Online dating profiles!

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03-23-2012, 10:30 PM
jenovajunkie

Online dating profiles!
Date date date...
...love love love...

....or stalk stalk stalK.

I'm really enjoying forums!

My first love was the one to get me playing FF7. Maybe that's why I associate dating/love with FF. I don't know how I got on this site though...

So I was reading "krissy"'s last post on my pick up
line thread, and she suggested online dating.

So this got me thinking again. And you know what happens when I think.
Let's thread about it!

:kakapo:
- So what would you put in your profile?
- If you were looking for your ideal partner, what would be things you would look for? AND...
- If you have/had already seen profiles, what is the most ridiculous one you have seen?
I promise my next thread will pertain to this site's main theme. And of course you can make up profiles. But I want genuine stuff, but joking is always good!
03-23-2012, 10:36 PM
Jinx

I just want a guy with a big dick.
03-23-2012, 10:40 PM
Peegee

Quote:

Originally Posted by fierytempest

I just want a guy with a big dick.

Will you settle for a guy who's a big dick?
03-23-2012, 11:24 PM
Sephex

I have an excuse to post this now. My OkCupid profile.

OkCupid | Sephex / 29 / M / Flossmoor, Illinois

If you liked that, further reading (journal posts):

OkCupid | Sephex / 29 / M / Flossmoor, Illinois
03-23-2012, 11:44 PM
Shlup

I feel like I should be censoring this thread, but I can't decide if it's the use of the word "dick" or Sephex's OKCupid profile that's the offensive part. IT'S TOO LONG, SEPHEX.

My online dating profile would have to say "I am an adulterous whore," but I don't have one because I'm not.
03-23-2012, 11:52 PM
Jiro

Sephex's profile is the best thing ever. I can't afford the rate though :(

What would I put in my profile? Nothing. I would leave it absolutely blank and let my innate magnetism attract them.
03-24-2012, 12:40 AM
Goldenboko

I would just put a picture of Dakoda.
03-24-2012, 01:18 AM
Bunny

The internet is a place for truth and honesty and that is exactly what I would do.
03-24-2012, 02:00 AM
jenovajunkie

Hey internet is for truth and honesty? Sure, and santa claus really eats the cookies you leave him, not the Easter Bunny. Sephex, I read your profile. 9.99 eh? AN HOUR?? At least if the girl sleeps with you, she'll only have to pay a small fraction of the hourly rate. Wait bad joke.....? How about this, at least you can CHARGE THEM. Which is the opposite fact for me. Oh boy... so how bout them chocobo's?
03-24-2012, 02:14 AM
Sephex

To everyone who looked at my profile so far: I am glad you guys are enjoying it. I wrote it several years ago very hung over. That probably wasn't a good decision.

NOTE: With the profile up there exactly how it is I have met and dated several people.
03-24-2012, 02:29 AM
Jiro

People probably find you entertaining and funny and even witty and take a gamble. How many bodies do you have stored now?
03-24-2012, 02:36 AM
Bunny

That is a very personal question, Jiro.
03-24-2012, 02:42 AM
Jiro

We have a good relationship.
03-24-2012, 03:02 AM
Sephex

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bunny

That is a very personal question, Jiro.

It's not a problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiro

People probably find you entertaining and funny and even witty and take a gamble. How many bodies do you have stored now?

Only one. The rest of them I threw out after -snip-

No one wants to know that, Sephex.~mod
03-24-2012, 03:29 AM
fire_of_avalon

eHarmony rejected me.
03-24-2012, 03:33 AM
Shiny

Why do they reject people?
03-24-2012, 03:53 AM
Jinx

Cos in life, they're still starting characters.
03-24-2012, 03:55 AM
fire_of_avalon

I don't know I just like to make people uncomfortable by telling them that.
03-24-2012, 07:51 AM
jenovajunkie

Wouldn't that confuse people? I would be confused, not uncomfortable.
03-24-2012, 08:33 AM
Freya

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenovajunkie

So I was reading "krissy"'s last post on my pick up
line thread, and she suggested online dating.

Lol she.... heh
03-24-2012, 08:38 AM
Jiro

krissy a bro bro nevermind dat av and dat nombreh
03-24-2012, 05:06 PM
krissy

I just want a guy with a big dick.
03-24-2012, 05:19 PM
jenovajunkie

Well that's misleading, especially the comment above. So much to learn....

Quote:

Originally Posted by fierytempest

Cos in life, they're still starting characters.

What do you mean, they are some sort of step in his journey? I apologize if I'm incredibly dumb right now, I'm tired and my mind is mush from drinking the night before.
03-24-2012, 05:23 PM
NeoCracker

Quote:

Originally Posted by fierytempest

I just want a guy with a big dick.

Quote:

Originally Posted by krissy

I just want a guy with a big dick.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :cry:
03-24-2012, 06:31 PM
drotato

My friends made me an okcupid account one time when we were all drinking and being stupid, and they put all kinds of crap on there about how much I put out and whatnot. The next day, we checked it, and I had like a hundred notifications.

Hmm... If there's something to be said there, I'm not sure what it is...
03-24-2012, 09:11 PM
NorthernChaosGod

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoCracker

Quote:

Originally Posted by fierytempest

I just want a guy with a big dick.

Quote:

Originally Posted by krissy

I just want a guy with a big dick.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :cry:

But you're Big Mac. o_O
03-24-2012, 11:22 PM
Ultima Shadow

Quote:

Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoCracker

Quote:

Originally Posted by fierytempest

I just want a guy with a big dick.

Quote:

Originally Posted by krissy

I just want a guy with a big dick.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :cry:

But you're Big Mac. o_O

If he's Big Mac, then I am Double Quarter Pounder. :cool:
03-24-2012, 11:26 PM
NeoCracker

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ultima Shadow

Quote:

Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoCracker

Quote:

Originally Posted by fierytempest

I just want a guy with a big dick.

Quote:

Originally Posted by krissy

I just want a guy with a big dick.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :cry:

But you're Big Mac. o_O

If he's Big Mac, then I am Double Quarter Pounder. :cool:

So you're excessively greasy?
03-24-2012, 11:51 PM
Ultima Shadow

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoCracker

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ultima Shadow

Quote:

Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoCracker

Quote:

Originally Posted by fierytempest

I just want a guy with a big dick.

Quote:

Originally Posted by krissy

I just want a guy with a big dick.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :cry:

But you're Big Mac. o_O

If he's Big Mac, then I am Double Quarter Pounder. :cool:

So you're excessively greasy?

Well, though I would use another word for it personally, I guess you could use "greasy" to describe the after-sex state of me, my partner and even the surrounding area. I usually need to call the cleaning department afterwards too.
03-25-2012, 12:02 AM
NeoCracker

...For the sake of ever getting laid, I highly suggest you never say that again.
03-25-2012, 12:22 AM
Ultima Shadow

It's called "fetish", Neo. Some just happen to be a bit more "extreme" than others. :jokey:
03-25-2012, 12:25 AM
NeoCracker

I originally had a comment for NCG, but I was derailed by images of grease.
03-25-2012, 12:32 AM
Ultima Shadow

Now you'll never be able to enjoy a hamburger at McDonalds ever again. Each time you even hear the word "grease", those images will haunt you!

Mission accomplished!
03-25-2012, 12:35 AM
NeoCracker

I don't eat McDonalds anyway. :p

And who said the images were a bad thing?
03-25-2012, 12:46 AM
Ultima Shadow

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeoCracker

And who said the images were a bad thing?

Oh my, looks like I managed to find another person sharing my unique fetish! NEO! LET'S GET GREASY TOGETHER!!! <3
03-25-2012, 01:13 AM
NorthernChaosGod

Get a room, you guys.
03-25-2012, 01:51 AM
NeoCracker

I was imagining a cheese pizza, I've no Idea what he was talking about.

:shifty:
03-25-2012, 02:18 AM
Jiro

seriously greaase is gross gusy smurf
03-25-2012, 09:44 PM
NorthernChaosGod

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmariaSama

My friends made me an okcupid account one time when we were all drinking and being stupid, and they put all kinds of crap on there about how much I put out and whatnot. The next day, we checked it, and I had like a hundred notifications.

Hmm... If there's something to be said there, I'm not sure what it is...

Ha! That's awesome. Do you still have the account link?
03-26-2012, 12:16 AM
drotato

Quote:

Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmariaSama

My friends made me an okcupid account one time when we were all drinking and being stupid, and they put all kinds of crap on there about how much I put out and whatnot. The next day, we checked it, and I had like a hundred notifications.

Hmm... If there's something to be said there, I'm not sure what it is...

Ha! That's awesome. Do you still have the account link?

Haha, no, I don't think so. I wouldn't even be able to find it if I did still have it. o. o
03-26-2012, 02:19 AM
NorthernChaosGod

:colbert:
03-26-2012, 03:31 AM
drotato

Quote:

Originally Posted by NorthernChaosGod

:colbert:

Heeey.... Why do you want it anywaaaay? :jokey:
03-26-2012, 05:36 AM
NorthernChaosGod

I have my reasons.
03-26-2012, 04:22 PM
jenovajunkie

"Hey. You. Me. 10 minutes my place. A bucket of chicken, tub of grease, some KY and trojan. Hell I'll even order a pizza. Extra cheese and sausage. Bada-bing-bada-boom. Well what you think. I think I just blew my load talking about it. Because it's hot, that's what that is."

That could work right? Hahaa if it's read at a constant speed, it works.
03-26-2012, 04:41 PM
Jinx

Using lube with condoms breaks them, mate.

Get pre-lubed condoms. ;)
03-26-2012, 05:40 PM
Sephex

And don't lube up condoms that come pre-lubed, either. You go so fast that the friction eventually generates too much heat setting whatever you are having sex on in flames along with your public hair, if you have any.

It was on Mythbusters.
03-26-2012, 05:53 PM
Peegee

wait.

so hypothetically how would I go about having anal sex? would I just hope that the anal sex condoms had enough lube??
03-26-2012, 05:59 PM
Jinx

Last time I checked, you couldn't get pregnant in yr butt.
03-26-2012, 06:05 PM
Peegee

Quote:

Originally Posted by fierytempest

Last time I checked, you couldn't get pregnant in yr butt.

....STDs. HIVs. HPVs... STIs. ew.
03-26-2012, 06:15 PM
drotato

Why do these kinds of topics always lead to anal sex? @. @
03-26-2012, 06:33 PM
Jinx

HPV is vaginal, though.
03-26-2012, 07:26 PM
drotato

Quote:

Originally Posted by gegelo2012

what are your suggested online dating site? :)

The only free one I have used is okcupid. It's not too bad. There are lots of people that use it, and tons of people will probably be in your area. And you can make your profile as detailed as you like. (:
03-26-2012, 11:41 PM
NorthernChaosGod

I'm pretty sure water-based lube is okay to use with condoms, guize.
03-26-2012, 11:44 PM
Peegee

Quote:

Originally Posted by fierytempest

HPV is vaginal, though.

....what? this demands sauce.

STD Facts - Human papillomavirus (HPV)

>penis cancer
>females
>with penes
>chicks with dicks

No thanks.

So as I was saying - I have to hope that anal sex is okay with vanilla anal condoms?
03-27-2012, 03:21 AM
jenovajunkie

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmariaSama

Why do these kinds of topics always lead to anal sex? @. @

Because anal sex is the way to go! .... :excited:
J/K.... sorta.
03-27-2012, 03:43 AM
drotato

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenovajunkie

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmariaSama

Why do these kinds of topics always lead to anal sex? @. @

Because anal sex is the way to go! .... :excited:
J/K.... sorta.

Hmmm... I dunno if I'm gonna believe that. <. <
03-27-2012, 03:57 AM
Jinx

Anal is the worst.
03-27-2012, 04:32 AM
drotato

It seriously is... Ugh.
03-27-2012, 05:55 AM
NorthernChaosGod

:Oo:
03-27-2012, 06:00 PM
drotato

What? :blush:
03-27-2012, 06:05 PM
Unbreakable Will

:smug:
03-27-2012, 06:06 PM
Psychotic

Stop being inappropriate weirdos, you inappropriate weirdos. :colbert:
03-27-2012, 06:14 PM
NorthernChaosGod

I thought you liked it when I did that, Paul. :(
03-27-2012, 06:38 PM
DMKA

Quote:

Originally Posted by fierytempest

I just want a guy with a big dick.

Wow.
03-27-2012, 06:49 PM
Jiro

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psychotic

Stop being inappropriate weirdos, you inappropriate weirdos. :colbert:

Somehow I agree with the Big P.
03-27-2012, 10:53 PM
Peegee

Quote:

Originally Posted by DMKA

Quote:

Originally Posted by fierytempest

I just want a guy with a big dick.

Wow.

Do it dimka. do it for your team. (not that team. the guys team)

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