Originally Posted by Rocket Edge
I guess you could call this one of the more undesirable awards, so I guess take everything I say with a pinch of salt.
Bert – Bert was sleeping one night in the middle of the Sahara desert, when his camel George came along, ate all his food & fled with his bag-pack. He swore with all that was good & holy that he would get revenge. After weeks walking & without food or drink he accepted defeat and lay himself out to die. He said a prayer, inscribed the letters NAS across his abdomen and died from torrential rainfall (I have to incorporate drowning right?). In respect to his slain homie, Nas the rapper went out to the Sahara in search of the camel that betrayed Bert, with only homicide on his conscience. In exactly one month later, George the camel was shot several times & killed in a drive-by shooting. He was only 14.
Evastio – Evastio went on a massive drinking session with the guys at his friends wedding, the day before he had to leave for the Sahara. He strolled out into the middle of the desert, until it came to sunrise, and then drowned in the sweat that inevitably was released from his hangover in such heat. A truly sad day for all ‘Post after 10 hits’ thread lovers.
Peter_20 – “A closed mouth gathers no foot”. This saying doesn’t really apply to our Peter, as he is often found courageously verbalizing his feelings in EoEO. The only real explanation I can think of is that he was off hiking in the Sahara, when he received some bad news about his latest girlfriend & drowned in his own tears. Paramount pictures have settled a 2.8 million deal with Peter’s family to turn his eventful life into a movie. Tom Cruise is rumored to be lined up for the role.
Meat Puppet - Meat Puppet, unlike our other six nominees found an oasis with water, however the only problem was that it was saltwater. He drank it, went on a hallucinogenic trip for several hours, before getting thirsty again and diving into the bottom of the fissure. He was never seen again; although legend has it he was sprouted up by a geyser in Norway, & now plays Texas Hold-em with Levian on Sundays.
Old Manus – Old Manus escaped from a plane with only a parachute approximately four years ago and landed in a remote island off the east coast of Africa. It was completely abandoned except for one person. He met up with Tom Hanks, and the two of them survived off coconuts, made fire, & had daily soccer matches with Wilson the football, until they were miraculously rescued. Upon flying home, he heard on the radio that Lee Trundle had left Swansea City, and that they were relegated. Manus shot the pilot, the plane skydived, landed into Meat Puppets oasis, and they all drowned.
DK – DK was actually enjoying a well deserved break away in the Sahara when a giant wave hit him full on. Did he die? No, are you crazy? This is Dan we are talking about here. It would take a lot more than some kind of wave to kill this Buzz Cracker.
He was actually killed by the Tsunami that was Peter_20’s weeping.
Psychotic – During mid-June of 2007, Psychotic declared war on EoFF, by making people cry, and killing Loony BoB. He was forced out of his country and supposedly died a month later after fleeing. We are all led to believe Psychotic drowned in the Sahara, but this is a lie. He faked his own death, eloped with Jamie Cureton from Colchester United, and can now be seen in Tijuana working as a finance delegate for the Mexican government.
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