I’m not feeling very well tonight.
1.) Best Member
God, I’ll just take the easy route and say Goldenboko. I don’t know. I hate this award; I hate nominating for it, I hate voting for it, and I especially hate predicting who will win it—yet I do it anyway, because
2.) Best Male
I think that Jowy will take this one, since it seems to me that he has been displaying a really impressive amount of masculinity lately. But watch out for Psychotic, who may get many pity votes.
3.) Best Female
I fire_of_avalon.
4. Best Administrator
Uhh... Cid. Whatever. Not many of them are really doing their job properly.
5. Best Cid's Knight
I think a lot of people will be turned on to Psychotic, who has been flaunting his ban count a little too much for comfort (it’s kind of like when leatherman comes up to me and tells me to put my hand in his pocket).
6. Best Site Staff
Who the smurf are these people? I’m going to make my prediction based on comfort only, and say Flying Mullet.
7. Best Recognized Member/Former Staff
Big D, I guess. I honestly was just in a rush to get out of these staff awards.
8.) Best Veteran
To me, edczxcvbnm seems like a pretty good candidate for this. Like, he’s really angry and junk, and that’s what veterans usually are. Watch out for Unne though, who may be getting the pity vote after missing out on being an administrator.
9.) Best Regular
You know, I used to think that yanis was a girl. I’m still not too sure to be honest, but I’ll go with him anyway, since he once told me that I had a nice tie.
10.) Best Newbie
No other newbie besides TyphoonThaReapa is gonna pop a cap in your anus if you don’t vote for him/her. Be careful.
Vikeve
(I accidentally left Vikeve’s name in there. I am very, VERY sorry.)
11.) Nicest Member
Tightly wrapping smilies is a wise tactic to make people think you are nice, demondude55. I am fully aware of your sinister plans, though.
12.) Evilest Member
Wouldn’t it be funny if the person that won this award wasn’t really that evil at all? Leeza, with a hint of Rye.
13.) Sexiest Male
I am so comfortable with my sexuality that I refuse to predict this Cidde. But, for the sake of predicting, I say Breine.
14.) Sexiest Female
I am so uncomfortable with my sexuality that I refuse to predict this Ciddie. But, for the sake of predicting, I say Armisael (not that I have the slightest clue who this person is.)
15.) Cutest Male
When he’s not flaming me for using shooting smilies, I guess DK seems pretty cute.
16.) Cutest Female
Uhhh... ~*~Celes~*~.
17.) Best Custom Rank
I can’t even remember what Old Manus’s custom rank is, but I’m sure people will vote for such a friendly face.
18.) Best Avatar
This predicting business sure is a lot of hard work. I think I will get a drinking bird to make the next few predictions for me.
Mirage
19.) Best Signature
I'm my own MILF
20.) Best Artist
I don’t know anything about this crap, so I’ll just say
Garnie
21.) Best Graphic Designer
Don’t know anything about this, either.
atlanteay
22.) Best Writer
Or this.
Rase
23.) Best Poet
Or this. But this guy does have the word in his name, so I can’t say why people wouldn’t vote for him.
Poetically Pathetic
24.) Best Poster
There is some kind of cosmic attraction to Bunny and his posts, so this really seems like the sensible choice.
25.) Best Spammer
Too many best awards.
Quin 'n' Tonic
26.) Best Chatter
Jowy is always seeping chat’s content into the forums, so I think
you know
come on ppl
27.) Best Usernoter
Though best in user notes is subjective, we all know that I am better at user noting than anyone here. However, I really do believe that Psychotic will get the pity vote for this one.
28.) Funniest Member
All the nominees have their moments. Except for most of them, honestly. I think that Christmas has been spreading the cheer with her comics and this, that & the other thing, so yep, I’ll go with her. YEP.
29.) Weirdest Member
NeoCracker. If by weird you mean...
30.) Horniest Member
Nominus Experse. I uhh... I think.
31.) Biggest Fanboy/Girl
sephirothishere.. of HIMSELF. 8-)
32.) Most Mysterious Member
Come on, Evastio won’t even give me his age (valuable information that I can use to murder him and the ones he loves)
33.) Most Improved Member
I don’t even know who eiko guy is, but if he (or she) has managed to make it this far, then that is an improvement.
34.) Most Underrated Member
It should be no doubt in your mind that blackmage_nuke is underrated. And a member, too! Hey, I’m getting pretty good at this. Except not really.
35.) Most Innocent Member
Did you know that Psychotic thought Dr. Acula was an accomplice of mine? She was innocent, though.
36.) Most Missed Member
Nobody misses Devil Man, and only morons miss Cruise Control. Dignified Pauper still hangs around too much to be missed, and not enough people know what an ff babe is. People are forgetting Kawaii Ryûkishi, and nobody cares about Loony BoB. I think that RSL is the easiest of all of these candidates to miss. People like easy.
37.) Most Helpful Gamer
JKTrix. I think I’ve seen him in the General Gaming section a few times, and I usually walk away an educated man.
38.) Most Helpful Techy
I didn’t even know that people still did this.
Yamaneko
39.) Most Helpful Member
Rengori just always seems to be there when you have forgotten the lyrics to a Nirvana song. Now, if that isn’t helpful, I don’t know what is.
40.) Cutest Couple
By ‘‘Cutest Couple,’’ this award pretty much just means which couple you would most like to be in a threesome with. Now for me, it’s pretty obvious. The tough part was trying to predict which couple the majority would favor (here is some padding text). Now, it was easy to knock off most of them, as not all of them had a Cid's Knight (and you know how much people like Cid's Knights). I was then able to whittle the list down further, to two couples consisting almost entirely of Cid's Knights. Annoyingly, of course, it was two, so I had to pick Hsu & rubah at the flip of a coin. Watch out for: STDs.
Most Likely To...
41.) Be a Cid's Knight
The award of who you think would be a Cid's Knight, but will never actually be a Cid's Knight. Probably. I predict Tavrobel, since everyone likes Tavrobel. Just kidding, nobody likes Tavrobel.
42.) Be Banned
Baloki
please.
43.) Simply Walk into Mordor
Holy 


guys, I seriously had a dream like this once. I think. Odd Eye was there though, so I’m pretty confident that he’d be the kind of man to get this job done.
44.) Haunt the forums after they die
Citizen Bleys.
45.) Win a Ciddie for the first time
Bunny. I’m trying to stop writing now, since I’m really tired.
46.) Drown in the Sahara desert
Seems like the kind of thing Peter_20 would do.
47.) Run over a frog and spend the rest of their life crying over it
Who the hell thought of this Ciddie? It’s too retarded.
Ki Ki, I guess.
48.) Be Homer
Me. Meat Puppet. I smurfing idolize Homer Simpson.
49.) Be Marge
I don’t like Marge, and I think it would be mean of me to predict anyone for this award. I just hope that Tempest can forgive me.
50.) Get Together
Psychotic & Levian. They are both men, who appear to be at least slightly straight. I think I will pull a Raistlin on this one.