Those Silly Things About Video Games...

You know what I'm talking about - those silly little things that happen in all videogames without fail. For some reason, totally illogical and pathetic things are a common occurance in the majority of games these days, and there is no explanation offered as to why these things are still included. For example:

1) Guards? What Guards?!

Game: Zelda 64: Ocarina of Time. Place: Hyrule Castle. Somehow, even with the unbelievably tight security, Link manages to get straight into the central garden section of Hyrule Castle and to the Princess without being spotted by a single guard. Surely the most important person in the entire land could be a little more secure? Link could have been on an assasination attempt for all we know, and Zelda could have ended up with that Kokiri sword straight through her face. This also happens in loads of other games. A mission is placed before you, and only two incredibly stupid guards are placed between your character and the big red button that destroys the world.

2) Superhuman Powers!

Game: Goldeneye 007 (or nearly every FPS game). Place: Everywhere. James Bond sneaks into the nuclear warhead facility through the ventilation shafts above and drops down into the toilet cubicle. He comes across a guard who happens to be taking a leek and gets shot in the chest six times. However, James is perfectly fine and retaliates by shooting the guard in the leg - killing him instantly. James continues on down the corridor, and is shot by three guards armed with sub machine guns. James brushes off the bullets and wastes the guards with a couple of shots from his PPK. Why is James superhuman? Why can't these guards survive puncured lungs and pierced brains like our James?

Note: I'm not asking for these things to be changed, because it's all part of the game. If games weren't like this, they'd be impossible to complete. Nevertheless, it is amusing to pick out these silly points and make fun of them.

Having said that, are there any things in games that make you laugh? Any totally illogical and stupid scenarios that you'd like to share with us?

Ok i got one
The main badguys never learn. No matter how many times the hero has gotten into the headquarters and broken in to thwart he evil plans he/she should realize that if he removed even one of those little floating platforms away from his/her bas they'd be safe from the hero forever.

There always seems to be helpful pickups inside enemy bases and whatnot just for you.

You find bullets and ammunition in the most innopropreate places like under a bed, or in the bathroom of a mansion.

Dimensions are always messed up, the outside of a building is always smaller then the inside, this also goes with the heroes ability to carry 100 bombs, 100 missles, 100 arrows, 1 giant bazooka, and a large broadsword twice the length of the hero all on his/her pockets.

I always liked in RPGs that everyone patiently waits their turn before fighting, including enemies.

"Oh no sir, you go first. We can wait."

And yeah, as Joel points out, what's with the weaponry lying around? What if a small child were to come across a chaingun in the middle of the corridor? Or an active grenade?

And what's with boss characters? What makes person 'X' so much tougher than the five hundred nobodies you have just sliced/shot your way through?

You can kill a gigantic 100 foot tall nuke burping, lazer farting, 27 armed town stoping giant robot with just a bere pellet gun, all you need to do is memories its attack patterns.

The main hero fallows the laws of Logans run, the oldest most of the heroes in games are about 18, a grizzeld combat hero is usually 21-22.

The main heroine has some kind of jewl that has the power to save the world or destroy it.

In top sucurity bases they place slow moving visible (or right next to an infa-red goggle) lazers in patterns that are designed to be walked through

Bosses have attack patterns

After the alarms gone, 30 seconds later, guards seem to have forgotten about you and are going about as if you were never there.

The average guard has a vison range of approxmitly 4 meters.

They can spot massive lazer beams coming out of your gun.

you seem to be able to have half hour long conversations in the middle of a battle while the enimie just stands around and makes a cup of coffee.

People can be stabbed with a foot wide sword several times, yet still back flip over their opponant to be killed with a small kick to the ankles.

In MGS2 revolver ocelot jumps about 50 ft onto Metal gear ray

Bad guys seem content on destroying the world. I mean where would they go from there. I quote from the tick

"are you interested in destroying the world"
"good god no, All my stuff is there"

I have more.

The main character is usually somewhat super-human in the fact that s/he can probably run to infinite and not get tired, as well as jump and pull off any other feats with relative ease. Not to mention you could fall off insane heights and make it off with just a little damage done to you.

A rest in a hotel can do you wonders, you can heal open wounds, rid your body of deadly poisonous toxins, remove burns, and remove other ailments just by taking a nap at an inn for a night.

They call them cities and towns but the only buildings that they have are a hotel, a gunshop, and a medicine shop.

A massive godlike sorcerer has enough power to take over the world, so what does he do? Hold a fighting tournament!

Exploding heads, thats cool, vulgar language, no problem, extreme violence, go nuts, sexual stu.. NO!! NEVER

No matter what time peroid it is the main hero and villain are the only characters to use swords.

Bad guys always leave there weak spots open for any idiot to throw a grenade at.

Why does Sonic the Hedgehog not die when he has rings? Do they form some sort of protective barrier against razor sharp spixes and toxic gases? I think not!

Why do enemies miraculously return to life in certain games when you simply walk off the screen and then step back a few paces?

Heh. This thread is very entertaining. Thanks for your contributions.

A certain FF character can get killed by a sword, but she'll be damned if she were to be taken down by guns, grenades, giant snakes, lazer beams, or robots that stomp on her.

A giant meteor is capable of destroying planets and even the sun, yet it doesn't kill the heroes.

Mushrooms that make people grow bigger.

Whenever I go around a police barricade in Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit 2, the cops always seem to know if I go around a barrier when I go through a detour around where it's located, almost as if they had some sort of telepathic connection with where my car was, even though they were waiting where I wasn't.

Freaking odd. Kind of funny, too.

I really don't understand the Mario levels in which the level is progressing with or without you, and you die if you don't catch up.

People actually say outloud.
To climb latters press the circle button and press up on the DPad.

its called a video game for a reason people:mog:

NOT TO ME IT ISN'T!

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its called a video game for a reason people

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Note: I'm not asking for these things to be changed, because it's all part of the game. If games weren't like this, they'd be impossible to complete. Nevertheless, it is amusing to pick out these silly points and make fun of them.

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Sometimes, an explanation just isn't enough. :D

I have to post this. This is not a new question

RPG Cliche list
RPG Cliche list
RPG Cliche list

You get my point you should read em, their funny

No one said anything about those coveniently placed exploding barrels. Or the fact that turkey, rice balls, or pieces of armor and weapons always seem to fall out of enemies bodies when they die.

No matter what the situation there is always some kind of food item you find on the ground and picking it up immediatly heals you.

Isn't it intresting how skeletons seem to carry around money? Where do they put it and how does it stay with them. Also, isn't it just strange how on almost all games that producers just seem to forget that in cold weather everybody just seems to have protection against it,and all other elements for that train of thought.

I'm not sure if this mimics Rainecloud's first post, but in Doom you can survive a rocket launcher to your face and keep walking. Speaking of which, how come being shot up / knocked into 1 hp doesn't result in you crawling around like a baby? In Doom games if you have one hp it's still hypothetically possible for you to survive the rest of the map just as long as you don't get 'hit' by projectiles or the gun blast 'sprites'.

I don't like how you can defeat Nemesis with a knife just by dodging his grabs over and over. My brother watched his friend do that and was like 'wtf'

Peeing in Duke Nukem restores your life. I mean, it heals shotgun wounds, wounds from falling from a building, etc...

How do you get '200%' life anyway?

How come the bosses in Donkey Kong are weak only to Barrels and not being rolled into?

And how come some are only weak against Steel Kegs?

And where to do the steel kegs and barrels keep appearing from?

WHERE?

And how do the bananas float? And if Donkey Kong got all his bananas back at the end of Donkey Kong Country, how come you can collect them again in the other games?

And since when do 100 bananas = an extra life, when an extra life IS A BALLOON!?!