So I was listening to some FFMusicDJ today and was reminded of this place, which in turn reminded me of the missing chorus last week in the otherwise cacophony of praise I received in having survived another landmark, record-setting year of life on this planet. But lo and behold, as I checked around, not a single public-facing celebration in my honor. Just a few paltry visitor messages! What the hell is wrong with you people? I'm basically an internet celebrity. I have over 2,000 comment karma on reddit. I have a blog... well, I mean, I broke it a few months ago, but I'm going to have a blog once I fix up my Wordpress. But there's a domain name there! So why was there not some kind of special theme set on this place based on significant events in my life? Or, at the very least, a compilation of YouTube videos of EoFF members tearfully reminiscing about their encounters with me, begging me to return, like when Kim Il Jong died?
You bastards. You tore my world apart today. I've been having a landmark year. The world has been set afire by my innumerable accomplishments. I've been on the path to change the world and when I come back to my old home on the Internet I see nothing. Nothing. I'm a hollow shell. A husk of a man. Do you want to know what you've invalidated? Here's just the short list of things I've done that apparently none of you give a good goddamn about:
- 3-time winner of the Red Robin Challenge, a multi-year event initiated every time I go to Red Robin to see if I can finish my entire hamburger and basket of fries without giving up at all.
- Extensively outlined and organized ideas for a collection of essays that I guess I might write once I figure out how to get my blog fixed.
- Cataloged and alphabetized my entire library of media on digital discs, including 27 DVDs, 13 PlayStation® 3 games, and 8 BluRay format discs.
- Finally figured out what that noise was.
- Began traveling the long path to become President of the United States of America by writing down an extensive list of budget changes I might make if I decide to run for city treasurer in a few years.
Now it all seems so insignificant. My dreams are shattered. What did any of it mean? What was it all for? Nothing. I can't even shoehorn this into a topic. I'm barely able to even see the screen through my tears. All I can do now is sit at my desk and wait patiently for death.
And wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Tom Waits.
