Oh, where do I start? I guess I'll tell you the most recent and my favorite.

Last night I was very sloshed as part of the end of the semester celebration, and I walked into a tree that I didn't see (I had also smoked ganja and chewed shrooms) and one of the limbs hit me in the lip. I got angry because I thought the tree was picking a fight, and I got scared as hell because we had just watched Evil Dead (with the whole tree-rape scene, an' all).

My favorite story was after I took seven shots of Absolut Vodka and drank a bunch of screw drivers, then I don't remember anything past burning myself with my lighter by accident, and the next morning I woke up in my friend's room with puke beside the bed, and there was no one in the apartment but me.