Originally Posted by
Maxx Power
From a newborn child to the oldest of people, everyone has a sense of right or wrong. We as humans have a unique opportunity to make decisions for ourselves. We are not simply limited to biologically determined patterns of behaviour that we may follow blindly without recourse. Our minds analyse, understand and cognate the world around us. We know that there are certain things we can do, and some things we cannot. Society itself is built upon the notion of right and wrong, and for the balance to be brought too far in one direction is to open the floodgates for the downfall of civilization. So it gives me a strange kind of pleasure to introduce the following particularly foul individuals. These are the members who choose to embrace their darker sides, to cast aside the beneficial choices that would help their fellow man. They represent greed, anger, destruction; all manner of negativity. Stealing candy from children, tripping over pensioners, stabbing a badger in an eye with a spoon. You name it, these members have probably done it.
So who are these heartless bar stewards? We begin with Bunny, surely a deceptively fluffy name. Do not be fooled, remember the vicious rabbit from The Holy Grail and be wary this seemingly cute individual. Christmas is a time of fun and happiness, where good will and peace are rife. Not here it seems, as all the family arguments, crap toys and vomiting sessions seem to be channeled vicariously through this member. Leeza propagates the use of cats as an avatar, one of the most loved of all animals. But remember those sharp claws and teeth, and the sheer viciousness that this kitty could produce. Mirage(s) have led many a people to their death. Either wandering in the desert to their death or brought to the rocks in an ill-fated ship, this deadly illusion is not to be trusted. Psychotic of course is the very definition of someone who is mentally unstable. Surely for one to be so evil they must lack the basis of a sound mind, making this member a prime candidate? Raistlin revels in the use of pimp similies, those who sell women on the streets. Only someone heartless and purely evil could perpetrate such crimes. Roto13 brazenly throws around the number 13 everywhere. This number has proven unlucky for so many, and could only be the badge of someone who wishes harm on others. rubah is one letter away from sounding like rhubarb. How many times have children been forced to eat this decidedly disgusting vegetable as punishment, thus giving rise to the ideals of torture and other evils? Rye is of course a grain product, but think of how many people these days are allergic to such things. Could this person be secretly causing all kinds of anaphylactic shocks on purpose? ShlupQuack obviously wishes for nothing more than to hear the distinctive “Shlup” noise of a gun fired at one of our poor avian friends. Perhaps I’m being a bit “quackers”, or perhaps this member embodies the very essence of evil. But last, and my no means least (evil), Tavrobel. A re-arrangement of their user name gives us the phrase of Rob Valet, a subliminal message for us to steal from those who nicely park our cars at social gatherings?
These people are sick and twisted. They corrupt the young, bring chaos to the world, and are generally not very nice. But the real question is who is the most evil of all? Can evil even be measured on any scale? Is a person who tells a white lie to get their friend in trouble as evil as someone who nails their wife’s shoes to the floor, thus making her late for work? Such questions cannot be answered in such a short space of time (or even text space). So instead the vote falls to you all. You, who are on the receiving end of these nefarious fiends, must be judge, jury and executioner. Who amongst these members shall be condemned and be named the Most Evil Member, so that whenever they see the golden visage of Cid staring back at them will only see countless eyes pleading for mercy staring back them?
I hand the decidedly questionable announcement of this “honor” over to our presenter.
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