But Odaisé, after that experience, you get to spend a bunch of money making sure your house is child-safe! And then you get to change dirty diapers! And feed it! And clean up the mess it makes when it completely rejects your attempts at feeding it. And oh! Oh the best part. Waking up at one in the morning to a screaming child that cannot go to sleep for no discernable reason whatsoever.

Man, parenthood sounds lovely.