"Hi, I'm Arthur and I suck at French."

[Quindiana Jones]

Have you ever volunteered something and made a complete arse of yourself in the process?

I have. In my first French lesson at college today. I got 50% of a 4 word sentence wrong. But what did I say? Well, I'll tell you. "Tu as une femme?". The obvious mistake there is "as", as it should be "es". However, that is not all. I also pronounced "femme" as "fommmmmmm" instead of "fammmm". How silly of me. It was tres embarrassing.