Q: Why are Baloki's hands so soft?

[Quindiana Jones]

I wish I was your derivative so I could play tangent to your curves.


I wish I was your second derivative so I could explore your concavity.

Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness?
(SPOILER)There are nomad people there. :breine:

What do you have if you've got 100 chavs buried up to their necks in sand?
(SPOILER)Not enough sand. :breine:

What's ET short for?
(SPOILER)Because he's got little legs. :breine:

There's a new Indian take-away dish out called Chicken Tarka.
(SPOILER)It's like chicken tikka, only a little otter. :breine:

What do 2 litres of vodka and Psychotic's face have in common?
(SPOILER)They both make you sick. :breine:

Thank you! Thank you all! I'm here all night. Try the fish.

[rubah]

I'm terrible at jokes. Some of the ones neotifa quoted, I really want to explain ;_; *restraint*

[NeoTifa]

...

What do 2 litres of vodka and Psychotic's face have in common?
(SPOILER)They both make you sick. :breine:
...

I like Psychotic...

[Quindiana Jones]

Some people just don't understand...

[drotato]

What do 2 litres of vodka and Psychotic's face have in common?
(SPOILER)They both make you sick. :breine:

Ohmigawd, I just laughed so hard, I spit tea out my nose.

(SPOILER)
That hurts.... thanks a lot, Quin.

[Parker]

Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness?
(SPOILER)There are nomad people there. :breine:

There's a new Indian take-away dish out called Chicken Tarka.
(SPOILER)It's like chicken tikka, only a little otter. :breine:

Best jokes in the thread!

[Quindiana Jones]

This thread is what :breine: was made for.

[Jiro]

Why do elephants have big ears?
(SPOILER)Because Noddy didn't pay the ransom

[G13]

Why is it when we talk to God we're praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

What's grosser than gross?
(SPOILER)When a midget walks by and says your hair smells nice.

What do coffins and condoms have in common?
(SPOILER)They both hold something stiff.

A six-year-old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa. When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grandpa's room.
"Grandpa, Grandpa!" he says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"
"What?" said his grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog because Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we're going to Disneyland!!!"

[Jiro]

Oh man, little kids are the best.

[Rocket Edge]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

(SPOILER)Who gives a smurf it's a chicken.

[NeoTifa]

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the
light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!' What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, Grandma