̙̗̞̠͇̔ͫͫ̈́̈̂ļ̰̗͔ͥȋ̜̫̙͇̌̈́͂̈̽̚k̵̙̙͙̪͐ẻ͓̥̪̣͊̎͠ ̹̲̈́͘͢t̢̢̧̪͙̻̝̟ͫo̶͖ͬ́ͯ͑ͭ̚ ̢ͮͪ̆̌̑ͣ̿̂ͪ͞͏͓͎p̶̝̠̱̉ͣ̌̿̎̇͊̄͠ë̴̫͕̠͕̥̗͕̟͑͌͆̄̑̂ͫͪ͢͡ͅtͫ̅ͮͭͧ͗̚͏̝͈̱̰ ͒͂́҉̧͍̤͔̖m͍͉̖̰͎͇̏ͧ͋͑̃ͦ̽͒͆́ŷ̩͙̯̟̰͛̔͟ ̴̺̳̩̠̲̙͓ͥ͛ͣ͋ͮ͒̕d̵̢̡̟̬̙͇̬̪͊͗̔o̲̠̟̱͙̭̪ͭg̠͈͍̗̱̩̖ͬ̑̏ͨ͗ͪ̾ͣ́?̗͙̫̱̝̠̓ͣͩ̉͞
i am legit impressed
and google can't process that. what'd you use?
I used the power of the internet god Z͙͕̱͖̫͚͙̝̖̉̄͐͊͆a̷̢̭̹͗ͦͬ̇̋̚ĺ͇̮͛ͣͫͦ͂́͟ĝ̱̩̪̞͉o̬̝̞̪̥͌͑ͩ͂͑͑͞
lol. No i don't live in London.Quote:
Originally Posted by Flambard D'QuincetethThis guy sounds disturbingly like Iceglow... You don't live in London, do you?Quote:
Originally Posted by oldskoolfreak
I ŗem̨e͘mb́e͡r t̸he f̵irst ̧t̶ime I ͟w͘ro͞te s̸om̕et̨hin͡g "͜Za͢lgo-̸fi̢e̢ḑ."̛Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypoallergenic Cactuar
It was fun.
e̘̖̞ͪ͗ͤ̄̒̑͂̒̓̿ͧͮ́ͬ̿̾͐ͥ́͢ͅy̼̣̪͉̜͓̦̜̝̞̝͚͖͙͕̼̙͙̅̂̀̓̎͊̈́͘͠.̴̢̂́ͮ̀̃̿͗͐̉͆̇͂ͧ̀̔̑҉̵̨̜̥͉̘ͅ ̡̞͉̩̲̤͔ͮ̀͒̊̀ͯ͋ͤ̔͒͂́͐͊̇̐̚͘ͅͅ ̴̸̬͇͔̗̭̹̬̺̟̫͇̞̪ͣ͊̉ͨ̄̉ͩ̆ͯ͒̉̊͘͢͡W̾̅̆͆́͗ͨͦ͆̃̿ͫ̇͜҉͚̟̪̼̺͚̺͔̦̰͉ͅỡ̶͎̟̫̞̠̞̇ͣ́̿͛ͤ̌ͮͯ̔̈́ͭ̋͛̌͠ͅu͆ͥ͛́ͬ̽̓̾ͫ͒̀͠͞͞ ͙̟͓͉̮̘̲̝͈͇̜̖͘͢l̂̒̓̈̎̔͑̿͊̈̈́̾͆̚҉̨̢̛̝̫̜͡d̯̞̠ͥ̎͋̍ͫͣ̋̽̏͌ͮ͂͑̂̕͟ ̏̐͂͐ͨͪͤͬͮ͂ͦ͑͊̔̚҉̸͏̡̻̻̯̥̭̥̙̖̥̜͈͙͟y̷̠͍͉̱̮̤̼̓̐͌̾͋̽̃͛ͣ͐ͣͤ͛̚̚ͅo̤̟̠̦͖̱̲̤̊̋ͨ͒̇̀̈̈́ͥ̀ͯ̓ͧ̒͋ͭ͗͘ͅu̶̶͒̐̈̑ͣͧ̈́͛͒͌͞͏ ͍̝̲͈͓͎ ̯̺̹̺̪̳̯͂ͯ́͘͢͡l̸̥̦̭̲̲̎̆͌ͬ̑̌̌͒̀ͅḭ̶̻͈̲͔̦̗̌̃͐ͦ͂̒̓͆ͭ͡͠k̸̥̗̫͉͍͖̽̃͐̽ͩ̿̈́̃ͨͤ̿̉͛͐̚ḝ̹͈͚̬̻͕͗̄͊ͫͥͣͥ́̀ ̵̬͍̬̣͍̓ͦ͌̚͡a̸̜̪̯͚̣̝̯͚͔̲̯̥̦͕̹ͮ͂͑ͤͦͭ̇̎̀̇̊̌̐̌͊̃̏́̎͝͞ͅͅ ̵̶̜̥̟̲̝̣͉̤̠͕͂ͨ͑̐͐̌ͫ͐ͨ̍̍̋ͥ́̀̚ͅm̨̘͍̭̟͈̫͇̣͈̩͙̮̾̃̓̔̊͛̚͜͝ė̷̈̎͒͋̑̃̉͊ͯ͌ͮ̿͊̀҉͚͔͈͎̺ ̷̮͙̠͚̩̙̞̳̩͇̖̹͎̮͉̳̆̓́́̌̈́͒̈͛̐͜͞fͣ̌ͭ́̚͏̶̰̣͓̥͍͞͠l̶͕̺̗̱͊̑ͫ͊͢͡͝͝a̶̠̪̩͉̼̼͕̜ͬ͗̈́̎̽̂̑̍̃̇́͛̏ͯ̀̽̈͜͞͡v̴̵̾͑̌̒͋͋͂͘ ̰͍̞̞͔̖͘͟o̴̡̱̰̙̜̖̠͍̥̥͓̘ͥ͋͑ͯ͋̽̓ͧ͌̅̀̕ͅr̳̟̜͇̭͓͎͕ͮ̐̀͌ͦ͛ͣ͊ͩ͊ͬ̊̂̈́͌͋́ͅe̶̛̪̣̤͖̗͇̔͋̌̿́̓ͬ̋͐̔͆̿͋̂ͨ̄ͩͧ͜͡͠dͫ̃̍̑̊̽̚ ̷̙̱̫͚̯͇͙̼̜͉̥͖̫̠͖̱̮̮̩̈̐̀ ̢̡̲͙͉͚̯̮̇ͨ̄̉̐̇ͧ̇̊ͪͥ̿ͫͬ̀̅̊̄ͪ͟͡l͔͇̦̼̜͓̲̼ͨͦ̑̓ͮ̋̾̃̈ͦͫͤ̈̅ͫ̃̚̕ǭ̒͒ͦ̋ͭ͏͙̣̩̜̪̳̞͔̙͝ļ̴̵̟̱̟̻͇̙̜͙̿̎ͧ̀i̋̐ͧ̒͐̄̐͒ ̷̬͖͉̺̺̳̖̬̻̣ͪ̇̃͆̃́̀͝p̜̰̬̝̫̖̝̖̮̫̬̪̟̠̘͖͕̐̃͛̏̐̐ͩͣͮͪͩ̎͌ͪ̌̒͢oͩ̇̎͐̏̿̏̾̅ͥ̈́ͯͪ̌̔҉̢̣̹̟̯̝̞̰̬̞̰̼͙͕̫̥ͅṗ̷̙̯̗̦̣͇̾́̂ ̰?ͧͬͪ͛́̓̈́ͮ̓̆͒̑ͥ̃͏̷͉̠̼̣̣̥͖͇̝͍̼̺͔̜̫́
An HC-flavored lollipop sounds disgusting.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypoallergenic Cactuar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigmafuzz
Well this is the creepiest pick up line thread, I shouldn't be surprised by a reference to HC's lollipop
"Next on My Little Penis!"
(SPOILER)I just wanted to post the play on words HC, I ain't accusing you of anything. ;)
kotora: what do you mean they meet open condensing
sylvie: where they close
kotora: then why not just say that
sylvie; because thats how i talk
kotora: it makes no sense
kotora; condensation and car doors have nothing in common
sylvie; condense
sylvie: not condensate
sylvie: condense
kotora: what
sylvie: aka retreat into a more partial, concise form
sylvie: condensate is to condensation
sylvie: condense is not
kotora: k
sylvie: yeah you don't have s**t on me
Sounds like being hit on by Sylvie would be incredibly confusing
kotora tried to hit on me once by telling me he had the best taste in games of anyone I knew.
It didn't work.